Emovere Morsus
by LaTashaMalfoy
Summary: The word 'Mud-Blood' on Hermione's arm hurt when she looked down into the bassinet. "I know you didn't have a choice, but now neither do I." She whispers into the darkness to the stranger. "I can take your pain away." He whispers back. *Warning: Rape*
1. Carnal Torture

"Ah ha ha! Disgusting little Mud-Blood! Still won't crack?" Draco watched as his aunt tortured his classmate, watched as she screamed in pain. "Maybe you can get something out of her, Draco?"

"We weren't close," Draco whispered, looking at Hermione's arm. _Please, don't make me torture her. I don't think I could stomach it. _

"'Bout time you step up and become a man Draco, deary," Bellatrix laughed, causing Draco's face to go white. "What do you say, Lucius?"

"If it makes the Mud-Blood crack," Lucius agreed. And with that, Bellatrix's smile got bigger.

"Ha ha! My little nephew gets to become a man!" Draco muted out his aunt and stared down at Hermione. The word written across her arm. Never in his life had Draco seen Hermione so weak, so broken. "Come, grab her. Take her into the bedroom. Information, Draco! That's what this is about! Bring honor to our name!"

Closing the door behind him, Draco stared at Hermione lying on the bed. She already looked like hell, her spirit was broken.

"Malfoy?" She begged, looking up at him. "Please? Don't do this."

Leaning over Hermione, Draco grabbed her arm, her fresh battle wound only inches away from his face.

"That'll never heal right," he whispered, looking at it. "My father used to tell me a Mud-Blood actually bled mud. I had never seen you bleed Granger, what choice did I have but to believe him?" Laying there, Hermione can't help but wait for the pain. She knew the game of torture, act like the friend and then when they least expect it, attack again with more. "Please, relax." Draco couldn't believe his aunt had done this, his father was telling him to do this. Hermione's body didn't relax at all; instead she tensed up more. "Here, Granger, I'll prove I'm not the bad guy." With that he leans in, pressing his lips against the word 'Mud Blood', her scar for life. Whispering something inaudible onto the wound, he picks his head back up. Suddenly, her arm is soothed with a cooling sensation.

"Thank you." She whispered between the tears, "Are you going to-"

"I have to, Granger. If I don't, Auntie Bell will kill me too. We will both die."

Gently, Hermione nods.

"Is this your first?" Hermione nods again, tears welling up in her eyes. "Snape is an Occlumens. He has taught me how to close parts of my mind. I promise, I will try to-" _Try to what? I will try to be gentle? I will try to make in seem like we both want this? _

"I understand." Hermione whispered, another tear falling down her cheek. Gently, Draco leaned over her.

"Please, don't cry," he whispered, brushing the tear away. "I will try to make all your pain go away." Leaning in, Draco gently sets his lips on Hermione's as he fumbled with his belt.

"Filthy Mud-Blood wouldn't say a word!" Draco snarled, stomping out of the bedroom, holding onto Hermione's arm. Just as he had told her he would, he pushes her onto the floor.

"I don't believe you!" Bellatrix spat at Draco, "She's weak, I have weakened her. She should have spilled everything to you! You just haven't done it right!"

"You don't believe me, bloody check her for yourself!"

"Oh no, I'll do better!" With that, Bellatrix put her wand up to Draco's temple, just as he had expected. "Legilimens," she snarled.

_"Malfoy? Please don't do this?" Draco fumbling with his belt, him ripping at Hermione's shirt. Tears streaming down her face, a whimper, a cry out. His stomach laying against hers, a groan in his voice. "TELL ME!" Not a single secret spilled. _

"Just as pathetic as the Mud-Blood herself. And you call yourself a Death Eater. Ha!" Bellatrix laughed just as Ron and Harry came running up from the dungeon. Quickly Draco looked down at Hermione, a tear sliding from her eye, not from pain of the still bleeding word on her arm, but from the pain of her first sexual experience. _I'm sorry._


	2. Emovere Morsus

The week following left Draco restless. Sleep would not come easily to him and even with the help of potions and spells, the sleep was not restful. Narcissa watched as her son grew sick, as the emotion died behind his eyes and couldn't help but wonder if Bellatrix and Lucius had made a mistake.

One night, much like all the others, Draco climbed out of bed. The sleeplessness wasn't getting him anywhere. He saw her face, watched her cry, even during the day now. He had to talk to someone about it, and there was only one person he trusted. Standing in front of one of the guest bedroom doors at the Manor, Draco sighs as he raises his hand, gently knocking.

"Come in," a deep voice called from the other side of the door. The familiar deep voice...Draco was in luck.

"Were you asleep?" Draco questioned, pushing open the door. Sitting on the large bed in front of him was his former teacher, the only one who knew Draco was not meant to be a Death Eater. The same one who taught him to close off his mind-Severus Snape.

"Wouldn't matter if I was, I am awake now."

"I did something horrible," Draco confesses, fighting back tears.

"We have all done something horrible. That is why we work for the Dark Lord."

"I have done something really horrible." Slowly, Draco told his professor, his teacher even outside of Hogwarts, everything. He tells him of how the 'Mud-Blood' begged, how he kissed her gently before forcing himself on her, how he locked away the kiss and the soothing of her arm.

"The girl?" Severus asks, still not showing any signs of emotion in what Draco had confessed.

"Miss Granger."

Severus sits there silently for a moment, contemplating "You are to lock this away, just as we've discussed, empty yourself of emotion. If the Dark Lord sees that you are letting this upset you-"

"He will not see it."

"You haven't slept in a week, foolish boy! Everyone in the Manor can see it!" Severus snapped, causing Draco to go quiet. "Why did you come here?"

"I can't lock her away, I mean I can, but I can't lock away her pain. It is eating me alive."

"You want justice? You've joined the wrong team."

"I want redemption."

Severus sighed, writing two simple words on a piece of parchment paper. Staring down at the paper, he sets the tip of his wand on the paper, closing his eyes. Draco watches as Severus non-verbally puts a spell on the paper.

"What's wrong with it?" Draco asked as Severus handed him the paper.

"I was saving myself. Only you can read it," Draco looks down at the paper, the cramped handwriting.

"I don't understand."

"If redemption is what you want, this will help. It will rid her of the pain, leaving the memory more or less a movie in her head. No flashbacks, no sorrow, no scars."

"What's the catch?"

"It can only be used on someone once, per person, and it only lasts an hour. Let me see." Slowly Draco lifted his head, letting Severus look in his eyes. He had done well, locking away the memory, but the pain was visible. "Why so much pain?" Severus asked, knowing the answer. Suddenly, the door in Draco's mind opens, exposing everything. Tears stream down Draco's face, his chest hurts as Severus watched the entire ordeal, beginning to end. "You have failed."

"You asked," Draco snarled.

"And you gave in, not of free will, I'm sure. You think He won't ask whenever he sees that kind of pain behind your eyes? Surely you aren't that foolish."

"I AM NOT FOOLISH!"

"Then lock the memory away, forget about Miss Granger. Forget it even happened! Some things are better left forgotten!" Severus sighed, "Go. Get out of here. You have your spell."

"And I will lock it away. Thank you." With that, Draco walks out of the bedroom. _You'd better or we are both dead, _Severus thinks to himself. Standing outside the bedroom, Draco looks down at the paper. The cramped handwriting saying two words:

_Emovere Morsus._


	3. Dark Haired Figure

The announcement had been made at Hogwarts: any Seventh Years still wanting to graduate could spend the summer at Hogwarts, June through August, to make up for any school missed. The war was over, Voldemort was dead. And yet, Hermione couldn't stop feeling like the war would never really be over.

"She won't let me touch her, mate," Ron whispered, looking down at his lunch. The Great Hall couldn't help but hold nightmares for him, images of his mum crying over Fred's body. So Harry insisted that they eat lunch outside instead, under one of the few trees that hadn't been uprooted. "We will be kissing and everything's fine and then bloody hell!" With that, Ron threw his hands in the air, knocking his lunch tray on the ground. "Dammit, man."

"She pushed you away?" Harry asked, Hermione had always appeared to be quite a prude so this didn't surprise Harry. He knew that she hadn't given up anything easily.

"No, she just like, I can't even explain it, mate. She just-she flipped was what she did. She threw things. She cried. She did whatever she could to get me turned off. She's just not Mione anymore." With that, Ron stood up and walks away.

Hermione sat there in the lavatory, trying to keep from crying. She was late-again-it was impossible. How could she tell anyone the truth, how could she not? Gently, she puts her hand on the scar staring down at the words._ Mud-Blood._ She didn't know the spell, but somehow Draco had cooled her arm. That was the last thing she would allow herself to remember, him kissing the wound. _My father always told me Mud-Bloods actually bleed mud. _

"What I wouldn't give right now to see a little bit of blood," Hermione mumbled, standing up. Opening the door that led into the hallway, she walked right out of the lavatory and into none other but Draco Malfoy himself.

"Granger?" he asked, surprised. "I didn't expect-"

"Yea, I- I can say the same," Hermione answered quickly, turning and walking away from him.

"Granger!" he hollered, running to catch up to her.

"Please, Malfoy," she said, turning around. "Just leave me alone. You've done enough."

With that, she ran. Ran to the one place she had always felt safest. Ran to hide within the books.

"You do this for me." Hermione tells the boy, closing his hand around the money. The third year nods, grateful just to have Hermione talking to him. A quiet Gryffindor, not quite made for the house he had been placed in runs off, returning an hour later with the box. "Thank you," she whispered to him, kissing his cheek gently.

In the morning she promised herself she would take the test out of the box, hiding it within her robe as she walked to the lavatory. In the morning she would find out for sure if she was due with Draco Malfoy's child.

* * *

The minutes seemed like hours as Hermione stared at the little white stick, the hourglass on it flipping over and over again. She couldn't help but wonder who had thought she was missing, who had noticed that she could no longer eat breakfast without getting sick. Suddenly, the hour glass disappears, causing Hermione to pick up he stick, begging it for an answer.

PREGNANT

Her stomach dropped, falling deep down into her groin. _I never should have followed them. I should have had Harry and Ron go by themselves. I shouldn't have punched him. I should have told them the truth about the sword. I should- I should- _Suddenly Hermione broke down in tears, clutching her stomach in shortness of breath caught her off guard. The pain in her chest was unbearable. There was fear in her eyes as she felt her walls closing in. Gently, she curled up on the lavatory floor, accepting the pain the panic attack is giving her. _Maybe it'll be too much, maybe it will kill me._

"Granger? Merlin! Granger!" Slowly, Hermione opened her eyes, not quite able to breathe. "What the hell!" A dark, long-haired figure reached down for a wand. Hermione could see that much as she was carefully lifted off the floor. "You picked the lavatory closest to the Dungeon. I can get you in there without anyone noticing."

Hermione's chest never stopped pounding, not as she heard the dark-haired figure whisper something to the painting, not as the dark-haired figure helped her down gently on the couch, and not as the dark-haired figure called out the name of her rapist with concern. The name of her rapist. "DRACO! HURRY, DRACO!"


	4. Baneberry

Draco stared at his one living friend, the only other person to whom he had told the truth...after a fashion.

"Are you going to go talk to her?" Blaise asked, using his wand to flip a coin over repeatedly. "She's right in there." He points out of their room, into the commons.

"Pansy said-"

"I know what Pansy said, Congratulations."

"Don't bloody tell me that." Draco snarls, "Does this look like a bloody joke to you?"

"No, but I figure you'd want to be in there when she wakes up."

"Why? To set her into another attack? To remind her of the hell my family-the hell I put her through."

"Draco, you're my best friend. Tell me, do you want the baby?" Draco simply stared at Blaise. He had never questioned the child. He knew it was his. It wasn't a child out of love or passion, but out of survival. Either way, it was a child all the same, his child all the same. The Malfoy way was no way for a child, any child, to be raised.

"It doesn't matter."

"What the hell do you mean it doesn't matter?"

"I mean it doesn't matter! Get out Zabini, NOW!" _Before you start asking questions. _With that Blaise stands up, walking out of the room.

"You're an idiot, Malfoy. You could turn this all around right now."

"GET OUT!" Blaise shuts the door behind him, leaving Draco alone in the room. Draco leans back, laying width-wise across his bed. "What the hell did I do?"

Rage filled Draco and he grabbed the nearest thing he can find and threw it against the wall. He was a prefect so any items in the room were his alone to destroy. _Set the whole room aflame, _he thinks to himself as he stands up, running his hand along the side of a bookshelf, knocking every book off of it. Throwing A History of Hogwarts across the room, it hits the wall with a thud. Reaching on his sleeve, he tears the Prefect Badge off. _I am the farthest thing from perfect this pathetic school can get. Set the room on fire and never leave the bed. Let me burn here in hell, just like my aunt. _He pushes over the bookshelf before grabbing the rack out of his closet, using it as a baseball bat against the full sized poster bed, smashing the rack into a million pieces. Sweat in his hair, he sits back down on the bed as a tear streams down his face. _Bloody fucking pregnant._

"She's waking." Pansy calls out in the dungeon, causing Blaise to walk over as Hermione slowly opens her eyes. "Good morning. Are you okay?"

"Blimey! Get away from me!" Hermione screamed, backing herself up onto the arm of the couch to get away from Pansy.

"Give her space," Blaise says softly but sternly, putting his hand on Pansy's shoulder.

"What the-" Hermione looked around herself. "Why am I here?"

"You had a panic attack," Blaise answered, still not raising his voice. "Pansy found you." Just as he says that, the room behind him sounds like its falling apart. A curse followed by a loud crash fills the room. "I'll be right back, going to bloody put a hole between his room and mine and start demolishing it."

"You found me?" Hermione asked, suddenly a little bit calmer. She couldn't help but be nervous from the sounds of the room being torn apart, from being in the Slytherin Dungeon surrounded by her worst enemies, but she was a little calmer knowing that they weren't hexing her. _How much more can anyone break me?_

Pansy nodded her head vigorously, "You couldn't hardly breathe. It looked like were nearly dead. I brought you in here where Draco put you under a spell to calm you down. Then he used Anapneo to help you breathe. I was scared and told him about the pregnancy test I found beside you. He...he said it was his and walked out." With that, a tear slides down Pansy's cheek. "He told me everything."

"Oh," Hermione answers in shock. "So, why did you save my life then?" _If he told __you everything, you would have let me die. You would have let me suffer to death to keep the secret of your precious fantasy boyfriend. _

"As much as I hate you Granger, you're living the life that I wanted."

_He obviously didn't tell you everything._ "What did Malfoy tell you, exactly?"

"That it happened during the war, in the Manor. He obviously didn't go into details about any of it but I pieced it together." With that, Pansy winked. _She thinks Malfoy and I are...are...secret lovers. She has no idea what they put me through, no idea of- _Hermione looked down at her scar. _Did Malfoy not tell for his sake? Or for my own? Most likely for his, wouldn't want the world knowing Death Eater Draco Malfoy is also a- a- _Her mind wouldn't even let the word slip out.

"I said I don't want your bloody fucking help! I can do this on my own!" Draco hollered, stomping out of his bedroom and slamming the door. Standing there, he stared at Hermione, laying on the couch covered up. His eyes are cold as they stare at her, meeting hers for the briefest of seconds before he stormed off, leaving the dungeon.

"He does that a lot." Pansy whispers, handing Hermione a glass of water.

"No thanks, I don't...I don't drink anything anyone gives me any more." _Truth serum, Baneberry, Death Cap Draught. _Hermione was the enemy and she knew it.

"What has this war done to you, Granger?" Pansy asked, looking at Hermione strangely.

"Believe me when I tell you that you don't want to know."


	5. Nearly Dead

Hermione hadn't moved from the couch in the dungeon for a week and yet no one seemed to ask any questions. She had been wandering around like a zombie since the war, not looking at people, just past them. So whenever she refused to go to class, to move even, everyone just assumed the war had been to much on her. Ron tried asking questions, which Draco had Blaise answer. Blaise being the closest thing to common grounds there was for a Slytherin and a Gryffindor. They had even allowed Ron to go in and see Hermione once, her simply staring straight ahead past him.

"That's it!" Draco screams, throwing a book against the wall of his bedroom. The book barely misses Blaise's head.

"What the hell man?"

"She won't eat. She won't talk. She's barely even breathing." He hollers, throwing another book at Blaise.

"So why are you throwing things at me?"

"I don't know." Draco cries, putting his hands on his head as he collapses on the floor. "I don't know, I just want this whole thing to disappear. I just want Granger to come back and hex me or punch me or whatever she has to do to show she's still alive."

"Hey man, it's not that bad." Blaise tries comforting, earning himself a glare. "Okay, you're right. It's that bad."

"She won't drink anything Pansy gives her?"

"Nothing, says there might be something in it."

Draco looks down, thinking. "That's it!" He screams causing Blaise to jump and duck his head.

"What's it?"

Draco opens the door, leaning his head out. Checking on Hermione, he turns to a second year. "Hey kid, want to make some extra money?"

After dinner, Draco comes back into the Dungeon, checking on Hermione again.

"You're going to drink this." He demands, holding out a bottle of water. Slowly, she shakes her head. "Yes you are, the seal hasn't even been broken, you have no excuse."

"Please Malfoy?" She asks, looking up into his eyes. A chill runs down his back as he remembers the last time she looked at him like that.

"NO!" He hollers, pushing the bottle at her. "You are not going to die on my clock Granger! If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't have saved your life! I wouldn't be having these bloody nightmares if I wanted you dead!"

Hermione just stares up at him, the smallest flicker of life behind her eyes. "You have nightmares?"

"Of course I have nightmares! Every night and they always end the same way! Now drink!"

"Tell me about them." She whispers, barely audible.

"What the bloody hell Granger! Nightmares are nightmares, believe me! They are the same as yours! Drink!"

"Not until you tell me." She whispers again, her eyes meeting his. "Please?"

Draco grabs her by the arm, dragging her to her feet. He can't block it out anymore, she had opened the door in his mind. His chest hurt as he pictured everything he had done to her, all the ways he had hurt her. "You are going to drink this and you are going to drink it now!"

"NO!" She screams back, smacking him.

"Dammit Granger, that's my child in there too!" He hollers, causing her to look up at him.

"What?"

"You heard me! This isn't about me anymore! This isn't about you!" Calming down, he re-latched the door in his mind closing it from the world once more. "Drink this and then we will go in there." He points to the door leading to his room. "We will talk and only talk, I promise."

"How can I trust you?"

"I saved your life, how can you not?" Showing Hermione the not yet opened bottle, he twists it open in front of her, breaking the seal. "I promise, we will only talk." He whispers again as he puts the bottle up to her lips.

Reaching up the fragile girl takes the bottle from him, drinking the entire thing. She hadn't realized how dehydrated she was until she looked down at the empty bottle, still thirsty.

"There are more in my room."

"I don't know that I can go in there with you."

"If I leave the door open?"

Hermione stared at the door. _What more have I got to lose? What more can he do to me? My spirit's broken. I'm damaged goods, as my grandfather would call it. Nobody would want me, and yet..._

"I promise Granger, I'll leave the door open. I will not hurt you again." Almost unnoticeable, Draco sees a slight head shake. "Thank you."

Putting his hand on her back, he leads her up the stairs. He lets her go as soon as she gets past the doorway, allowing her to sit herself on his neatly made bed.

"I'm going to sit on the floor." He announces, quick not to make any sudden movements. Hermione was staring off into the distance again. _This can't be good, what are you doing Draco? You're insane trying to bring this girl back. _Gently, she nods. Draco moves across the room, sitting directly in front of where Hermione was staring. She still wasn't looking at him, past him more than at him, but he was in her line of view at least.

Draco can't help but stare at Hermione, never noticing before exactly how frizzed her hair was, how dark her eyes were. The silence filled the room as she sat there staring into a better place, a happier place and he sat there staring at her. Finally, he knew one of them had to say something.

"Do you want another bottle of water?" She nodded her head softly, once again almost unnoticeable. Standing up, Draco causes Hermione to jump, her eyes big with fear. "Sorry, too fast?" She nods again. "Okay, the water is over there." He points to a corner. "I am going to get you one." With that, he slowly walks over to where he had just pointed, grabbing a bottle of water and bringing it back to Hermione.

As he put the bottle in Hermione's face, she stares up at him. Her eyes looked nothing like Draco ever remembering them being. They were always shining, full of life and now it looked almost as if a Dementor had already had it's way with her.

"Hermione?"

"You saved my life?" She asks, unsure of the answer.

"Yea, I...I guess I did."

Before Draco could even think, Hermione had her arms wrapped around his stomach holding him close. "Thank you." she whispers before letting him go and rolling over on the bed. Her back towards him, he watched as she sobbed in the fetal position.

"It's okay Hermione." He whispers, rubbing her back like his mother used to when he was a child "You're going to be okay."


	6. Scars, Sweat, and Tears

**A/N: This chapter is to Privatenites, for the idea. I know the chapter is hard to deal with, I was crying the entire time I wrote out a certain specific scene (Not going to be a spoiler in my A/N) but the topic of the story isn't a topic for the faint of heart to begin with.**

* * *

Groaning, Blaise rolls out of his prefect bed. He couldn't be happier with the fact that he had become a Slytherin, it granted him a bedroom in the dungeon with no sunlight to wake him up. Also, he was the neatest Slytherin Hogwarts had, the most organized, which in return meant he could walk from his bedroom to the prefect bathroom he shared with Draco without turning on the light. Walking the same path he had been walking all school year, even before the war, and he tripped over something, landing face first on the carpeted floor.

"UGH! What the hell?" Blaise groaned, then went silent, hearing another groan in his bedroom. "What the hell!" he hollered, "LUMOS!" With the light on, he can see exactly what he had tripped over as Draco Malfoy lay in the fetal position on his floor, holding his upper stomach. "Mind my asking?"

"Kicking me in the ribs, is that how they say good morning where you're from?" Draco asked, holding his hand against his lower rib cage as he sat up, leaning against the bed. "I'll have to admit, you've got one hell of a kick."

"And you have a bloody crazy way of saying good morning yourself. Now tell me, why my bedroom floor? Why not...I don't know, Pansy's?"

"Because Pansy would sodding mount me if she woke up to me laying in her floor," Draco answered, speaking nothing but the truth. "Granger cried herself to sleep in my bed last night, I figured she'd lose it again if she woke up to me in the room. When I came in here you were already passed out. How was I supposed to know you don't know how to use a light before eight a.m.?"

"She's in your bed?" Blaise asked, giving Draco a confused look.

"She had finally fallen asleep. I couldn't bloody wake her."

"Okay," Blaise laughed. "Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?"

"What do you mean?"

"Granger fell asleep in _your_ bed and you couldn't wake her up so you camped out on my floor? When was the last time you _ever_ slept on a floor, Malfoy?"

"I don't need this from you! No one asked your opinion!" With that, Draco stormed out of the room, Blaise hollering behind him.

"Are you sleeping on my floor again tonight?"

"Probably," Draco answered, opening his own bedroom door. The light from the Common Room shined through onto his bed showing Hermione exactly the way he had left her, curled up in the fetal position facing the wall.

"Lumos," He whispered, causing the room to fill with a soft light. "Accio robes," he whispered again, a pair of robes quickly landing in his hand. Gently, he takes a step towards the bed, trying to look over Hermione and see her face, see if she was yet awake. She would lay there in that same position all day if Draco would let her.

"You promised," she whispered to the wall.

"I didn't realize you were awake, Granger."

"I didn't realize I was alive. Your room is so much darker than mine. I was used to the sun waking me up." Draco stood there in awe, staring at her back. Hermione was using sentences. Not just one word or a nod, but real sentences.

"Yeah, that's Slytherin for you." He answers, not sure of what else to say.

"I like it. The sun made me feel like I had to be happy, happy that this war was over. This is nice."

"Yeah," Draco answers, sitting on the bed subconsciously, thinking about what Hermione had said. "I guess it is."

"You promised." Hermione repeated, "You promised you'd tell me your nightmares."

"And we were having a bloody moment, Granger, or couldn't you see that? You don't have to ruin it with my nightmares." Hermione rolled over, facing him.

"I would like to know your side of it." Draco sighed. O_f course you would. _Carefully he opened the door in his mind, allowing all of his memories of that night surround him, fill him. Grabbing his chest, Draco feels the pain of that night, feels the pain of looking into Hermione's eyes. His vision blurred as he takes short, quick breaths to try to ease it as much as possible.

* * *

M-U-D

"Still nothing, Mud-Blood. Come on, you can tell Aunt Belle where you found it. Just tell me and this will all be over." Bellatrix tosses her head back, laughing at the thought.

"Maybe..." Draco couldn't stand seeing Hermione suffer like this anymore. He was about to lose his lunch as his stomach knotted up. "Weasley seemed pretty protective of her..." _I could probably stomach seeing him tortured a little better than I could her. _"Maybe watching us torture him would-"

"NO! We are to torture the girl first, Draco!" Bellatrix answered, "I am having fun torturing the girl."

_That's because you're a sick and twisted bitch, _Draco thinks to himself.

B-L

"I may have nightmares of this, but they won't be nearly as bad as yours will," Hermione groaned, a tear streaming down her face.

"And why is that, deary?' Bellatrix answered, getting down inches away from Hermione's face.

"Because when Harry kills Voldermor-t" Draco felt a sting in his arm as she mentioned the Dark Lord's name "Dying would be the the nicest punishment you can get!" With that, Hermione spat in Bellatrix's face.

"You little bitch!" Bellatrix screamed, "How's this for punishment? CRUCIO!" She pointed her wand at Hermione's face, causing Hermione to scream out in pain, filling the entire house with her screams for what seems like hours. Draco's face goes white as he does his best to mute out the sound, fighting back tears as he sees the light in his worst enemy's eyes dim down. She was quitting. She was giving up. Hermione was so close to broken that Draco couldn't even look at her anymore. She was supposed to be strong, stronger than him even. She never let anything get to her and now here she was, giving up.

O-O-D

"How's that for punishment you, little hussy?" Bellatrix hissed, laughing. "Ah ha ha! Disgusting little Mud-Blood! Still won't crack?" She turns to Draco, his stomach dropping. _Please don't. Please don't. Don't make me. I can't put a dagger up to her, no matter how many times she punches me in the face. I can't make her scream like that. I quit. Can I quit? _"Maybe you can get something out of her, Draco?"

"We weren't that close," he answered, looking down at the horrible word on her arm. The word he threw at her so many times. _I promise, if we live through this, I will never call you a Mud-Blood again._

"Bout time you step up and become a man, Draco deary." Her evil laugh rings through Draco's head as the familiar taste of his lunch and bile fills his mouth, realizing what his aunt is referencing. "What do you say, Lucius?"

"Whatever makes the Mud-Blood talk," he answered. Draco looked over at his father, not even recognizing the man anymore. How could they do this? Talking about Draco hurting her, traumatizing her, like they were discussing which tie would look better or what to have for dinner.

"Ha ha, my nephew gets to become a man!" Bellatrix sang, dancing around the room. "Come!" She grabbed Draco's hands as she leads him over to Hermione's body. "Take her to the bedroom, do what you must. Information, Draco!" His aunts eyes get big as she gazes into his. "Information is what we want. We want the Malfoy name to rise."

Draco turned around, facing Hermione on the bed after closing the door gently. He couldn't help but notice how little life was in her eyes as she just gazed into space.

"Hermione?" He asked, not even sure if she was coherent anymore. It was the first time he could ever remember using her first name.

Turning her head, she faced him. "Malfoy? Please don't do this. You are better than them."

Draco sat next to Hermione on the bed. He leaned over her and gently grabbed her arm, pulling it only inches away from his face. He couldn't help but look at the wound, the words carved carelessly into her arm.

"That'll never heal right," he whispered, looking at it. "My father used to tell me a Mud-Blood actually bled mud. I had never seen you bleed, Granger, what choice did I have but to believe him?" Laying there, Hermione can't help but wait for the pain. She knew the game of torture. She had seen it just now with Bellatrix. Act like the friend and then when they least expect it, attack again with more.

"Please relax." Draco couldn't believe his aunt had done this, his father was telling him to do this. Hermione's body doesn't relax at all and instead she tensed up more. "Here Granger, I'll prove I'm not the bad guy." With that he leans in, pressing his lips against the word 'Mud-Blood', her scar for life. Whispering something inaudible onto the wound, he picked up his head. Suddenly, her arm is soothed with a cooling sensation.

"Thank you," she whispered between the tears, "Are you going to-"

"I have to, Granger. If I don't, Auntie Bell will kill me too. We will both die. I am going to do what I can to save you. Do you hear me?" Draco put his hand on Hermione's tear stained cheek to try and comfort her.

Gently, Hermione nodded.

"Is this your first?" Hermione nodded again, tears welling up in her eyes. _FUCK YOU, AUNT BELL! _"Snape is an Occlumens. He has taught me how to close parts of my mind. I promise, I will try to-" _Try to what? I will try to be gentle? I will try to make in seem like we both want this? _

"I understand," Hermione whispered, another tear falling down her cheek. Carefully, Draco leans over her.

"Please, don't cry," he whispered, brushing the tear away. "I will try to make all your pain go away." Leaning in, Draco gently sets his lips on Hermione's as he fumbled with his belt. He had never been one for shaky hands with a woman, but then again he had never felt so torn when being with one either. Pulling his belt out of his trousers, he makes Hermione flinch.

"I can't be me anymore. My aunt is going to need to see all of this." A tear streams down Hermione's face as she nodded again.

"Malfoy?" He looked down at her. "Please, lock away one more kiss. I want to pretend you care." Gently, Draco leans down, pressing his lips to hers. A tear streams down his cheek, landing gracefully on the comforter beside her.

"Ready?" Gently, she nodded the last time.

"Filthy, disgraceful Mud-Blood!" He hollered, binding her hands with his belt. Yanking her shirt off, he hears a rip. _Why am I doing this? We are both better off dead than dealing with this. _"Pathetic excuse for a witch! How did you get the sword!" He screamed, inches away from her face.

"I don't know!" she cried, looking away.

"What do you mean you don't know! The mud in your brain making you forgetful!" another tear streamed down Hermione's cheek. "Maybe this will help you remember!" Unzipping his trousers, Draco curses himself for having to do this. For hurting her. He would rather be dead. Hermione turns her head away, embarrassed to look at Draco standing in front of her. Carefully, he works the buttons off her jeans, taking them off.

"Cute knickers, Granger," He laughed, removing them too. Climbing on top of Hermione, he surrounds himself with her hair, hiding his face. "That is probably more of me than my Aunt wants to see," he whispered, nearly inaudible into Hermione's ear. She could barely hear the words over the breath that came out with his voice. "But I can't risk her looking in your mind if she's not happy with what she sees in mine."

Hermione noded, bracing herself for the pain Ginny and Lavender discussed a first time feeling like. She distances herself as she feels a sudden, sharp pain in her lower region. Distances herself to think of that conversation with the other Gryffindor girls. How she had laughed when they joked of the bases with different boys they had been with. The bases Hermione had never seen before losing her virginity. How they had made fun of the way different boys kissed, the tinge of jealousy Hermione felt when Lavender mentioned Ron's name. She took herself far away from the Manor, as far as she could go until Draco rolled off of her, panting.

Both of them lay there quiet for just a second before the taste of bile returns to Draco's mouth. This time, he doesn't fight it. Instead he leans over, not even caring that there was no bucket to throw up in, and empties the contents of his stomach onto the bedroom floor. When he feels he can throw up no more, the dry heaving kicks in causing his entire stomach and chest to fill with pain.

"I'm so sorry, Granger," he whispered through both of their tears whenever he finally gets the gagging managed. "I am so sorry."

Hermione doesn't answer, doesn't even look at him. Draco grabs her by the shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

"Whenever we go in there, I'm going to throw you down on the ground. Catch yourself, okay?" Hermione nodded. "I'm going to tell her to check your mind. Whenever I do, she will think I did something to yours and she will check mine. Don't screw up. If you want to live, don't screw up." Hermione gently nodded with wide eyes, understanding the severity of it all. "I think she is done with you, she will move on to someone else next. I can save you tonight after she goes to bed, you will make it out alive. I promise."

"Filthy Mud-Blood wouldn't say a word!" Draco snarled, stomping out of the bedroom, holding onto Hermione's arm. Just as he had told her he would, he pushes her onto the floor.

"I don't believe you!" Bellatrix spat at Draco. "She's weak, I have weakened her. She should have spilled everything to you! You just haven't done it right!"

"You don't believe me, bloody check her for yourself!"

"Oh no, I'll do better!" With that, Bellatrix puts her wand up to Draco's temple, just as he had expected. "Legilimens," She whispered.

_"Malfoy? Please don't do this." Draco fumbling with his belt, him ripping at Hermione's shirt. Tears streaming down her face, a whimper, a cry out. His stomach laying against hers, a groan in his voice. "TELL ME!" Not a single secret spilled. _

"Just as pathetic as the Mud-Blood herself. And you call yourself a Death Eater. Ha!" Bellatrix laughed as Ron and Harry came running up from the dungeon. Quickly, Draco looked down at Hermione, a tear sliding from her eye, not from pain of the still bleeding word on her arm, but from the pain of her first sexual experience. _I'm sorry. _He couldn't help but be thankful as Harry disarmed him, as the chandelier fell and Hermione ran into Ron's arms. He couldn't help but be thankful as Dobby Disapparated with the group and then his stomach dropped as the dagger that had dug into Hermione's skin disapparated as well, leaving Draco wondering if he had made any difference at all.

* * *

Hermione sat there, staring at Draco. She couldn't even think. Somehow, hearing Draco's voice repeat the words of the most horrific night of Hermione's life made her feel less alone about it all. Like maybe she wasn't the only one who had suffered through it all. Somewhere in Hermione's tortured, traumatized mind it made sense for her to say that she wasn't alone. That in that night, Draco Malfoy had been raped too.


	7. For the Baby

**A/N: Reviews are inspiration.**

* * *

Although Draco heard the voice, he wasn't really listening to it. The mindless chatter of the Slytherin table at lunch had never really been to his amusement. Instead he sat there, staring down at his pudding wondering what in the hell he was going to do about the living zombie in his room.

"This is the battle of the century everyone. Draco Malfoy, King of Slytherin versus the Dark Pudding. It's going to be a tough one out here today, blood will be spilt. Pudding will be eate-"

"What the hell are you doing, Pansy?" Draco demanded, turning his head.

"Sorry, you just looked like you were going to hex your pudding so I figured-"

"You figured that I needed narration?"

"Well, yeah," she answered with a smile, then returned to her once again serious self. "Actually, I was wanting to talk to you."

Draco groaned, Pansy never just wanted to talk. Normally her idea of talking included begging him to court her until he finally got sick of it and walked out of the room.

"I'm just saying, I think Granger is-" she stopped, looking for the best way to say it without getting herself yelled at. "I think Granger is beyond help."

Draco just stared at her, his face hard.

"I think she needs...Draco I think you need to send her to St. Mungo's. I have seen people come back from Azkaban with more life than she has."

"Yes, let's do that. Should I ask that she get side by side rooms with my father, for convenience and all." Draco answered, looking back down at his pudding. Gently he feels Pansy's hand touch his thigh with concern.

"Is this about Granger or the baby?" His mind races, if only he knew the answer himself. He had wanted forgiveness a week after it had happened, the morning after it happened when Bellatrix skipped into the Drawing Room for breakfast, the biggest of grins on her face. She announced proudly that she was sure she had hit someone with the dagger and that maybe it was Potter, causing Draco once again to run out of the room to throw up what little food he had just eaten. Picking up his head, Draco looked over at Potter and Weasley walking out of the Hall to go eat. If the dagger hadn't hit them, then who had it hit? he wondered, before realizing he already had a question to answer.

"That's none of your concern, Pansy!" With that, Draco stood up. "And since when do you even care?" Before Pansy can answer, Draco stormed out of the room. He didn't need an answer from her, he already knew it. Fickle Pansy was worried Hermione would take her place beside Draco. The place that, in Draco's mind, Pansy had never really filled.

"I brought you something," Draco whispered, walking into his bedroom. Hermione rolled over in bed, not attempting to get up but simply faced Draco. Since their talk that morning, he had noticed that Hermione moved. She would roll over in bed whenever he spoke to her, rolling back to face the wall once he left. She was attempting to live within the small bedroom.

"You brought me something?" Hermione asked, confused. Draco moved slowly, sitting beside her on the bed. Carefully, he pulls a pudding cup out of his robe. "You need to eat." Sealing her lips together, Hermione shakes her head viciously back and forth. "Yes, you do," Draco chided.

Suddenly, Draco threw the pudding cup against the wall, making Hermione jump. "What do you want from me!" He screamed, staring at her. "Do you want me to do this too? To sit in a dark corner and do nothing all day! To not care! To leave our child an orphan like Potter! Is that what you want?"

Slowly Hermione opened her mouth in argument, it being quickly filled with a crumpet.

"Had to get you to eat somehow," Draco smirked, watching Hermione gently take the crumpet out of her mouth, chewing a bite. Closing her eyes, she savors the only bit of food she had eaten in days.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Staring at Draco, Hermione took another bite before shaking her head. "Granger, you're carrying the only chance at changing the Malfoy name. Besides, you're the only woman in this school crazy enough to put a wand in my face and I rather miss that about you."

"Really?" She replied, her voice a little bit lighter. A little more Hermione.

"Don't go making me get mushy Granger, it's not my style," Draco snarled, straightening his robes walking out the door. Hermione looks down at the crumpet, wondering how someone so dark could care about someone like her, how someone like him could be trying so hard to save her.

* * *

At dinner, Draco sat there, staring at his food again. He couldn't help but wonder what he could sneak out in his robes to take back to Hermione. An apple perhaps, she might rather fancy that. Suddenly, he feels Blaise nudging his rib cage.

"Don't you think you've done enough to my ribs, Zabini?"

"Look," Blaise whispered back, staring at the door. Draco turns his head, seeing Ron and Harry walk towards the door just like every other meal, food in hand. Instead of walking straight for the door, they were walking towards none other than Hermione. Draco holds his breath. _She can't be doing this. I need to be beside her when she does this. I need to support her._

"Harry," Hermione looked at him seriously before turning to Ron, "Ron, I need to talk to you about something."

"What are you doing, Granger?" Draco had walked up and whispered in her ear as Harry and Ron glared at him.

"Do you mind, Malfoy?" Harry snarled.

"Not at all Potter, if you don't."

"That's enough!" Hermione screamed, silencing them both "I'm pregnant."

"That's impossible," Ron answers, his face going white.

"Not quite." Hermione flinched with the words, causing Ron to look up at Malfoy who was now grinning ear to ear. _She obviously hasn't told them about the Manor, and from the looks of it all she has no intention to. If you know what's good for you, you'll play_ _along, _Draco told himself.

"You son-of-a-"

"Music to my ears Weasel-bee and I'd love to stay and chat but as you can see I must get going. Have business to attend to, baby names and what-not." Before Ron can say another word, Draco turns around on his heels, walking out the door. Hermione followed not far behind.

"What was that about?" She asked, staring at him.

"I could ask you the same. You go from not hardly moving to confessing our child to Weasley and Potter. And you're walking? You can walk?"

"Yes, I can walk and you made me realize that maybe...maybe I do need to get myself together." Draco stared at her, their eyes meeting. Connecting, for even the briefest of seconds. "For the baby." She throws in, looking down at the ground.

"Right!" Draco answered nervously, "For the baby."


	8. Good Night, Malfoy

**A/N: Remember, reviews are a good thing. Please let me know what you think of the story.**

* * *

Within an hour, the entire school knew what Hermione had told Harry. Ron had gone to his sister in secrecy, spilling everything to her. His love for Hermione, how he had felt betrayed because in his mind, there was only one time that Hermione could have conceived. There was only one time she was alone with Malfoy that she wouldn't yet be showing with pregnancy and that was while she had been dating Ron. Ginny knew her brother wasn't one for showing his emotions so she sat quietly, listening as he told her everything there in the Common Room not knowing that Parvati wasn't really sleeping on the couch behind them. Parvati told Lavender who hadn't been able to keep the information to herself, knowing Ron would once again be running back to her and repeated what she had heard to Fay Dunbar. Fay Dunbar, always being one for gossip, asked Goyle if it was true and then Goyle, while flirting with a group of Hufflepuff girls happened to mention it. Before long, everyone knew of Hermione and Draco's secret 'love affair'. A few members of Hufflepuff found it romantic, Ravenclaw considered it rather hussy and every Syltherin girl envied Hermione for being the apple of their prince's eye.

"I can't believe it," Hermione whispered, sitting on Draco's bed. "Ron and Ginny won't talk to me. Harry is just as confused as everyone else with the rumors surrounding everything. You are the only..."

"The only what?" Draco snapped, leaning against his dresser.

"Never mind."

"If you're saying that I'm the only friend you have, Granger, your wrong. I don't make friends with Gryffindors."

"I know, Malfoy! That's why I stopped myself!" Hermione screamed at him, standing up. _And yo__u don't have to remind me that I'm alone. _

"There we go, that's the Granger I remember," Draco smirked, watching Hermione get angry. He only knew of one way to bring her back, the only way he could ever get her to think of him. He had to make her furious.

"And what have you said when people ask?" Hermione inquired, frustration still in her voice. She knew he didn't tell them the truth. Despite all the rumors she had heard of how her and Draco supposedly used the Room of Requirement for "personal needs", how they had romped in the Shrieking Shack, even going so far as to say the baby had been conceived in Ron's own bed, she had never heard anything even hinting at the truth.

"I tell them to sod off," Draco answered. "They don't need to know." Hermione simply stared at him.

"So, you don't deny it?"

"What's there to deny? You are pregnant. I am the father. I rather don't mind that all the girls are bragging about my abilities."

"I don't know if bragging is the word, but you are definitely being thought of by everyone in the school, not just the girls."

"Don't remind me," Draco snarled, "I'm just ready to graduate."

Suddenly, Hermione's stomach drops with realization. Where was she going to go after graduation? Sure, Molly had promised she could stay there but that was back when she and Ron were seeing each other, back before the entire Weasley clan had turned against her. Harry had his place but he was with Ginny and she wasn't sure she could handle the constant glares.

"What...what are your plans after graduation?" Hermione asked, once again timid.

"Haven't given it much thought, really. Up until about three months ago, I was being promised fame and glory. Not a woman in the world wouldn't want Draco Malfoy. If someone would have told me this was how it would end-" Draco stopped himself, biting his bottom lip,. and faced away from Hermione.

"Would you have done anything different?"

"Not much I could have done, really. What, run away? Join the Order? You and I both know that's rubbish." Hermione nodded. They would have laughed at the thought of Malfoy joining. Hermione nearly fainted when she saw that Snape was in the Order. "There are things I wish I could have changed." Picking up his head from staring at the floor, Draco's eyes met hers, piercing through her body.

"Right, umm...where are you going to stay?"

"Probably with mum. She gets rather lonely without father around." At the thought of Lucius, Hermione's face goes blank. Draco sees the light dim from her eyes as she swallowed hard. "Granger?"

"Sorry, I just..."

"He's gone, Hermione, has a permanent residence at St. Mungo's." Gently, Hermione nodded. "What of you? Where does the world take you after Hogwarts?"

"I don't know," Hermione whispered. "I was going to stay with the Weasleys but that's out of the question now, isn't it?"

Pansy walked up to Draco's room, tapping on the open bedroom door. "Can I come in?" Draco nods, watching Hermione shut herself down again. The light in her eyes dimmed to nearly nothing as the girl who was once her enemy sat down beside her. Draco was starting to catch on; anytime Hermione felt threatened, she would shut down like this, protecting herself. It was defense and Draco couldn't blame her for using it.

"Has she made any progress?" Pansy asked, as if Hermione wasn't even sitting next to her staring off into space.

"Since she announced her pregnancy to Potter and Weasel-breath?" Draco looked at Hermione, her eyes glancing up at him for a second. "Not really."

"Hmmm...could have sworn I heard two people talking in here."

"Must have heard wrong. Granger hasn't said a word since she came back in here. Her brain is Mu-" He caught himself, remembering the promise he silently made to Hermione. "You can leave now."

"Are you sure?" Pansy asked flirtatiously, batting her eyes. "I can keep you company on Blaise's floor."

"OUT, PANSY!" Draco hollered, escorting Pansy to the door. "Can I shut it?" He asked, facing Hermione. Hesitantly, she nods.

"Leave it open a crack," she whispered, "please?"

Draco nodded, leaving the door open just enough that it doesn't latch shut.

"You should sleep, Granger. I'm sure faking your insanity takes a lot out of a person."

"Wait!" Hermione exclaimed, putting her eyes back down quickly.

"What?"

"Can...Can you sleep on the floor in here tonight? My mind..I see her in the dark."

Draco sighed, nodding in understanding. "Do you want the door open?"

"It can stay like that, just a crack." Nodding again, Draco opens the door a little bit more allowing a sliver of light to shine through from the Common Room. Laying down on the floor, he looks up at the girl laying in his bed. Never in his life did Draco think he would have a Muggle-born girl in his bed, let alone one pregnant with his own child.

"Nox." And with that, the lights are out and Draco stares up at the ceiling.

"Good night, Malfoy," he heard Hermione's familiar voice say.

"Good night, Granger."


	9. Potions

"_For the family, Draco." Bellatrix laughed, pushing Draco towards the six-foot deep hole in the ground. He can't help but look at the grave stone above it, the precious granite:  
_

_DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY  
_

_BROUGHT HONOR TO THE FAMILY_

_FOR BREAKING THE MUD-BLOOD  
_

"_You know why they call them Mud-Bloods, don't you, son?" Lucius asked, putting his hand on Draco's shoulder.  
_

_"She didn't bleed mud, father," Draco answered, looking up into his father's cold eyes. "I looked, there was no mud."  
_

_"Oh but she did, her blood was filth," Bellatrix laughed, dancing around Draco's grave site. "Ah ha ha. Got what was coming to her, she did."  
_

_"She didn't deserve that! Nobody does!" Draco screamed back with fury.  
_

_"Don't you see, she is nobody, Draco." His father answered, pushing him another step closer to the grave.  
_

_Draco stared at the grave site, awaiting his fate. It couldn't possibly hurt any worse than this. "Does it hurt?" He asked, taking another step towards the empty hole.  
_

_"No, silly boy." Bellatrix laughed again, "And I can't wait for you to join me."  
_

Jumping, Draco woke up, his body drenched in a cold sweat. Graduatlly, he became aware of his actual surroundings. He was at Hogwarts, safe. Hermione was asleep in his bed as he lay on the carpeted floor. He couldn't help but sigh in relief as he rolled over.

"You couldn't sleep, either," he heard Hermione whisper into the darkness.

"Why are you awake?"

"Why are you?"

"Nightmares," Draco whispered, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest.

"I know the feeling." _It feels good,_ Hermione thinks to herself _to know that you are having these nightmares too. _"What about?"

"Bellatrix. She was trying to get me to join her in death. I saw my grave." Hermione didn't answer, putting Draco on edge. "Are you okay?"

"No," she answered softly, "I'm numb. It's like I'm here but I'm not even living, not breathing. I'm just laying here. How does someone get past this? How does anyone survive and still live, still smile? How do you?"

Draco thought about it. All the evenings he spent losing his dinner over Bellatrix's crap. Whenever she would harass him as a child. Whenever she picked on him at the coming of puberty. Whenever she told him to step up and become a man. He couldn't help but hate his aunt for everything she had done, never once doing anything out of kindness.

"I have realized a long time ago, Granger," Draco whispered back, never turning to face her, "that my aunt feeds on your feelings. The longer you lay in bed pathetic like this, it just shows she is winning," he laid there, waiting through the awkward silence.

"You're right," she whispered. "Good night, Draco."

Draco's heart drops down into his stomach as he hears her whisper his name. Chills run up his back as he waits a moment, staring into the dark.

"Good night," he whispered back, unable to let even her surname leave his lips. As he lay there, he listens until her breathing finally steadies out into a deep slumber. "Sweet dreams, Hermione."

* * *

"Granger, wake up! We have class in twenty minutes!" Hermione heard, opening her eyes gently.

"Malfoy?" She mumbled, half-asleep still. She looked up, seeing him in his Slytherin robes.

"Ugh. Come on, you have missed enough class!"

Moaning she rolled over, covering her head back up with the Slytherin green comforter.

"That's it, Granger!" Draco yelled, pulling the comforter off of her. "Did you not listen to a blasted word I said last night?" The words right through Hermione's head: _The longer you lay in bed pathetic like this, it just shows she is winning._ "Now get your arse out of bed!"

Slowly Hermione starts to move about, stretching before putting her legs over the side of the bed.

"There. Get dressed. Knock on the bathroom door before you walk in, Zabini's a pretty boy and will stay in there all day if you let him. I'll be in the Common Room." Hermione nodded as Draco got ready to walk out of the room. "Oh, and Granger? You have ten minutes."

Draco sat there on the couch, staring into the fire in the fireplace. He couldn't be more nervous as he waited for Hermione to come down. What if she couldn't do this? What if she had a breakdown, a panic attack, in public when someone asked her about the baby? What if it was all too soon? He heard the slight squeak from his bedroom door as it opened up behind him, causing him to turn around. Draco's mouth dropped open as he loses the ability to even think. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen Hermione looking much less than hell since the war or the fact that she had whispered his name in the dark the night before but something about the way she wore the knee length skirt, the way the red and gold tie came up close to her neck, and the way her hair parted so far from perfectly took his breath away. Draco couldn't think as she walked down the stairs, facing him.

"Malfoy?" she asked, staring at him.

"Yea, right. Potions," he answered, both of them walking out of the dungeon.


	10. Do You Love Him?

The entire room went silent as the Slytherin Prince and Gryffindor Princess walked into the Potions classroom together and sat down behind Blaise and Pansy. Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron and waved lightly. Harry smiled back with a gentle wave as Ron turned his head the other direction.

"You got her out of bed?" Pansy whispered, leaning back.

"Yeah," Draco answered, not really paying attention to her.

"It's good to see you, hun." Pansy smiled, setting her hand softly on Hermione's.

"Thanks," Hermione answered, confused by the difference in attitude. Last night Pansy was offering herself to Draco and today she was acting like Hermione's best friend. "It's quite strange actually, being in class again."

Just then, the new professor walked in causing Hermione to straighten up in her seat, paying close attention to every word the professor says.

"We will be reviewing Draught of Peace today, making sure all of you know how the potion is properly brewed." Draco caught the professor's words as he looked at the girl sitting beside him. "Make sure to pay close attention while brewing, a poor batch of this brew can be deadly."

"The Draught of Peace," Draco whispered in Hermione's ear, sending chills up her back, "relieves agitation and anxiety."

"Maybe you should sneak a batch for yourself, save your bedroom the misery of the abuse," Blaise laughed, nudging Pansy.

"Why, so he can pass out on your floor again?" She joked, grinning from ear to ear. Hermione watched as the group teased each other through the potion brewing. Maybe they weren't as dark as she had assumed. They were friends, witches and wizards. The only difference being that they cared of their blood status, as to where her, Ron, and Harry hadn't. She couldn't help but glance over at them, watching Ron put too much Valerian root in there. _It's going to cement on you__ Ron, just like it always does. _

"Granger, grind the porcupine quills to a powder," Draco said, bringing Hermione back to earth.

"Right, sorry," she answered, grinding the quills.

"We are to add a tablespoon of the powdered unicorn horn, Malfoy, not a teaspoon."

"Watch and see, Granger, I was taught potions by the best of teachers."

"He was my teacher, too," she barked back, frustrated at his inability to listen. Draco grabs Hermione by the arm, pulling her close enough that no one else can hear him.

"And you think the Death Eaters didn't have agitation? I can do this potion in my sleep, Granger. Don't doubt me."

"But-"

"But nothing. A tablespoon makes the potion, but if you simply use a teaspoon not only are you saving some ingredients for another potion, but you are taking the edge off. It's not nearly as obvious that the person taking the potion is no longer on edge, it's a gentle glide away from the agitation."

Hermione thinks about what Draco said as he slowly dusted the unicorn horn along the top of the pot, stirring it slowly. She watched as lowered the temperature, feeling the side of the cauldron and then adds the final ingredient.

"Very impressive, Mr. Finnegan, it looks like you have finally mastered this potion. Looks like Dean has been very effective at teaching you the measurements. Very nice, ladies, but if Miss Brown would pay more attention to her potion and less to Mr. Weasley she would realize that she forgot to grind the unicorn horn. Could use a little less Valerian root, Mr. Weasley, but I am to expect that with you and Mr. Potter working together." Suddenly, the professor stopped in front of Draco and Hermione's table, their cauldron filled with a glistening blue. "Fantastic, Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger, way to master the potion." Draco smirked, causing Hermione to blush.

"I think I deserve an apology."

"Fine, you were right."

"You owe me something. For trying to ruin my potion, Gryffindor."

Hermione can't help but laugh, "And what would that be?"

"Sit with me at lunch. It gets rather lonely over there."

Hermione turned, looking at Harry and Ron. They were both staring at the concrete mixture bubbling in their cauldron. "Fine, but no funny business."

"I'm hurt, Granger," he answered sarcastically, putting his hand up to his chest. "After everything I've done for you?"

"Fine. Lunch." Hermione answered, shaking her head at him.

The Slytherin lunch table sat about the same as the Gryffindor. There was gossip and laughing, teasing and serious discussions. Girls sat together, snickering and flirting at the sight of their latest crush while boys talked of Quidditch and home. Hermione imagined her entire time at Hogwarts that the Slytherin table did nothing more than bash anyone less than a pure-blood but as she sat there she realized it was really only a difference of house.

Pansy sat across the table from Draco, next to Blaise, leaving her usual spot available for Hermione. As Hermione sat down she realized that despite all the other conversations going on around them and his usual snippy comments, Draco simply sat there staring off into space over his lunch.

"Malfoy?" She whispered, leaning in close to him.

"What?" he asked, his voice monotone.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

"Draco never really talks during meals. He just kinda stares off into space and thinks. It's been that way since we first came here," Pansy butts in.

"But if you must know, Granger," he answered, "I was trying to think of how I would tell my mother."

"How you was planning on telling your mother? I don't understand."

"Of her first grandchild."

"Oh. Right," Hermione answered, her face falling. "Do you think she will be upset?" Blaise coughed on his lunch at the thought.

"Yes, Granger, I think she will be a little unease at the thought of her son impregnating anyone less than a pure-blood, but what can she do?"

"Hermione?" Harry asked, standing behind Pansy. Hermione hadn't even seen him walk up to the table because she was preoccupied with the conversation at hand. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Sure, Harry," Hermione answered, standing up and following him out of the Hall.

"I don't trust him," Draco snarled, looking at the closed door out which Hermione had just walked.

"Hermione, you realize that's Draco Malfoy in there right?" Harry asked as soon as the door to the Great Hall closed.

"Yes, Harry! I realize that!" Hermione barked back.

"So, why didn't you tell me?" The look in Harry's eyes told her he was sincerely hurt. She couldn't tell him the truth, he would walk back in there and hex Draco...possibly even kill him. Taking a deep breath, Hermione braced herself for the yelling.

"You would have told Ron," she answered, "I couldn't crush Ron like that." She wasn't lying, and Harry could see that. If she would have told him about the Manor, Ron would have known too. The three of them didn't keep secrets. The moment Ron found out, he would have been sick. He wasn't one to handle harsh emotions and seeing Hermione break down like that would have killed him.

"Do you love him?"

"What!"

"Do you love Malfoy?"

"First off, I don't see how that's any of your concern, Harry. Second, I think the fact that I am pregnant with his child says enough!"

"Did you love Ron?"

Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes as she thought of their first kiss, of how she held him while he cried over Fred's body at the funeral. She thought of the first time she had the nerve to sneak past Molly's room and climb into bed with Ron, how she jerked away crying whenever he started to lift her shirt so they sat up and talked all night never mentioning the setback.

"It don't matter, Harry. I am with Malfoy now."

"You can't even call him Draco. How can you love someone you still call by their last name?"

"I never said that I love him, you did. Besides, we are a family now. Me, him, and the baby. Now are you going to be a friend to me through this or not?" She stared at Harry, waiting for him to walk out of her life as Ron and Ginny already had. Instead he took a step towards her, wrapping her in his arms.

"You'll always be my best friend 'Mione. Congratulations," he said, even attempting a smile for her. How had he known it was just what she needed to hear? A tear streamed down Hermione's cheek as she heard someone finally congratulate her on the pregnancy.

"Thank you," she whispered, hugging him back.

Walking back into the Hall, Harry and Hermione went their separate directions. Harry sat at the Gryffindor table next to Ron while Hermione sat down next to Draco.

"What did Potter want?" Draco asked, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

_To ask if I loved you. _"To congratulate us on our family," she answered, looking across the Hall at her friend and deep down inside, Hermione finally felt an ounce of warmth.


	11. Meeting Mrs Malfoy

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. I am so glad you are enjoying the story. Please continue to R&R.**

* * *

"Why aren't you doing anything?" Blaise asked, staring down at his Potions book. "You can make her pain stop."

Draco looked across the room at Hermione, who was watching Flora and Hestia play wizards chess with the greatest of boredom. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her face go deeper and deeper into her hand as she leaned over, resting all of her weight on her elbow.

"I think if I do anything now, whenever it wears off she will go back to-"

"Zombie mode?" Blaise asked, earning himself a glare.

"No, you prat. But she will shut down again and I can't have her shut down."

"So what _are_ you going to do?"

Draco sighed softly, "I'm going to take her to meet my mum."

"You're what!" Blaise, although best friends with Draco, had only met Narcissa once, before the war had gone full-fledged. A very quiet, proper woman she was and she intimidated Blaise tremendously. He couldn't imagine someone else, a Muggle-born, meeting that woman and being any less intimidated, any less afraid as Narcissa looked down on them, as she had looked down on Blaise, as nothing more than a pawn in a game of wizards chess. "Are you sure she's ready for that? Your mum is...well..."

"Is what?" Draco asked, his voice monotone.

"Well, she's slightly intimidating. I don't know if that's what Hermione needs right now."

"Perhaps you're right Blaise." Draco answered sincerely, causing Blaise to sigh with relief. "Or perhaps it's exactly what she needs. Look at her." Blaise looked at Hermione, still bored out of her mind watching the two girls. "She is eating, going to class. What Granger needs is motivation to get out of bed. I'm simply fulfilling her needs."

"You are?"

"Not like that, you imbecile. We haven't done anything."

"And yet she's pregnant?" Blaise answered, earning himself another glare.

"You know what I mean. She sleeps in the bed, I sleep on the floor. We are content. What about you and her?" Draco asked, looking in the direction of Pansy, who was staring out the window on the other side of the room, deep in thought.

"What about us?"

"You can hide it from every other Slytherin, but not every other Slytherin shares a bathroom with you. I hear her moving around in there in the middle of the night."

"She's upset that you're taken. I comfort her."

"Comfort her, eh? Is that what they call it now-a-days?"

"It doesn't matter what they call it, it is what it is. Nothing more."

"So be it," Draco answered, standing up. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You mean you're going to floor?" Blaise teased.

"Shut up."

Draco walked into the bedroom, Hermione not far behind him and he gently shuts the door.

"Is that okay? There is a lot of people awake in there still." He asked, pointing at the door. Gently, Hermione nodded.

"Hestia asked how you were," Hermione whispered as she sat on the bed, her cheeks already flushed with embarrassment.

"How I was?" Draco asked, taking his shoes off. "I don't think I understand."

"She asked how you..." Hermione's face turned even redder at the thought as she turned her head away from him "Performed."

"Oh," Draco smirks, "Is that why you were so red over there?" Hermione nodded again, still not facing him. "And what did you say?"

Quickly, she sat up straight, flustered at the thought that he would even ask her that. "That it is none of their concern and that it was rubbish to be asking one such vile questions. To think...Ugh." She trembled with disgust at the thought of discussing anything sexual with the twins.

"You are such a prude, Granger," Draco sneered, teasing. "How did you and Weasley ever-"

"We didn't," Hermione answered quickly with disgust and a hint of anger in her voice.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, sorry," Draco answered before walking into the bathroom with a pair of Slytherin pajamas. Shutting the door behind him, Hermione quickly changed into her own pajamas, a silky red two piece set with gold around the wrists and ankles and climbed under the covers of the Slytherin bed. She listened as he walks out of the bathroom and whispered the word "Nox."

"Good night, Draco," she whispered, causing his stomach to drop once again. He couldn't understand how a word as simple as his name could make him feel so different. Could send chills up his spine and a want into his groin.

"Good night, Granger." He answered, "Sweet dreams."

_"I said 'Close your mind,'" The dull, monotone voice demands as he sits in the chair._

_"I am trying to. It's not that easy." Draco screamed back, into the darkness._

_"So make it easy. Do you think that Bellatrix cares what is easy? That the Dark Lord cares what is easy? Do it." Draco watches as the professor paces back and forth in front of him. He had begged Snape to do this, to teach him and although on edge about the thought of it at first, Severus finally agreed. "LEGILIMENS!"  
_

_Draco grabbed his head in pain as Snape searched through his mind. He had tried to close it but it seemed to not be enough against the dark wizard. He saw everything, searching and probing through Draco's mind. He saw the young boy, a mere six, crying as he listened to his parents arguing in the other room. He saw the look on the blonde's face as he got his already expected acceptance letter from Hogwarts. He even saw as Draco stomped down, breaking Harry's nose.  
_

_"Miss Granger has a right hook on her," the professor sneered nastily, watching Draco breathe heavy, still holding his head.  
_

_"That's private!" Draco yelled, standing up. He didn't care that Snape had seen him cry or the fact that he had seen Draco crush a classmate's nose, he had seen something as sacred as Granger.  
_

_"Then keep it that way. Close your mind."  
_

Draco jolts awake. The training was painful, excruciating even. They had spent hours trying to get everything mastered, trying to teach Draco how to fully close everything off and every time he failed, the emotions were overwhelming. Laying there he takes deep breaths, trying to focus on the here and now. Trying not to think about the war, about his old friend, Draco rolled over gently, falling back to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Draco side-by-side Apparated with Hermione into the courtyard behind the Manor. In the daylight it was a beautiful building, breath-taking. Hermione had dreamed as a young girl of houses like this, of mansions that had a hundred rooms with their own courtyard in the back and a water fountain. Never did she imagine that a place like this existed in anywhere but the movies until that horrible night. Never did she imagine she would see a Manor such as the ones in The Secret Garden or her mother's romance novels. Places like this simply didn't exist. Draco felt her tense up, her arm still wrapped around his.

"It's okay," he whispered, patting her arm. "You're safe now."

"It doesn't even look like the same house," Hermione whispered softly, a choke in her voice.

"It doesn't. Are you ready to go in?" Gently Hermione nodded as Draco put his hand on the back door, opening it gently. "Mum."

"Is that you, Draco?" Hermione heard Narcissa call in a soft, nearly peaceful voice. She had never paid attention to Narcissa voice before now, but it did sound quite motherly, caring.

"Yes, Mum," Draco answered, standing up straight.

"Oh, Draco," Narcissa called, running into the room. "I wasn't expecting you. Is there a reason you're home from school?" Her dress went down to her ankles, a very formal, flowing dress even for a witch and her hair was down, framing perfectly around her face. "I have missed you so. I have been so worried about you."

"I am fine. Mum, this is Hermione Granger. Hermione, this is-" Suddenly, Narcissa dropped the motherly figure, standing up straight.

"Narcissa Malfoy," she said to Hermione before looking at Draco, "she looks familiar, son."

"She's-" Draco stopped himself, unsure of how to present their situation to his mother. "She's a friend of Potter's."

Narcissa's face went white with realization as she pieces together how she knew Miss Granger. "My apologies," she whispered, softening up once again. "I didn't realize you and Draco knew of each other during the war. It was a detail he had failed to mention." Draco flinched at what his mother had said, realizing that he had in fact left out some important details that his mother would quiz him on later.

"We were students together." Hermione barked with disgust, "Of course we knew each other and what would it matter if we didn't? It wouldn't make what happened any more okay."

Draco bit his tongue, watching the once-again feisty Hermione Granger snap. He knew this trip would be healthy for her but he wasn't expecting her to come out of her shell so quickly.

"Once again, my apologies, Miss Granger. But the war took its toll on all parties and Bellatrix had a very-" Narcissa stopped, considering her words before finishing her sentence, "-demented way of seeing things. Once she got an idea in her mind, crossing her path was deadly. My son did what he could to survive." Despite the fact that Hermione had just yelled at her, Narcissa kept a calm attitude, never losing her elegant demeanor. Hermione couldn't help but feel herself calm down listening to the woman's gentle voice. "Obviously, you have forgiven him, otherwise Draco wouldn't be telling me I needed to meet you."

"I have," Hermione answered, looking over at Draco. "Malfoy was there when I had no one."

"That sounds like my Draco," Narcissa answered softly but with pride. Hermione couldn't help but wonder who this person was that Narcissa thought Draco to be. The Draco she had known for the past seven years wouldn't think twice of making someone cry, of teasing someone when they were already at their lowest and yet here Narcissa was, saying that it sounded just like the pompous twit to be there for someone when they needed a friend. Was Draco really that different once he stepped foot in the Malfoy Manor. "So come, let's sit for tea and we can discuss what brings you here, Miss Granger."

Walking in front of Hermione and Draco, she led them into a small room with floor to ceiling windows all the way around, exposing sunlight to the plants that run along the walls of the room. In the middle of the room, Hermione saw a round, glass-top table already prepared for tea for the three of them.

"Sit," Narcissa whispered, her voice angelic but demanding all the same. Hermione sat down at one of the chairs, Draco following her. "Now what were you wanting to tell me, Draco?"

Draco took a deep breath before answering, "Granger was the one we tortured for information, Mum. It was during that time we had Potter."

"Yes," answered Narcissa softly.

"And now," Draco took another deep breath, thought it didn't steady him at all. Hermione watches as Draco bit his bottom lip, contemplating on how to explain their situation. Gently she reached over, setting her hand softly on Draco's. Looking down, he took another deep breath before making his announcement. "We are expecting."

"My Draco is going to be a father?" Narcissa said, clutching a hand to her bosom. "But you are just a boy yourself."

"And it's time I step up and become a man."

A single tear rolls down Narcissa's cheek, the only time in his entire life Draco had ever seen her cry. She looked over at Hermione,"That would put you at-" she stopped, doing the math in her head. "Three months?"

"Yes ma'am," Hermione answered, softly sipping her tea.

"My son is going to be a father. My Draco?" Draco softly nodded his head, looking down with shame. "You will join us here, Hermione," she replied, taking even Draco off guard. "You are family now, a Malfoy. You have Malfoy in your veins and you are to live at the Manor with us."

Tears streamed down Hermione's cheeks as she thought about what the woman who she had once considered evil just told her. She was a part of the family to them. "But I'm...I'm...I'm Muggle-born," is all Hermione can answer.

Narcissa looked at her son, her only son. She had wanted more children, siblings for their son, and they had tried for years after Draco was born, never getting anything more than broken dreams. "Is this what you want? This family?"

Draco ;icked up his eyes, staring at Hermione. "I want to make everything right, he whispered, barely audibly.

"Then we have a half-blood Malfoy," Narcissa answered, drinking her tea. "Your father will hear of this, but I don't think he has much say-so in the matter. He has no one to blame but himself for involving you in that war."

* * *

"Your mum has changed," Hermione whispered that evening as they prepare for bed at Hogwarts.

"She has," Draco answered. "The war tore us apart, my father especially. Mum didn't really know how to handle much of everything after it all. I think she just wants to know she has family somewhere, to keep what little there is together."

"Did you mean it? When you said you wanted me to stay there with you?" Draco gently nodded, not having time to think before Hermione's arms are tightly wrapped around his neck. "Thank you," she whispered into his hair.

"Go to bed, Granger," he whispered back, before leading her to the bed and tucking her in nad laying down on the floor. "Sweet Dreams."


	12. Rock and a Hard Place

**A/N: Thank you to Rae Carson for the courage to continue on with this story. It is not an easy topic to write on but you have been a great friend through it all, keeping my head high through an emotional story such as this. You are an amazing friend and co-writer.**

**Keep the reviews coming, everyone. I appreciate your feedback.**

* * *

_Sweat poured off Hermione's body. She screamed in pain as the Healer tells her to push. Draco stood beside her bedside not saying a word. He couldn't say anything. All he could do is stare at her in shock, in fear. Draco's face is white and emotionless as he watches the Healer tell Hermione to push._

_An infant's cry fills the room as Hermione sighs heavily, glad to be done with the excruciating pain. Draco walked over and cuts the cord, still in shock from watching Hermione give birth._

_"It's a girl, Miss Granger. Would you like to hold your daughter?" Softly Hermione nodded, the doctor setting the swaddled baby in her arms. Hermione held her breath, tears falling down her cheeks as she faces none other than Bellatrix herself. The baby smiles up at Hermione, teeth rotting away and black._

_"He he he. Mummy is going to love me. Do I make you weak, Mummy? Did I break you?"_

* * *

Draco grabbed Hermione, holding her in his arms as she screamed out from the nightmare. Sobbing, she can't hardly breathe as she imagines Bellatrix's face on her baby, laughing at her. Taunting her.

"It's okay, Granger," he soothed, trying to get her screaming to stop. "It's okay. You're safe." Draco had been in a deep sleep, the first sleep he had had in a while without nightmares when he had been awoken by Hermione's blood-curdling screams. Waking up instantly, Draco had grabbed her, holding her close to his chest as his mum had when he was a child, petting her hair down until the screams stopped. "Are you done?"

Hermione nodded softly, burying her face into Draco's bicep. She had been comforted like this by Ron hundreds of times. Whenever his shaky hands would go too far, resurfacing Hermione's memories, he would hold her until the tears ceased. Whenever she would fall asleep on his bed reading a book and wake up screaming, Ron was there to hold her, brushing her hair away from her face as he kissed her forehead.

Hermione had learned to realize she fit in Ron's arms perfectly, her head resting gently in his bicep as she listened to his heartbeat, it calming her into realizing they were both still alive. That she had to stay alive. Now she lay in Draco's arms, his defined muscles leaving his arms hard. Laying in the damp dungeon leaving his arms cold and clammy, was exactly how Hermione had always imagined Draco's embrace to feel. Gently, Draco brushes Hermione's frizzed hair out of her face.

"You should go back to sleep," he whispered, laying Hermione's head on the pillow.

"I can't," she whispered back, shivering as she pictures Bellatrix in her mind. Reaching down, Draco pulled the emerald sheets up over Hermione, draping them down over her chest.

"Shhh…" Draco whispered, leaning in close. "I said sleep, Granger." Something about the way Draco's words whisper into Hermione's ear sooth her, allowing her to once again relax. "I'm here. You are safe."

Draco watched Hermione as her eyes grow heavy, as she fights the sleep that is trying to overcome her. He sat there on the edge of the bed as she finally gave in to sleep, her breathing evening out. He spent the rest of the night sitting at the bedside, waiting for her to wake up again screaming. She never did and in the morning before she woke, he simply walked out into the Common Room, his eyes bloodshot.

* * *

"Are you just going to let her walk in and out of there?" The Potions professor, a spiteful petite man, asked. He watched Hermione leave the Slytherin Common Room. "She is a Gryffindor. She is to interact with Gryffindors."

McGonagall sighed. This new professor was a nuisance, butting into conversations and affairs that were not to be mingled with.

"Miss Granger has been faced with some troubling circumstances." Even she did not know the extent of Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger's relationship and as rumors held little truth behind them, she assumed few of them were true. She could overlook this one student, for the sake of the student. Miss Granger was going to class again, was acting as a student again. Whatever Mr. Malfoy was doing was working and she was not going to intervene. "I think we can make an exception this once and as Head Mistress, I suggest you respect my decision."

Snarling his nose, the Potions professor stomped off. Watching him huff away, Headmistress McGonagall can't help but miss her colleague Professor Snape. At least Snape knew what affairs were to be meddled with and which ones to butt out of.

* * *

Hermione sighed as she faced the Gryffindor door. "Bravery," She whispered, closing her eyes as the door opens. She always had found the Gryffindor Common Room beautiful, from the way the red and gold tapestries draped off the walls to the portrait of the lion that sat above the fireplace.

Not uncommon for a Monday morning, the Common Room stood empty or so Hermione thought. Walking around the couch she saw Harry laying there, staring at the fire in the fireplace. Jumping at the thought of someone else being in there even if it was only Hermione, Harry sat up quickly, putting his hands between his knees like a school boy who had just been scolded.

"Hey," Harry whispered, a forced grin on his face.

"Hey," Hermione answered, sitting next to him. "Why aren't you in class?"

"Sometimes you just need a break. I wanted to do some thinking."

"About what?" Hermione asked.

Harry sighed. She couldn't just take an answer like Ron did. Hermione was always one for more information, more details. Ron would have simply said 'Ok' and walked out of the room. "It doesn't make sense, Mione. You hated Malfoy. You hated him, and now," Harry stopped, thinking about how to put what he is trying to say. "Now this?"

Hermione knew Harry deserved the truth. Probably more than anyone, Harry deserved the truth. So she started from the beginning, explaining everything to him. Repeating every couple of sentences to him that he is to tell no one. It was during these pauses that Harry would simply nod his head. Just when she is about to tell Harry of her and Draco's second kiss, the last moment before Draco blocked himself off from any emotional ties, she broke down in tears. Harry wrapped his arms around her, comforting his old friend.

"It's okay, Hermione," he whispered, pushing her head into his chest as she sobbed. His arms were strong like Draco's, but warm like Ron's. That's when Hermione made the connection. Harry was her rock. He was the strength in Hermione's life, the one thing that stayed constant when all the rest of her life shifted and fell apart.

Harry was the only thing that Hermione knew, no matter what, would never change despite how much even she did. Tears streaming down her face, Hermione stopped thinking as she grabbed Harry, pressing her lips tightly against his.

Caught completely off guard, Harry fell back onto the couch. Hermione, still in his arms, fell on top of him, never letting go of the kiss. Seductively, she did things she had only read about in romance novels: biting Harry's bottom lip, exploring his mouth with her tongue. Harry, unsure of what to do, simply lay there allowing Hermione to let it all out. He couldn't hide the blush in his cheeks nor could he hide the involuntary excitement that came to him and urged Hermione on.

"What the hell!" He heard a familiar voice scream as Ginny came stomping into the Common Room, his heart sinking into his gut. "Chiroptera Mucosa!" Ginny screamed the Bat Bogey hex, causing Hermione to fly off the couch, and hit her head on the coffee table beside it.

Harry stood up, the bulge in his pants not helping his argument as he tells Ginny of how he didn't mean for anything to happen.


	13. Pugs and Swine

"Mind my asking what the hell you were thinking?" Pansy whispered as she fiddled with a quill. When the rumors started spreading again of Hermione and Harry nearly shagging in the Gryffindor Common Room, Pansy knew Hermione was going to need someone to talk to. She also knew precisely where to find Hermione, who now wouldn't even pick her head up out of the book she was reading. "Granger?"

Hermione shrugged, unsure herself of why she did it. She really didn't have a reason. After kissing Harry, she realized she didn't have feelings for him…but she did know she wanted security. She needed a more dominant, more permanent rock in her life. It was a role that neither Ron nor Draco happened to fill.

"Well, can you at least tell me if it's true? Were you snogging Harry?" Hermione looked down, away from her book. Her head still pounded from the blow she had taken to her temple from the coffee table. Like a child who had just been asked why they had broken a vase or hit their sibling, Hermione's face fills with shame.

"I see," Pansy said, folding her arms. "So let me get this straight: you were dating 'The Quidditch King', who you cheated on with 'The Slytherin Prince', who you are now sharing a bedroom with while snogging 'The-Chosen-One'?"

Hermione can't hold back her snicker as she listened to how silly it sounded coming out of someone else's mouth, especially Pansy's. Pansy smiled at the thought of finally getting some kind of emotion out of Hermione.

"Does Draco know?" Hermione whispered, ashamed.

"Well, if he doesn't now, he will by the time you two curl up in bed together. It's spreading like wildfire. I just wanted to be the first one you talked to about it." Hermione nodded, thankful for having at least one friend even if it was the last person she thought she would ever befriend. Finally, curiosity got the best of Pansy. She had to ask the question that had been on her mind ever since she had first heard the news. "So, how was it?"

"It was quite one-sided, actually." Hermione whispered, knowing that Pansy wasn't going to go around gossiping as the Currow twins would have.

"You attacked him?" Pansy asks a little louder than she had planned, grinning ear to ear.

"Well, not quite." Hermione answered, looking around everywhere but at Pansy. "It just wasn't mutual."

"You attacked him," Pansy repeated, more of a statement this time.

"Ok, fine, I attacked him." Hermione laughed in spite of herself.

"I don't see what's so funny about it," Ron sneered, walking out from behind a row of books. Pansy glares at him as Hermione turns around. "If you're needing a new snogging buddy, Hermione, I'm sure Neville is happy in his relationship. Although Luna may not give you the response you were wanting."

"Ron, it's not like tha-" Hermione tried to plead.

"Oh, it's not like that. Then it's simply the Weasleys you are trying to make unhappy. Well in that case, I'm pretty sure Angelina can take you and Bill wouldn't give you the time of day unless you breathe fire. That leaves you with Percy. Good luck with that one, don't think he's ever really looked at a girl." Tears streamed down Hermione's face as she hears her once-best-friend spit the angry words at her.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" Pansy snarled, standing up in Hermione's defense. "Like eating slop you disgusting, swine?"

"And what do you care?"

"I care because Hermione's my friend," Pansy screamed, grabbing her wand just in case things got ugly.

"You're friends with a pug?" Ron asked, looking down at Hermione who is now crying.

"Better than mating with a pig," Pansy answered. "Come on hun, let's go." Walking around the table, Pansy grabbed Hermione by the arm, leading her off out of the library.

"Why did you do that?" Hermione asks as soon as they get back out into the hallway. "I betrayed Draco, I may as well just wear a scarlet letter around Hogwarts."

"A what?" Pansy asked, confused.

"Never mind. Why did you do it when I betrayed Draco?"

"The difference between Slytherin and Gryffindor is simple," Pansy replied, staring her down. "You, as a Gryffindor, see it as betrayal to hurt someone. In Slytherin, we do what we have to in order to survive. We don't ask questions on why someone does something and we don't judge them for it, they are simply surviving. I can't question why Draco took the Dark Mark, he was surviving. Just like I can't question why you kissed Potter, you were surviving."

Hermione nodded, understanding. Over half of the Slytherin students had at least one family member as a Death Eater, an eighth of them had both parents working for the Dark Lord during the war. Needless to say, post war wasn't easy on their families. "So, that's how you see it? That I'm surviving?"

Gently Pansy nodded, leaving the conversation at that. "Isn't that what we are all trying to do?"

* * *

"We need to talk," Harry demanded, staring down at Draco in the Great Hall. Draco was the only one currently sitting at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. He had been sitting there staring off into space ever since the rumor had gotten back around to him.

"I don't think there is much to talk about, Potter." Draco snarled.

"I do," Harry answered, sitting down. "Hermione told me everything."

Draco sighed. Just what he needed, the entire school knowing he had forced himself on Hermione. "And?"

"And your secret is safe with me, for Hermione's sake. Just tell me why?"

"For survival. Bellatrix would have tortured her until she was dead. She would have killed me for not doing it," Draco sighed, the familiar pain returning to him as he thought of the horrible thing he had done. The unforgivable pain he had brought on Hermione.

"You did it to save Hermione?"

"Wouldn't you have?"

Harry thinks about it. No, he wouldn't. He would have killed Bellatrix before she even had the chance to hurt Hermione. He would have stopped her. He would have done whatever he could, even if it killed him to keep Hermione safe. But in Draco's case, that was what kept Hermione safe. That was the only out Draco had seen. "And what would you have done if after you were finished, she killed Hermione anyway?"

"How many people have you watched my aunt torture, Potter? Don't act like you understand. I saved Hermione's life by doing that to her. You don't have to agree with what I did. I couldn't care less either way but I saved Hermione and when you couldn't, I brought her back to life." Draco stood up, getting ready to walk out of the Great Hall. "Don't think you can diminish me for that."

* * *

Walking out of the Great Hall, Draco felt like his chest was constricting. He had to get away, knowing that no one would understand why. That no one would understand how he could do such a horrible thing to save someone else's life. In an attempt to get away, to find a place where no one could find him, Draco broke into a full-fledged bolt, running down one hall and into another. Hallway after hallway he ran, trying to find a secluded space where he could just escape. Going around a corner, the rock wall blocking his view of the other hall he was dashing into, Draco ran face first into the last person he wanted to see, both of them falling backwards on the ground. He watched as Hermione rubbed her head, it still aching from the blow she had taken earlier that morning.

"Granger, I'm...I'm sorry," he stuttered, standing up and brushing himself off. Grabbing Hermione's hand, he helped her back up onto her feet before sitting on the window sill not far from where they had crashed.

"So am I," Hermione answered, referring to her snogging with Harry. Gently she sits down next to Draco and looks out the window, waiting for him to jump up and leave. "I...I can find somewhere else to stay tonight."

The thought of Hermione being out of his sight overnight left Draco uneasy. He had to be there, to protect her from the nightmares he had caused. "No."

"What do you mean no? I can do whatever I like, Draco. We're not even in a relationship. Besides, you don't own me."

"I'm not saying I do, I'm saying—" He stopped, thinking about what he was trying to say. "Dammit, Granger."

"What?" Hermione snapped. "Are you upset that someone else isn't playing the game according to Draco?"

"No!" Draco hollered, causing Hermione to jump. "I thought I knew the game! I knew the game and I played it well!" Fear struck Hermione's core as Draco continued to scream. "And then you came along and you hit me. You bloody broke my nose, Granger! Pansy had to fix my broken nose and I couldn't even tell her how I broke it! You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like a Muggle-Born would be!" Tears began to stream down Hermione's face as she remembers running for her life, running until her chest hurt just to get caught in the end. Draco's voice goes quiet as he stares Hermione in the eyes, wiping a tear away from her cheek. "I was good at the game and then you showed up that day and changed all the rules."

Gently, Draco placed his lips on Hermione's, his kiss nothing like the embrace he had given her in the wee hours of that morning. Although his embrace was hard and cold, his kiss sends chills down Hermione's spine. She had never, in a million years, imagined that Draco could do something so gentle, so loving.

"Stay with me tonight," Draco whispered, "I need you there just as much as you need me." Hermione nodded, agreeing to stay for Draco's sake.

"I am going to see the Healer tomorrow. You should come," Hermione whispered, biting her bottom lip.

"I think I would like that, Granger."


	14. The Flower In The Rubble

**A/N: This author's note is specifically to warn about further mature content ahead. If reading about self-mutilation or alcoholic drinking triggers bad memories for you, and you are unable to handle those memories, please do not continue further. You have been warned.**

* * *

"So, let me get this straight?" Blaise asked, staring at Draco sitting on his bedroom floor. "You found out she was snogging Potter so you _kissed _her? Is that what I'm getting out of all this?"

"Well, you know girls. They can't help themselves, even if it is-" Draco stopped, snarling his nose as if the name left a bitter taste in his mouth "-Potter. Besides, I know where she's going to be sleeping tonight. Potter can snog her all day for all I care, there is nothing there."

Blaise couldn't help but smirk at his friend. "So that's it?"

"She won't be doing it again, not after my kiss." Draco sneered with pride. "I've satisfied her needs."

Blaise shook his head, still smirking. "Satisfied her needs, huh?"

"Speaking of satisfying needs...Pansy?"

"It's nothing Draco, drop it."

"Right. Got it. Nothing three times a week."

Blaise growled under his breath. Why couldn't he share a bathroom with someone less observant, like Goyle or Nott?Instead, he shared a bathroom with the most perceptive student Slytherin had to offer. The only Slytherin that could tell the difference between Blaise's footsteps and Pansy's.

"So are you sleeping in your own bed yet?" Blaise couldn't help but ask out of sheer curiosity. He knew they weren't messing around, Draco had made that much clear, but Blaise had never seen him go so far as to be solace for someone, much less for a period of time and definitely not without an ulterior motive.

"Nope, and I probably won't be for a while."

"And you're okay with that?"

"Well, I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Draco snapped, walking out of the room. He was tired of everyone questioning his motives, thinking that he was simply trying to get close to Hermione to hurt her. And now, even so much as his best friend was questioning how Draco could be so caring, so considerate. He knew he couldn't blame them. As Hermione had said, he had always been quite odious in the past but that didn't necessarily mean everything he did had to be selfish. He could, if he had to, be a selfless person but what kind of reputation would that leave him with.

Walking into the Common room, he saw Hermione laying on the couch. He doesn't announce his presence, instead walking around the length of the room watching her. She was humming something that sounded to the tune of a children's lullaby, although not one he recalled his mother ever singing to him. Perhaps a muggle lullaby. He watched from behind her as she had her shirt up the slightest bit, tracing her fingers across her still flat stomach. It was an act so precious, so intimate that he felt as if he were intruding.

Clearing his throat, Draco made his presence known, causing Hermione to yank her shirt down and sit up straight on the couch.

"If we are going to make it to the Healer on time, we need to get going."

Hermione nodded, grabbing her handbag. "We are going to get to see the baby," she mumbled, barely audible to Draco.

"What do you think it is?" he asked, never being good at the sentimental conversations such as this.

"A boy," she answered lightly, a little more comfortable with the conversation. "I think it's a boy."

* * *

"It seems everything is in order. You are three-and-a-half months along, no complications with your blood pressure or heart rate. Do you have any concerns you feel the need to mention?" Softly, Hermione shook her head. "How are you sleeping?"

Draco and Hermione exchanged a glance. "There are nightmares. They keep me up more times than not."

"That is normal with pregnancy, your hormones are full-fledged. Try doing something relaxing before bed to take your mind off of things."

_These dreams are not bloody normal, you idiotic berk. Pregnancy does not cause wretched dreams like she has. Pregnancy does not cause someone to wake up screaming for hours on end. You're a bloody fool. _Draco thought to himself, staring down at Hermione.

"Any abnormal cravings?" Hermione shook her head no. "Any morning sickness?" Hermione shook her head no again.

The Healer goes through a list of questions each one, in Draco's opinion, getting more absurd than the last.

"Have you drank any alcohol while pregnant?" Hermione shook her head no hard this time. "Well then, if the two of you are ready, I think it's time you see your bundle of joy."

Draco grabbed Hermione's hand, which was draped over the table, and tried to smile at her as the Healer runs his wand over the length of Hermione's body, his lips moving a mile a minute with an unrecognizable spell. A picture of the baby shows up, projecting from the Healer's wand onto the wall by Hermione's feet.

"See there," the Healer points, "That is your child." Tears stream down Hermione's face as she looks at the little jelly bean on the wall. Sure, she knew she was pregnant but to actually see her child, their child on the wall. It gave Hermione a reason to survive. This child needed her to survive. Despite the war, Hermione now saw the beautiful flower trying to grow through the rubble. The child that made everything, all her pain and suffering, worth it.

"Are you interested in finding out the sex?" The Healer asked. Hermione looks up at Draco, who nodded his head warily. Draco was in awe at all of this, seeing this seed. It was real, Hermione was pregnant with his child. They were having a baby, whether they liked it or not. "It's a boy." The Healer answered, smiling. "Congratulations Mr and Mrs Granger," the Healer screwed up, assuming their marriage. "You two are having a healthy baby boy."

Draco hadn't heard anything past those first three words. After that, his ears had started burning, the room blurred as the Healer's voice sounded less clear, more underwater. Draco tried focusing on something, on anything. He stared at Hermione's face, trying to make out the details as he felt his skin get cold and clammy. Draco heard one sentence replay in his head as he hit the ground, fainting. _If it's a boy, I'm Lucius raising another Draco._


	15. Dittany and Drunks

Draco watched as Hermione shut the bedroom door after his fainting at the Healer's. She closed herself off from the Slytherin Common room. He had promised her he would walk her to their room, which still felt weird to say seeing as how they weren't even dating, and then told her he had important business to take care of.

"Blaise," he barked, causing Blaise to look up from the overpriced Quidditch catalog he had buried himself in. _The Brooms Of Britain._ Even Draco had to admit, they were insanely overpriced for the same brooms you could buy at Hogsmeade but Blaise couldn't help but enjoy bragging to the ladies on how much he spent on his broom.

"What?" Blaise answerd, licking his finger to turn the page of his catalog. Before Draco can even answer, Blaise is nose deep in the catalog again.

"I'm going out. Keep an eye on Granger."

"Got it, captain." Blaise said, never taking his eyes of the Nimbus 2001. As Draco goes to leave, he hears Blaise's voice behind him. "Tell Aberforth I said hi."

Draco smirked, a smirk that didn't leave his face until he got to the Hog's Head. Blaise understood what Draco felt like he had to do, where Draco had to go, and how much Draco had to drink to get all of this off his mind.

* * *

Draco stumbled off the bar stool, nearly falling on his face had it not been for another wizard grabbing him by the arm, holding him up.

"'et your bloody 'ands off of me." Draco slurs, shoving the wizard away. He was up to his seventh glass of Firewhiskey. He looked at Aberforth, his glass nearly empty. "'Ay 'eadmaster," he hollers, looking at the barkeep. Aberforth shook his head; in the Malfoy boy's drunken stupor he must have thought Aberforth was actually Albus. "'ill me up, buttercup."

"I think you've had enough, son."

"My 'ather'll 'ear about this, 'eadmaster. And then...and then..." Aberforth watched as the boy stumbled back up towards the bar. Perhaps he was getting too old to barkeep, babysitting drunken kids like this. He knew he should have cut the Malfoy off three drinks ago, but he usually held his own while sitting on the bar. He wasn't talking to anybody, for Aberforth to catch a slur in his voice. He was simply staring at his cup. "And den I'll 'ave your job, you idiot."

"I think you need to sit back down," the old barkeep answered, patting the bar by where Draco had been sitting. "Come on back over here." _I'll give you some crackers and sober you back up. _

"If I do, 'an I have another?" Draco asked, swaying back and forth, looking down at his glass.

"Yes," the barkeep lied.

"Otay. One more for daddy Lucy," Draco laughed at his own stupid joke, holding up his glass, as if to give himself a toast.

Even in his drunken state, Draco couldn't help but feel that by having a son, he was becoming his father. He was going to be another Lucius raising another Draco. He was going to be a Death Eater like his father for the rest of his life, a rapist, somebody who took things from others, the way he had taken Hermione. He was going to have these nightmares forever. Hermione would never love a Death Eater. His heart hurt from the thought.

Walking up towards the bar for his promised drink, Draco puts his right foot down in front of his left. Picking his left foot up, the toe of his shoe catches, causing him to fall flat on his face, shattering the glass beside him.

Aberforth ran around from the other side of the bar as the wizard who had caught Draco the first time reached down to pick him up. "Sod off, Muddle," Draco slurred, flinging his arm at the open air.

Suddenly, he looked down at his forearm, where the Dark Mark lay. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he carried the Dark Mark anymore. Everyone in Hogwarts knew from when he and his parents were acquitted. But this time, his arm looked different and it felt amazing. Looking down at his Dark Mark, Draco saw a large gash cutting the bottom of the snake's tail off from the rest of its body, blood running down alongside the snake's severed head.

Draco knew, that even whilst drunk, that he was supposed to be screaming out in pain right now. That he was a child when it came to pain and should be crying that he was going to bleed to death right now, but he didn't. Instead he looked at the blood dripping down his arm and realized...he felt better. It felt like the emotional pain was finally leaving his body, his hurt was leaving his body. Then he heard his father's familiar voice ringing out again: _Because they bleed mud._

That's what he was doing, he was bleeding mud because he was filthy, like his aunt had said. He was filthy and vile and cruel, like Harry had said. He was a disgrace because he couldn't stand his own ground against his aunt and father. And he had hurt Hermione because he wasn't enough of a man to do so. Draco just stares down at the gash, watching the mud...not blood, but mud leave his body and sighs in relief.

After Aberforth patched up Draco's arm, he gave him a handful of crackers, trying to sober him up enough to walk back to the castle.

"How are you now, son?"

Draco nodded, still pretty drunk.

"Good, go on back to Hogwarts. Go to bed."

Draco nodded again, walking out of the bar. He still couldn't see straight, but he could walk and that was important. He stared at the ground, trying to focus on the street as he walked back to the castle. Once inside, he went to his normal drunk routine of walking with his hand on the wall, using it to keep his balance and make him look a little more sober in case he got stopped by a professor. The moment he got inside the Slytherin Common Room, he made a quiet bolt for his bedroom door, needing to throw up before going to bed.

Blaise woke up from his deep slumber to the sound of Draco retching in their bathroom. "UGH," he groaned in disgust, rolling over to the other side, facing away from the bathroom. "Bloody hell, Malfoy, keep it down." Gently he reaches over, wrapping his arm around Pansy, cuddling his face up in her hair.

* * *

Hermione woke up, the dark room greeting her. Rolling over, she debated on whether to get up yet or not until she feels her foot kick something. It was warm with heat, like the body heat of someone who had been sitting in a sauna and it moved whenever she touched it. It seemed to move...on its own? Quickly Hermione jumped out of bed, covering her pajamas with a blanket.

"LUMOS!" She screamed, filling the room with light, revealing a drunken Draco laying beside her in bed. Fuming that Draco would even try sleeping in the same bed as her, she grabs a pillow and starts hitting him with it.

"You pompous, selfish, little ferret! Can't even let me sleep by myself! You arrogant little..."

Draco felt one hit, and then two, and repeatedly felt something hitting his body, although it didn't hurt. Suddenly, he woke up. "What the...? What the hell Granger?" He held his head in his hand, the intense sound assaulting his ears and the light blinding his eyes.

"You sneaked into my bed!"

"I did not!" Draco screamed back. "It's by bed!" Then he groaned. Better not shout.

"No," Hermione answered, "I was sleeping in it."

A half-awake Blaise and Pansy come running in from the bathroom, trying to figure out what all the screaming is about.

"What is going on?" Pansy asked, looking at Hermione who was getting ready to hit Draco again with the pillow.

"He was sleeping with me! In my bed!" Hermione screamed, pointing at Draco. Blaise just puts his head in his hand, trying to hide the sly smile on his face.

"Well of course he was, Hermione. Where do you think Blaise sleeps? On the floor?"

"I'm sorry," Blaise piped in, biting his bottom lip to keep from laughing, "I have to go." With that, he turned around, walking back out of the bedroom towards his own.

Draco, half-drunk and barely awake, glared at Blaise as he walks out of the room. He mentally told himself he was going to hex Blaise into next week for this one as Pansy jumped onto the bed beside him, noticing his bandages.

"Merlin, Draco, what did you do?" Grabbing his arm, Pansy looked at the bandages. "Are you okay?"

Draco looked at Hermione, pulling his arm away from Pansy. "It's nothing." He barked, "I cut myself."

"I have something," Hermione whispered, grabbing her hand bag. She was too busy focusing on Draco's arm to even realize she had been mad at him. Reaching into her bag, she grabbed the same bottle she had used to save Ron, before everything. Draco watched her grab the tiny vial.

"What is that?" Pansy asked, overly concerned.

"It's dittany," Hermione replied, dripping a few drops onto the wound. Draco watched as the cut heals itself closed. He sat there and contemplated the deep gash that had once ran across his arm.

Hermione still looked at him, eyes full of concern. Pansy was nearly beside herself with worry. But as the dittany worked its magic, it all clicks in his mind: _I don't have to feel this pain, I can get rid of the filth in my blood, and with the dittany no one will ever know. Nobody has to _see_ it._


	16. Situational Ethics

**A/N: For all those wondering, I am not making an Emo Draco but (on the other hand) I do feel like everyone handles situations differently and not necessarily in the best of ways. Rape, being a tough subject anyway, emotionally and physically is one that someone can not place a term such as "Emo" on how the victim responds for the simple fact that it is such a traumatizing experience. **

**P.S.**

**I would like to thank the dearest of my friends, the best of friends for telling me of Situational Ethics. Without you, I never would have gotten the courage to leave a horrible situation, even if in the end I still lost everything at least now I am no longer physically hurting.**

* * *

Hermione had made a list of her favorite scents not long after studying Amortentia. Amongst this list were spearmint, freshly mowed grass, and new parchment. Other scents on the list included those such as the smell of early morning dew by the lake, the smell of her mum's perfume, and the smell of Hogwart's Library. That was a comforting smell. In Hermione's mind, the smell of the library put her mind into oasis. This was the one place she could go when she felt wrong. The one place where she could always find answers.

Pansy had gotten her thinking when she brought up the difference between Gryffindors and Slytherins and when Hermione got to thinking the library was where she went. It was where she could go to find any answer to any question she had. Gently she opens a book: _Survival of The Fittest by Matthew B. Lee, _and buries her nose in it.

"Hermione," Pansy whispered, walking up beside her. "I was wondering where you were. You do realize it's almost time for the library to close, right?" The lights in the library were starting to dim down, reminding the students to finish up their studying and check out any remaining books they were wanting.

Hermione gently smiled. "I know." She whispered back, "But I had to read into something." She flips over the cover, showing Pansy the cover of the book.

"What's that about?"

"It's a book about learning how to survive. He is an amazing author and mentioned something about Situational Ethics." Pansy stares at her confused. "It's where depending on this situation, what might be wrong in one scenerio morally is okay in another situation." Hermione thinks back to Malfoy Manor. What Draco did would have been wrong in any other situation at all, but now she had a word for what he did. For how he saved her life. "It explains how the Slytherins responded in the war." She couldn't tell Pansy about the rape. "That you guys, even if it was morally wrong, did what you had to to survive."

Pansy stared at Hermione. "You really read into things, don't you?"

Hermione simply smiled, returning to her book to read more about these situational ethics.

* * *

Draco looked down and the glass. He wasn't supposed to have alcohol in his dormitory and if Hermione knew he did, she would flip but he couldn't help it. He had to escape somehow. She had said something about going to the library, about reading up on some things and Draco knew she wouldn't be back until the library literally kicked her out.

Taking a drink, Draco snarled his face. Firewhiskey tasted horrible warm, as does any alcohol, but at least it was something. Staring at the glass, he thinks of everything, replaying it all in his head. _Of all people, how could Hermione ever care for, ever love the one person who had hurt her in the worst way possible? How could she let go of the fact that he had done something worse than an Unforgivable Curse? That he had done something that if anyone else had done, he would have hexed them and cursed them for being pathetic slimeballs? Gryffindor or not. _

Draco threw the glass across his bedroom, watching it shatter against the wall. It felt good to see the firewhiskey, a light red in color, drip down his wall. It reminded him of...gently he feels a tingle in his arm, where Hermione had used the dittany.

Fuming, Draco started throwing things around the room again, books flying against the wall, bookshelves and his desk being knocked over. _I'm sick of you! _He thought to himself. _You are the most pathetic thing there is in this world. You didn't hurt her, you killed her, and yet she still has to live with it every day. _Reaching up, he tore down the Quidditch poster that he had used as motivation for the past six years off the wall. Tears streamed down Draco's face out of frustration as he tears every blanket off the bed. _I hate you! You are nothing more than Lucius! That is what kind of father you will be! Lucius! _

Finally, Draco couldn't take it anymore. The pain needed to escape and throwing things around simply wasn't working anymore. He had read into Healer's spells and potions, trying to figure out which one would do the job the best, finally settling on the idea that the dittany would be best at getting the job done. Grabbing his wand Draco sighed, sitting down and leaning his back against the bed. He mentally repeats the spell as he holds his wand inches away from the Dark Mark, outlining it with an incision. _I'm sick of you! _He thinks, watching the blood flow from his arm in relief. _I'm sick of you and everything about you! You are pathetic and vile and cruel! You don't deserve to call yourself a man! You don't deserve your son! _

Draco stared at his arm, the blood dripping down against his white skin as he sits there and cries. _This is something that Muggles do to get rid of the pain, not a pure-blood wizard. _Gently, he put his wand on the floor. Closing his eyes for a second, embracing the pain and embracing the relief.

After a few minutes, Draco opened his eyes. Hermione would be returning from the library any minute now. Grabbing the dittany, Draco noticed that his hands are shaking, shaking so bad that the vial slips from his fingers, spilling onto the floor.

"Shit!" Draco screamed, grabbing the bottle and saving the majority of the potion. He would have to make more now, he reminded himself as he poured a few drops on the fresh cuts and watched them heal over, looking as if to be about a week old. Grabbing his wand he quickly reorganized the room, hiding the fact that anything had happened, and then he grabbed a book and laid across the bed, pretending to read.

Walking into the room, Hermione has _Survival of The Fittest_ clenched close to her chest.

"Did you find anything?" Draco asked nonchalantly, not looking up from his own book.

"Yes." Hermione answered, "and I found a really interesting theory."

Draco looked at her, listening intently.


	17. Forgiveness

**A/N: Would like to give a shout-out and hugs to a dear friend, Rae Carson. For without her, I wouldn't still have the courage to write in such a rough time in my own personal life. Also would like to give a shout-out to DJ Vivian for reminding me that even in a storm, there is a ray of light.**

**Sorry to everyone for the delay in the chapters. Will be updating a little more often now.**

* * *

"So," Draco demanded, staring down at the tattered Muggle book in Hermione's hands, "are you trying to tell me that what I did wasn't my fault?"

"Exactly," Hermione answers matter-of-factly. "You were simply you doing what you have always done. You were trying to survive, Draco. You were trying to make it away from the Manor alive."

Draco's stomach dropped at the casual way the explanation fell off of her lips.

"And you think that makes what I did okay? How Muggle are you?" he snarled, frustrated that she could not hate him for what he had done. Instead, she had just openly forgiven him, as easily as she had turned to the chapter of the book that explained everything. The chapter that, upon reading, she immediately marked with a dog-ear in the upper right-hand corner of the page, which simply read:

**Chapter 12**

**Situational Ethics**

_Can the wrong thing be the right thing in the right situation?_

The single question on the page must have been what grabbed her attention, but as Draco felt a slight burn where his gown was pressing against the fresh wound he realized nothing would make this as black and white as the Gryffindor was trying to make it appear.

"I'm not saying that what you did was okay." Hermione replied, "I'm saying that you did what you had to do, just like you did during the entire war."

"You know what I think?" Draco retorted. "I think you need to get the Muggle out of your head," he answered, staring Hermione directly into the eyes. "It's warping your brain."

"You know what! Forget it! Forget I ever mentioned it!" Hermione grabbed her pajamas, stomping into the bathroom. "I'm going to bed, _Malfoy,_" she sneered as if his surname left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Sweet dreams," Draco answered sarcastically, lying down on the now-permanent pallet on the floor.

Whenever Hermione walked back in the room, she laid down on the bed and turned off the light. Curling the dark green plush blanket around her, she buries her head softly into the silk covered pillow, trying to forget the day.

"Why don't you sleep in your own dormitory if you hate me so much?" Draco asked, an angry bite at the end of his words

"I never said I hate you!" Hermione screamed, throwing a pillow at him. "I simply wish you wouldn't be such a pompous git sometimes."

"A pompous git, huh? That's a new one."

"Shut up!" Hermione ordered, fury filling her.

"Are these those blasted pregnancy hormones you Muggles always talk about?" Draco answers back, his voice calm but his words angry all the same. "Because it's really making you a-"

"A what, Malfoy?" Hermione screamed, getting out of bed. "A witch! A brat! A MUDBLOOD!"

At that, Draco stood up and threw down his pillow. "You know what? I'm not going to say it. I've had enough of your childish behavior! I'm sleeping in Blaise's room!" Stomping out the door into the bathroom, Draco closed the door to his bedroom for a moment and looked in the mirror.

Never had a girl driven him so mad. Never had a girl tried so hard to convince him he was the good guy. He sighed and looked down at his arm, the Dark Mark screaming out how evil he really was. He had to be evil, after all, Dobby had done far more to help the war than Draco had ever done. Dobby! A bloody house elf had done more than Draco could to help Hermione. Draco himself was worthless, even lower on the scale than a common house elf whenever it came to being a hero. Draco was evil. Why couldn't Hermione see that?

Draco ran his hand along the Dark Mark, the supposed week-old wounds outlining the black. He wanted to hurt, he deserved to hurt, but the one thing his father had always taught him was self-control. You needed to be in control in order to accomplish anything and if Draco did it now, that would make twice in a matter of seven hours, leaving Draco at the mercy of his Dark Mark once more.

Glancing over to the side, he looked at the doorknob leading to Blaise's bedroom. All it would take was for Blaise—or worse—Pansy to walk in and see his arm bleeding out. That was the last thing he needed, them seeing him at his weakest.

Turning on the water, Draco splashed some onto his face. Nothing felt nearly as good in a tear-jerking stressful situation as a splash of cool water to wake someone back up and allow them to face their problems with an open mind.

"Here we go," Draco whispered to himself, gently putting his hand on the doorknob and opening the door. A single ray of light peered out of the bathroom, slicing across Blaise's four poster prefect bed to expose Pansy's bare back in an upright position as both she and Blaise start shuffling around.

"What the hell, Malfoy!" Blaise screamed, covering himself up with the blanket. "LUMOS!" As the room fills with light, Draco becomes a little more aware of what he had just walked in on. Pansy's hair a mess, the thick Slytherin comforter up around her neck and her breathing still rugged. Draco couldn't help but smirk at what he had interrupted.

"Merlin help us," Draco said smugly, shaking his head. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"What the hell are you even doing in here?" Blaise asked, sitting up, exposing his toned chest.

"Granger started an argument. I got mad and left."

"Granger started an argument, huh?" Blaise asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, started in on all this crap about-" Draco looked over, remembering that Pansy was lying next to Blaise. "Do you mind, Pansy?"

"No," she smiled, "not at all. We can continue after you leave." Blaise smothered a laugh with a cough at the innocence in the comment.

"Here," Draco answered, not in the mood for a naive Pansy. "Allow me to explain myself better. When I say 'do you mind', what I mean is 'get out'."

Pansy glared at Draco before reaching over Blaise and grabbing her pajamas off the floor.

"Fine," she sneered, obviously frustrated. "I'll go talk to Granger, then. After all, if Draco isn't getting any tonight, why should anyone else?"

Getting dressed under the covers, she stepped out onto the floor and stormed out of the room. "I hate you, Drakey," she barked, glaring at him before closing the bathroom door behind her. The childhood name gave away the fact that Pansy didn't mean the hatred.

"You're amazing, Pansy," Draco hollered behind him before sitting at the foot of Blaise's bed.

"So," Blaise states confused. "Granger started the argument?"

"You have no idea. She was being such a- a-" Draco tries to come up with the word as Blaise smiles, watching _the_ Draco Malfoy become speechless. "She was being such an emotional girl. She was trying to tell me that I didn't hurt her, that I was 'surviving' or something rubbish like that. That everything was okay and flowers and bloody sunshine or something."

"And that's arguing?" Blaise asked, still confused by the situation.

"Blaise, get your head out of your arse and focus! Yes, that's arguing because she doesn't understand that I did something wrong! She doesn't understand that I robbed her of her innocence! She doesn't understand that-"

"Wait!" Blaise interrupts him, "robbed her of her innocence? You mean she and Potter?"

"Nope but-"

"She and Weasley?"

"Nope but-"

"She and Krum?"

"No! Now focus. She says that I didn't do anything wrong. That I was surviving and she forgives me." Draco looks down at his hands. "I have nightmares about it and she can just forgive me. How?"

Blaise looked at his best friend. The situation, although it probably should have been horribly uncomfortable, seeing as how under the blanket Blaise was as naked as the day he was born, wasn't awkward at all. Draco needed him and Blaise, although already being needed for other things by Pansy, dropped everything to help him in this interesting situation. It was no different for Blaise than when Draco had been asked to take the Dark Mark or when his father had been incarcerated.

"What exactly happened that night at the Manor, Draco?" Blaise questioned. "You never once told me." It wasn't at all like Blaise to pry, but lately, he had often heard Draco leaving his bedroom in the middle of the night to pace the floor in the Slytherin common room. Draco also kept alluding to "that time with Granger", and quite frankly, Blaise was getting sick of being kept in the dark.

Draco looked sharply at Blaise, angry that his friend would dare ask, but knowing it was an honest question all the same.

"It's…complicated," Draco answered hesitantly. "Let's just…say that neither party was willing, but we were…coerced into getting together," he explained delicately.

Blaise contemplated Draco for a time. "I see," Blaise replied. "Then, if I were her, I'd probably hate everything about you. After all, she is carrying your child now."

"I know!" Draco yelled, raking his hands over his hair. "I did that to her…and she goes and bloody forgives me for it."

"I don't know, Draco," Blaise answered. "I don't claim to know women like Granger. Maybe she can forgive you because she cares about you. After all, when was the last time she called you by your surname?"

"You honestly think Granger cares?" Draco asked, confused by the thought.

"All I know," Blaise answered, tossing a pillow onto the floor in the middle of the room for Draco to use, "is that I haven't heard her call you anything but 'Draco' in weeks. That doesn't just accidentally happen."


	18. Mortis Angelus

"I'm telling you, Granger, I wish I knew, but I don't," Blaise answered for what felt like the hundredth time. "When I went to bed, he was there. When I woke up, he wasn't. That's all I know."

Hermione stared at the dark Italian, questioning his answer. "So," she answered, sounding broken. Blaise heard her choke back tears. "He's gone?"

"I wouldn't say he's gone," Blaise replied, trying to get the witch in front of him to not break down in tears. "I would just say that Draco needs time. He needs to think on some things. He'll be back."

"Right," Hermione said, "thank you." Quickly she walks out of the Great Hall, tears streaming down her face. Draco hadn't shown up for any of his classes. In fact, no one had seen him all day, Blaise and Goyle included.

"Hermione? Hermione!" Turning around quickly, Hermione faced Harry.

"What?" She asked, between sobs, "What do you want?"

"What's wrong with you? You never-"

"Draco's gone. He was there last night and we—" she stopped herself, taking a deep breath to cool her thoughts, "—we got into an argument last night and now he's gone. He's just gone. No one knows where he's at, not Pansy or Blaise or Goyle. Nobody knows where he is and I'm worried about him." She replied quickly, as if to not breathe in between sentences.

"Come here." Harry answered, embracing Hermione in a hug. "He'll come around. I promise. Malfoy can't keep from annoying me and Ron for long."

Hermione laughed at the comment, wrapping her arms around Harry in return. "Thank you," she whispered into his chest, feeling the comfort of his heartbeat against her ear.

* * *

"Another one," Draco orders the barkeep, watching Aberworth walk over.

"I think you've hit your limit."

"Do you know who I am? I'll tell you when I hit my limit, old man. Pour me another drink!" The boy wasn't slurring his words quite yet, and this was only his fifth drink, so Aberforth wasn't too worried yet. This one had already shown he could hold his liquor in the past. The younger ones got feisty when you tried to cut them off. Hell, he had seen Malfoy himself take care of his own when it came to fights like that but Aberforth wasn't about to let this mere boy bait him. He was far too old for that. So instead, he simply picked up the bottle of Firewhiskey and poured Draco another drink.

"Looks like you're drinking to forget, lad,"Aberforth answered, taking the sickles from the bar counter.

"Don't mind what I'm drinking to do," Draco answered with a snarl, "I'm here to drink and you're here to keep my glass full. Got that?" The barkeep turns his back away, ignoring the young man. He knew the boy had been going through a lot post-war as a Malfoy and so long as Mr. Malfoy continued to pay, Aberforth would continue to fill his drinks.

Draco stares at the glass swirling the ice in the red liquid, listening to the familiar ting of it hitting the sides. His arm starts to burn as he thinks of Hermione, of their child, of himself. He knew that part taking the Dark Mark was doing horrible things but he never imagined he'd be sitting here in the pub wishing he had never taken the Dark Mark, for his son's sake. A Malfoy should never have children, he had always told himself. And on one instance, he had even told Pansy. No one deserved the childhood he felt like he had had, the childhood his son would have as the son of a Death Eater. Watching his glass slowly lower, he closes his eyes before reopening them, trying to focus on the blurred ice cubes.

"I'll be back," he whispers to the old barkeep, stepping off the barstool and walking towards the loo. He knew better than to do this in public but he had to escape the pain somehow.

The old man shrugged. Just as long as this Draco Malfoy left his pub tonight at a decent time, he didn't care what the boy did.

* * *

Pushing the door open, Draco could not get into the stall fast enough. Closing his eyes, he forced the Firewhiskey to stay down before pulling up his sleeve. Taking deep breaths, he mentally prepares himself. He kept his wand tucked away in his right sleeve, a trick he had learnt from none other than Snape.

Staring down at the Dark Mark, Draco repeats the spell over and over again in his mind, pointing his wand at the mark. He watches as the blood starts to flow, a slight tinge of pain followed by a relieving ecstasy. Leaning his head back, Draco sighs as he feels every ounce of anger, every ounce of pain and regret leave his body. He watches as the blood, his father's filthy blood, drips off his arm, splattering on the floor as he hears his aunt's sick voice inside his head.

_Time for little Draco to become a man._

_How was it Draco, everything you imagined?_

_Did you see the look in her eyes Lucius, maybe he is a Malfoy after all._

_Filthy. Utterly disgusting, mating with Muggle-born._

Trying to drown out the sound of Bellatrix' twisted laugh, Draco dug deeper into his arm. Instead of flinching at the pain, he is now embracing it. He couldn't help but find a soothing relief in the pain, in the blood. It was his fault this had happened, his fault Hermione was pregnant, and for this he had to suffer. He deserved to suffer, just as Hermione had when she had gotten that horrid word etched into her skin. Draco watched his blood spill onto the floor, at last starting to feel cleansed from his affliction. But he wasn't done yet.

The Firewhiskey had done its job well, numbing Draco from any outside feelings. He didn't notice that his arm stung a little more than usual whenever he cut into it. Nor did he notice that he was slightly lightheaded, blaming it on the alcohol more than the pain.

"You deserve this," he whispers, outlining the eyes of the skull, causing them to bleed out the pain he felt when he heard those words.

_Make us proud, Draco._ Was his father proud now, watching his son father a child that Lucius could have stopped? Watching him face a life that should have never occured? Did this make Lucius proud? Was this Malfoy pride?

Closing his eyes, Draco sighed. He had never felt this kind of euphoria before, never felt this high. He sighed with a type of strange dark ecstacy running through his veins, as cold tingles spread from the pain of his arm, radiating throughout the rest of his body. He penetrated his skin still deeper.

Suddenly, Draco felt the urge to stand up, but when he did, he swayed dangerously on his feet. He slipped on the pool of blood that had spilled onto the floor. Draco fell to his knees and the arm that he had been carving into hit the side of the stall. He groaned out in pain. This time, it wasn't the euphoric pain of cutting Draco was experiencing, but the dangerous pain of having gone too far.

Draco looked at his arm, then at the floor, realizing too late that he had cut far more deeply than he should have. It felt good not to think about everything that was going on, but it left Draco feeling extremely lightheaded, and somewhat weak. Draco completely forgot where he was as he lay his head down on the lavatory floor, his blood causing a puddle at his arm. Due to his mental fog, Draco had completely forgotten the bottle of dittany in his pocket. His eyelids felt heavy simply blinking them. Staring at his arm, at the blood on the tiled floor, he blinked again, not realizing that he can't open his eyes back up. Just before slipping into unconciousnes, he allows one last word to slip from his lips.

"Hermione…"

* * *

Aberforth Dumbledore looked toward the men's lavatory. Draco Malfoy had been in there for well over an hour. He normally didn't go intruding on others but it was getting time for the young man to head back up to the Hogwarts castle. If he didn't get Draco on his way, it was likely the staff at Hogwarts would frown upon it and may simply ban the students from his pub altogether. He carefully folded the Daily Prophet in his hands and set it down on the bar, giving Draco one last chance to appear out of the lavatory of his own accord.

Gently knocking on the door, Aberforth waited patiently for a response before slightly pushing the door open. "Mr. Malfoy," he said, "I hate to interrupt you but it's been nearly an hour." Standing in the doorway, he waited for an answer. Gently, he pushes the door open a little bit more.

The door swung open, allowing Aberforth to walk in. "Mr. Malfoy? Mr. Malfoy, it's time you get returning to Hogwarts." Coming around the corner by the stalls, Aberforth comes face to face with the blood-covered body of Draco Malfoy. "DRACO!" he yelled, leaning over Draco's body. His skin was pale, almost a shade of blue, his lips were nearly purple. Aberforth checked him for a pulse, feeling a very faint heartbeat against his wrist. "Looks like I caught you just in time, son," he whispered, trying to figure out mentally who would do such a thing as trying to kill the young Malfoy boy.

"A lot of people would, that's the problem," he says aloud to himself, trying to find out where the bleeding was coming from so he could stop it. Draco's hair was matted in the blood, his clothes, as well as Aberforth's now, were soaked in it and his arm looked as if it had gone through a Muggle meat slicer.

That's when Aberforth saw where the bleeding was coming from…Draco's arm. The Dark Mark was still bleeding out as Aberforth tore off a bit of Draco's shirt, wrapping it around his arm tightly.

Standing up, the old barkeep sent a Patronus to the school. "Draco Malfoy is in grave condition here at the Leaky Cauldron. Bring Madam Pomfrey immediately. No time can be wasted."

Aberforth sats back down next to Draco's body, wishing there was more he could do. Looking at the boy, so full of youth still, he couldn't help but shake his head. "What could be so bad, son? So bad that you think this is your only way out?"


	19. Between Lies and Lovers

Hermione sat over Draco, the same way she had been since she found out this morning at breakfast where she heard where he was through the grapevine. Sitting there silently, she held his hand as his friends, Pansy, Blaise, Daphne, Astoria, Goyle, and even Nott came by to see him. She held his hand as Narcissa walked into the room around lunchtime and looked down at her only son.

"My Draco was always stronger than this," Narcissa whispered, believing her son had tried taking his own life.

"I don't think he was trying to kill himself, Mrs. Malfoy," Hermione answered, not letting go of Draco's hand.

Tears welled up in Narcissa's eyes as she looked down at Draco, still as white as could be. His lips were still a light shade of purple and one could see the dark rings under his eyes. Even his hair, his white-blond hair, still had hints of pink in it from where the blood had stained. "My Draco," she whispered, talking to Draco now instead of Hermione. "What could hurt this bad, son? She has forgiven you. You have a beautiful son coming who will be just like you."

Hermione bit her lip at the last sentence, knowing that was the last thing Draco would want to hear, now or ever. "I'm going to...I'm going to the bathroom, Mrs. Malfoy," she said, walking towards the door. She knew Narcissa would want alone time with her son.

"Oh, that's fine, dear. I'll stay here with Draco and let you know if anything changes."

Hermione nodded her head as a thank you and quickly walked out of the Hospital Wing. As she opens the door to the Hospital Wing, she ran face first into Harry.

"Harry!" She screamed, wrapping her arms around hia neck.

"Nice to see you too, Hermione," Harry answered, a bit on edge, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Hermione. He couldn't help but wonder every time she got upset if she was going to snog him again. "I was actually coming to see Malfoy."

"He's in there with Narcissa," Hermione whispered softly, convincing Harry to wait. "We can sit out here now." Hermione pointed to a low windowsill across the hall and they both sat down. The silence was awkward at first, until Hermione broke it. "He still hasn't woken up. I can't help but feel...guilty."

"Hermione, how can you feel guilty for an attack? You didn't cause it. Someone obviously had it out for Malfoy."

Hermione bit her bottom lip nervously. "Yeah."

"Hermione, what happened at the Manor?" Harry finally asks bluntly. "I know I don't normally probe but I have to ask. I'm...I'm worried about you. I hate to say it, but I'm even worried about Malfoy. You two seem to take turns being walking zombies."

"He did as he was told. He locked away the kiss, the conversation, and then…" Hermione stopped, catching herself as tears silently dripped down her cheeks,"…then he raped me. After everything, he promised me that he would-" Harry wrapped his arms around Hermione, comforting her as she fights back the sobs. "He promised me we would both leave there alive, no matter what. When I refused to eat, refused to move, he...he told me he didn't save my life so I could die on him now." Hermione smiled through the tears now, thinking back to how creative he had been by making her eat.

"So what happened to him, then? He's dying Hermione, and you're living."

"I don't know," Hermione whispered, wiping away the tears. "He...Pansy had mentioned something to me that Slytherins do what they must to survive while Gryffindors do what's right. It threw me off, so I read into it and found some information. I told Draco about it and he...he got upset. Said it was rubbish that I could forgive him so easily. We argued and he slept in Blaise's room. That was the last time I saw him until this morning."

Harry gulped. "What was the information?"

"Situational Ethics." Hermione answered, her I'm-a-walking-dictionary voice kicking in, "it means that what may be morally wrong in one situation is okay in another depending on other factors. They use this when explaining war or-"

"Or Malfoy." Harry finished, getting a nod out of Hermione.

"Yeah," she answered, walking back into the Hospital Wing where, because of Narcissa, they could no longer discuss it, "Or Malfoy."

Narcissa looked up to see Harry and Hermione. She looked quite surprised to see Harry there.

"To what does Draco owe the pleasure of your visit?" Narcissa inquired of Harry. She looked a bit wary to have him there.

"I, uh," Harry began, awkwardly running a hand over his hair, "I figured he could use a friend? Plus, I came to talk to Hermione, actually, and I know she was sitting here with your son." Harry sighed. "I'm sorry he got hurt, Mrs. Malfoy."

At that, Narcissa turned to the bed, saying softly, "You have no idea," as she laid her hand on Draco's pale cheek and kissed his forehead. Even asleep, he looked horribly pained. Hermione held a hand to her mouth. Narcissa looked up at Hermione and Harry saw something pass between them; Hermione looked in Harry's direction, and then Narcissa nodded ever-so-slightly. Then the blonde woman stood up, made her excuses, and left Hermione and Harry alone with Draco.

"I don't think he was attacked in Hogsmeade, Harry," Hermione said seriously. "Madam Pomfrey was asking those closest to Draco if they knew of him threatening to hurt himself or kill himself lately."

Harry stared at Hermione in shock. He hardly knew what to say. Draco Malfoy was one of the most dynamic of individuals he had ever met. Yet it appeared the very thing that threatened to destroy Hermione was threatening to destroy Malfoy as well.

"I thought that he got attacked down in Hogsmeade?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded. "Blaise started that rumor to throw people off-track," she said.

"Do…do you know what caused him to do it?" Harry finally inquired, reaching out and taking Hermione's hand.

"Not exactly," Hermione answered, as she held a hand up to her mouth. She confessed to him about how Draco had been forced by Bellatrix to rape her. Harry sat in silence the whole time, throwing glances at Draco, wondering how on earth he could have put up with such a thing.

And then Hermione continued, "Draco and I had a row the night before last. And they found a bottle of dittany on his person, which means he's probably been cutting himself for at least a week now, and nobody even knew because of it. He hid it…he stole the bottle from me." Hermione ran a delicate finger along the bandages that swathed Draco's left forearm as tears filled her eyes. "This time, I think it was me who pushed him over the edge." The tears slid down her cheeks and she wept.

"I'm…I'm so sorry, Hermione," Harry replied, gathering Hermione in his arms. She buried her head in his shoulder. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just…help me be strong," she whispered. "He needs me, and I don't know how else I can get through this because I need him now, too."

* * *

Harry was quite conflicted with the conversation he had had with Hermione down in the Hospital Wing. It had certainly seemed to him that Draco had rapidly deteriorated into some sort of emotional wreck during the past few days. The way Hermione talked certainly left Harry with a lot on his mind. And so, with a troubled heart, he went to sleep that night in his dorm.

"Hermione..." muttered Harry in his sleep.

Ron rolled over, groaning. Just what he needed to hear, another one of Harry's dreams tonight, the sound of Hermione's name still stinging his heart.

"Yeah," he grumbles to himself, "lost love to Malfoy."

"...raped..." Harry mumbles as he turns over in his bed. "...Malfoy..." he mutters.

Suddenly, Ron jumps up in bed. "What?" he asked, barely a whisper. He knew he couldn't wake Harry or else he'd never find out the truth. Silently, he climbed out of bed and got on his hands and knees, crawling over to Harry's bed and sitting on his knees next to the bed. _Maybe Draco saved her_, Ron tries convincing himself. Surely Hermione wouldn't sleep in the same bed as a rapist.

"No..." Harry choked, still asleep. "Would've died...instead...of hurting her, Malfoy."

Ron's face goes white with fury. "How did he hurt her, Harry? How the hell did Malfoy hurt her?" Ron whispers, barely audible as to try and get information out of Harry but not to wake him. "What did Malfoy do, mate?"

Harry shook his head violently, as if even whilst unconscious, saying the words aloud was torture. "Malfoy...raped...her." And at that, Harry wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered.

Ron feels himself shake with fury. Inches away from Harry's face, in the same dorm as Neville, Seamus, and Dean, Ron jumps up screaming. "I'm going to kill him! I'm going to finish off the job that whoever didn't do it last night and kill the bloody bastard!" reaching over, Ron grabs his wand off the nightstand, anger overtaking him.

Harry was shaken from a deep and troubling sleep. Vaguely, he heard Ron yelling about killing someone. With sickening realization, Harry barely glimpsed Ron as he threw open the door to the dorm room and stalked down the stairs. Harry must have been talking about Malfoy in his sleep—that was the only explanation for Ron's current state of fury. Quickly, Harry grabbed his glasses and his wand and tore off down the stairs after his best mate.

Ron could hear Harry's quickened steps behind him, although he was passed the point of caring. "If you're trying to stop me, Harry," Ron hollered, fury in his voice. "Don't!" Ron stops abruptly, causing Harry to bump into his back. "After what he did, Malfoy deserves to die. Of course Hermione didn't cheat. He forced himself on her. Probably in my own bloody bed!" Ron screams, all logic leaving his mind as his ears start to turn beet red and he feels white-hot anger rushing through him "I'm going to Crucio the bastard to death!"

Harry had never known Ron to run so quickly and far in the whole of his life. He could not manage to even catch him as they ran down the hallway.

"It's not that simple!" Harry said helplessly, not knowing what else to say as they ran. He lost Ron around the corner. Looking around, Harry debated which way Ron would have taken. Ron's luck with spells, especially curses, and both him and Malfoy would be withering in pain in the hospital wing.

Ron had taken this as his chance, realizing Harry wasn't behind him and bolted down a side hallway. It would take him a little longer to get to the Hospital Wing this way but if Harry didn't know where Ron was, he couldn't physically stop him and Ron could avoid the teachers easier this way too. Cursing himself for not taking Harry's Invisibility Cloak, Ron ducked into a dark corner as McGonagall walks by, missing the red-headed boy in the shadows.

Harry cursed to himself; it would be nearly impossible to find Ron now. He hadn't taken the most direct route to the Hospital Wing, but Ron had known that Draco was there. And who knew if Madam Pomfrey could be awoken in time. Harry knew that he couldn't simply allow his best mate to go to Azkaban for using an Unforgivable Curse on Malfoy. Running faster, Harry made a dart for the hospital wing.

Ron took a deep breath as he stood in the doorway of the Hospital Ward. Gently opening the door, Ron tries to be quiet in case Madam Pomfrey was in the Wing. He wordlessly aimed a Silencing Charm at her door. Ron spotted Draco in a far bed and ran toward it. At last, Harry reached the hospital wing but the door was open. Quickly, he ran inside. Ron was standing over Draco. Harry slowly stepped into the room, not wishing to agitate Ron any further.

"Think it'd be funny! Crushing Hermione!" Ron screams, his voice echoing throughout the white room. "See how you like it!"

"RON!" Harry roared "DON'T DO IT!"

"Harry! Leave me alone! How the hell can you stick up for him! He raped her! He raped Hermione and now look at her! She's just as dead inside as he's going to be!" Ron points his wand at Draco, his hand shaking as he sighs, ready to Crucio him. "I want him to hurt like Hermione does!"

Harry sighed, stepping ever closer to Draco in the bed. He was still unconscious from the ordeal the night before. Harry looked down at the Slytherin and despite all the conflict he felt within himself for Draco having hurt Hermione, he still couldn't help but pity Draco.

"He did rape her, you're right." Harry agreed, "but it's not your job to mete out punishment for the crime." Harry continued, "Besides, look at him Ron. He's white as the bedsheets. Is it really worth it to attack a defenseless Malfoy?"

Ron looked down at Malfoy. "What are you saying, mate? That I wait until he's conscious to kill him?"

Harry moved over, standing opposite of Ron next to Malfoy's hospital bed. Harry shook his head. "What I'm saying, Ron, is that if Hermione chooses to press charges against Malfoy, it would be a lot harder for her to communicate with you if you are in Azkaban," Harry answers meaningfully.

Ron sighs, having realized that Harry was right. He looked down at Draco, hatred running through him. "How the hell could he, mate? How could he hurt her like that? I mean, think of Hermione. She's smart and pretty and she's...she's bloody perfect and why the hell is she still sleeping in his bed?"

"I don't pretend to know exactly what Hermione's thinking," Harry answers, "but I do happen to know that Malfoy was as much a victim as her. Hermione told me yesterday they would have killed both of them if he hadn't done it." Harry hated himself for betraying Hermione's trust but if it meant he could save a life, and keep Ron out of prison, it simply had to be done. Not to mention, Malfoy needed all the help he could get right now.

Ron stared at Harry. "So, Hermione wasn't up all night screaming from what Bellatrix did to her? It was..." Ron's face goes white with realization. "Andafter the war I was..." All the pushing away whenever Ron would try to take things to the next level, the crying whenever his shaky hands would graze along her waisline. Suddenly, it all made sense. Ron fell to the floor beside Draco's bed. "I...I…" Leaning over, Ron throws up in the bin next to Draco's bed.

Harry walked up behind Ron. "You through yet, mate? Once you are, I think it's time we head back up to bed," he said softly. "Sorry to break it to you this way," said Harry, "but I really didn't have a choice. I broke Hermione's confidence by telling you any of this."

"Yeah," Ron answered, looking down at Draco's body. "I just don't understand. She couldn't have told me months ago when I was trying to...to..move snogging up a level?" Ron takes a step towards the door. "I don't think I'll ever understand women ,mate."

Harry smiled ruefully. "That makes two of us," he confessed, putting a hand on Ron's shoulder as they turned around and walked out the door, leaving Draco behind them.


	20. Their Own Good

Draco lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness. He had heard bits and pieces of Hermione talking to him. He had heard bits and pieces of Harry and Ron talking over him. He had even heard bits and pieces of Blaise and Pansy discussing how Narcissa and Lucius were going to respond. Ah yes, Lucius. The last person Draco cared about at this point. Lucius.

_Do I make you proud father?_ Draco thought to himself, during one of his more conscious states_. Is this the Malfoy pride you were talking about whenever you told me to go in there and rape an innocent schoolgirl? Is this what Malfoy pride is all about?_

Laying there in the bed, Draco's eyes start to flutter open, and he thought he saw Hermione sitting beside him.

"Dr-Draco?" Hermione asked, causing Draco to open his eyes a bit more. He didn't know what it was about Hermione's voice, but something about it grabbed onto him, pulled him to consciousness. Somthing about the way she spoke his name gave him reason to open his eyes. "Can you hear me, Draco?"

His eyelids fluttering open again, Draco's grey eyes met Hermione's brown ones. "I'm..." He whispered, causing Hermione to put a finger up to his lips.

"Shhh. You need to rest right now," she whispered back, setting her hand back down on the bed. The rough blanket nothing like the blanket they had back in the bedroom. "Don't think, just rest."

"Easy...easy for you to say," he whispered out, his voice raspy. He forced a smirk.

Hermione can't help but smile through the tears. "I didn't think you'd make it. They...rumor was that you were attacked and I...I was so scared for you Draco. I-"

"And you tell me not to think," he whispered, still weak.

"Yeah, I...I guess you're right," Hermione answered, placing her hand on his. Draco can't help but look at it, wanting to pull away. Wanting to tell her she was stupid for caring about him, for losing sleep over him.

"Are my—I thought I heard something about—"

Hermione already knew who he was asking about. "Narcissa is," she whispered back, "Lucius isn't allowed to show up until after you wake. Special privileges leaving St. Mungo's they said."

"I'm...I'm sorry." Draco whispered, looking down at his arm. The bandages covering the Dark Mark telling enough of the story for him to understand what happened after he blacked out.

"Shhhh...Just don't say anything." Hermione said pleadingly, "I just wanted to be here when you woke. I'm sorry too. I never should have argued with you."

The phrase stung Draco. Hermione felt guilty for this because of their argument. She felt like she was at fault because they had argued over a silly Muggle book. The way Draco was feeling now, he wondered if he would even remember this conversation.

"It's fine," Draco whispered back, his voice still raspy. He figured it was going to take a while for that to go away. "How long have I been here?"

Hermione looked at her watch, one of the few Muggle things she still relied on instead of magic. "You came in two nights ago at eleven. It's five now. So..." Hermione stops, doing the math in her head. "Thirty hours."

Draco nodded. Thirty hours he had been lying unconscious. He couldn't believe it.

"Draco?" Hermione continued, barely audible to even him. "I trust you."

He couldn't help but stare at her. How could Hermione trust him after all he had done to hurt her? After all the ways he had ruined her and taken away bits and pieces of her? He could understand if the rape had been the only occurrence. No, even that he couldn't understand. He had been downright cruel to Hermione, their entire time at Hogwarts. In fact, up until she got pregnant, he couldn't even count on one hand the nice things he had said to her.

"Don't," he begged, not wanting to hear her explain her feelings for him.

"No, you need to hear this," Hermione answered. "You are the father to my unborn son. I trust you Draco, not once, but twice now, you have saved my life. Now promise me something."

Draco looked at her, his eyes begging her not to continue with what he knew she was probably going to ask of him.

"I know the truth," she whispered, causing Draco to once again feel like he was bleeding to death. She knew how weak Draco really was. She knew how pathetic he was to take a weak-minded Muggle way out of dealing with the pain, and this killed Draco. "Now promise me you will never do it again." Draco simply stared at her, not knowing what to say. How did Hermione know? How did she find out? "Promise me, Draco!" she demanded.

"I promise," he whispered, using all the energy he has left. "I promise."

Gently Hermione pressed her lips to his, giving Draco the same comforting feeling that he had felt seconds before taking her innocence. Draco fought to keep his eyes open as he watched Hermione pull back away from his face, sitting back down on the chair.

"I won't tell your mum that you woke up," Hermione whispered, knowing this moment was sacred and to only be kept between them. "But thank you. And you do need to get your rest."

Draco barely nodded, allowing his heavy eyelids to take over as he drifted back off to sleep. "Thank you," he whispered before giving into the dreamless slumber.

* * *

"NO!" Draco heard Hermione scream, forcing him back into a semi-conscious state. "NO! You can't take him! You can't!"

"Listen Hermione, we are doing this for his own good," a male voice calls out, Draco's eyes fluttering slightly, everything blurred. "He is a risk to himself."

"NO! Draco would never kill himself. He wouldn't!" He heard her scream, the familiar sound of tears in her voice. "Draco is fine! He needs me!"

"And you can go see him anytime you like," he heard his mother promise calmly. "We will not stop you from seeing him." Then the woman said, "But he is most definitely not 'fine', Miss Granger."

"You can't do this! I need Draco! I need him!" Hermione screamed, her voice already strained from the screaming.

"Don't let go of her, Ron," another voice calls out.

"Easier said than done, mate," Weasley's obvious voice answered, a grunting strain to it. "Come on 'Mione, he's going to be okay."

"Get your hands off of me! Let me see Draco! I want Draco!"

Draco's eyes fluttered open long enough to see the white suits moving him out on a stretcher, long enough to see the door of the Hospital Wing close behind him, and long enough to see Hermione screaming, fighting against Ron's arms until she collapsed on the floor, cheeks soaked in tears.

* * *

That night, Hermione was faced with more news. With Draco gone, the professors had come to a mutual agreement that Hermione, as a Gryffindor, was to sleep in the Gryffindor dormitories with the other Gryffindor girls until further notice.

"I can't sleep in there," Hermione whispered to Pansy at dinner, sitting at her now-usual spot by where Draco used to sit. "I don't want to hear it from Lavender and Parvati, asking questions about Draco's...performance."

"His performance?" Blaise asked, laughing, "Are you talking about how he is in bed or how he racks up as a Quidditch player?"

"Blaise! That's enough!" Pansy barked, smacking him playfully on the arm. "Besides Hermione, you can either tell them the truth or tell them it's none of their business."

"Or," Blaise answered sincerely, like he has a great idea. "You could lie and tell them it was amazing."

Hermione can't help but smile at her new-found friends. Four months ago, even two months ago, if someone would have told her she would be sitting here joking around about bedroom discussions with Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson, she would have told them they were crazy.

Instead now, she was trying to figure out how she was going to open up to the other Gryffindor girls, her own House.

"So, tell me." Pansy whispered across the table, "Since Drakey isn't here to stop me from asking-"

"But I am." Blaise answered, "and to be quite honest, those are things I don't want to hear about Draco." Hermione couldn't help but wonder as Pansy put her head down in disappointment if she had seen Blaise wink at her or or if she had imagined it. Did Blaise know? Had Draco told him?

"Thank you again, Blaise," Hermione told him, knowing no one else could hear the conversation besides Pansy, who was there whenever Blaise tried coming up with a reasonable rumor to spread.

"For?" he asked, confused.

"For telling Lavender that Draco was attacked at Hogsmeade. I'd rather not have everyone knowing the truth." She whispered lightly, playing with a piece of ham on her plate with her fork. "It...It means a lot to me."

"Malfoy persona, had to protect his reputation," Blaise answered with a shrug, "You would have done the same for Pansy," Pansy looked across the table at Hermione, her eyes asking her to be honest.

"Yes, Pansy." Hermione answered, looking at her now-best friend. "Of course I would have."

"When are you going to see Drakey?" Pansy asked, her hand slowly moving closer to Blaise's, as if she were nervous to take it in public.

"Probably tomorrow afternoon," Hermione answered. It was Friday, so Hermione had to herself all day Saturday but was planning on spending the morning studying in the library and then going to go see Draco in the afternoon, allowing him plenty of rest before getting company. "Care to join me?"

"I would love to," Pansy answered before biting her bottom lip, "but I think it's probably best you see him alone the first time. I'm sure Draco would love some alone time with you to talk about everything."

"Yeah," Hermione said, staring down at the book she had brought along with her to dinner, a book on self-mutilation that she had yet to crack open after getting into a conversation with Blaise and Pansy. A book she had gotten trying to understand why Draco had done what he had. "I guess I better get headed back to the Common Room," she sighs, grabbing her book. "I'll see you two at breakfast?"

Pansy nodded, smiling at Blaise. "We'll see you at breakfast."

Hermione walked out of the Great Hall, not looking forward to the time she would be spending with her fellow house-mates. With Ron. With Ginny.


	21. Reckoning with Ronald

**A/N: Thank you, dear readers, for your wonderful reviews. They help keep this story flowing despite the many trials in my own life at this time.**

* * *

Hermione walked into the Gryffindor Common Room, getting a little more depressed with every step. She wasn't looking forward to facing her fellow house-mates and knew as soon as she entered the room with the red and gold tapestries, that she would have rather entered the Slytherin Dungeon. She feels the Gryffindor eyes on her as she doesn't say a word, walking straight through the Common Room and up into the dormitories to read her book.

She was thankful as she walked into the dormitory and laid down on her bed, thankful that the other girls were not in the room. Laying her head back, her mind automatically compares her bed to Draco's, the perfect bed with a pillow-top mattress, with a deep green thick comforter, and with a few too many throw pillows.

Letting her mind wander back to Draco's bed, to Draco's arms, Hermione drifts off to sleep. As she sleeps, her mind goes on a roller coaster, similar to that at Gringotts. Up and down, her mind goes, twisting at every turn, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong to allow Draco to hurt himself. How could he hurt himself in such a way? Did he not care about her, about the baby? Jumping up, Hermione realizes that the lights in the dormitories were now out, meaning that she had slept a little longer had intended, but she sneaked past Lavender's bed and out into the common room anyway. She didn't know what she was expecting to see whenever she walked into the common room, maybe she was just expecting to sit and think in the quiet of it all, but the last thing she was expecting to see was Ronald Weasley sitting on the couch, staring at the fireplace.

"Ron," Hermione demanded, wasting no time, "why were you there...when Draco was taken?"

Ron looks up from the fire. He had been deep in thought from what Harry had told him earlier this week. "Huh? Oh...hehe...Hermione? I was..umm...Harry said they'd need help?" he half-asks, hoping he'd given a sufficient answer.

"Harry..." Hermione said angrily. Thoughts churned through her mind, as she realized something. "Did _he_ tell you why Draco was really in the hospital wing?"

Ron shook his head violently. "No, all he told me was to show up and hold you back and I did," Ron lied, hating himself for having to do it, but knowing it was best. "Why was he in there, Hermione?"

Hermione shook herself, not believing Ron. The St. Mungo's hospital staff member had specifically said, "He's a danger to himself" and Ron hadn't reacted. That mean he had to know.

"Ron," Hermione growled, "what did Harry tell you?"

Ron looked at Hermione. "He..he told me to show up, Hermione," Ron answered, looking down at his hands nervously. "He told me you would need someone."

Hermione looked him directly in the eye. "And why, Ron, would Harry have told _you_ that I needed somebody? Why did you not act surprised when it was said that Draco was a danger to himself?"

Ron shrugged. "I always knew Malfoy wasn't quite completely sane?" he asked.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Ron?" Hermione was practically shouting now. "What does that have to do with a boy who was supposedly attacked in Hogsmeade?"

Ron realized at that point he had screwed up, cursing himself. "I'm sorry?"

Hermione grabbed her hair, wringing it through her hands. "I can't believe Harry _told_ you!" she cried, now on the verge of tears. "Ronald, why would Harry have told you something I told him in strictest confidence?" She began pacing around.

"Now Hermione, don't be mad at Harry. I wasn't supposed to...I...I was going to kill Malfoy," Ron gulped hard. "Literally, this time."

She whirled around, staring at him again. "Why, Ronald, were you going to kill Malfoy?"

"I'm just digging myself in a deeper hole, aren't I?" Ron asks, already making the realization.

Hermione folded her arms in front of her, glaring at Ron. "Tell me _everything_," she demanded, "from the beginning."

"I can't, Hermione. Just know that I...I didn't kill him?" Ron forces a half smile, hoping to get Hermione to smile too. "But Harry would kill me if he knew that I told you. You can't be mad at him, you know he sleep-talks."

Hermione's eyes closed tightly, and she held up a hand over them. "So...Harry...let slip that Malfoy...had to..." she faded off.

"Not quite?" Ron answered, "he mentioned your names and I more or less...well, you've seen me drag information out of him." Ron looks at Hermione, seeing her near breakdown. "Don't cry, I won't tell anyone."

"Harry wasn't supposed to tell anyone either," Hermione hiccuped, near sobs. "So...you heard Harry sleep-talking, were going to go down and kill Malfoy...who stopped you?" she whispered.

Ron looks up at Hermione, wanting to hug her, wanting to apologize for any times he had made her cry without realizing what was wrong. "Harry did?"

"How?" she said, trying to stop herself crying. "How did Harry stop you? The reason I never told you was because I was certain you _would_ kill Malfoy, you know." She buried her head in her hands.

Ron wrapped his arm around Hermione, pulling her close. "I would have," Ron answered, more to himself than Hermione. "Harry told me everything, about Bellatrix, I mean. Otherwise, Malfoy would be dead right now. He...he told me of how I wouldn't do much good is Azkaban."

"So...Harry told you...and you understood. You, Ronald? _You?_" Hermione felt herself finally lose control, her body wracked with sobs. She couldn't bring herself to believe that upon knowing the truth, Ronald Weasley had actually grown a heart.

Ron reached over, wrapping both arms around Hermione, "Not really, but," he pulled her closer, "why didn't you say something when I tried...you know? I feel like the world's biggest arse."

Hermione buried herself against Ron's chest, and choked out, "I'm...I'm j-just happy y-you're trying." She looked up into Ron's eyes with her tear-stained face and told him, "Thank you."

Ron curses at himself, knowing he was going to get either hexed or smacked for this one. Hermione belonged to Malfoy now, but for the moment, Ron didn't care. Gently he pressed his lips to Hermione's mouth.

Immediately, Hermione backed away and slapped Ron across the face. "I'm vulnerable, and all you can do is _kiss_ me? How _dare_ you!" she slapped him a second time. "I'm pregnant with Draco's child-yes, _Draco_, not Malfoy-and you take advantage of the situation. I hate you, Ronald Weasley," Hermione seethed, furious, as tears streamed down her face. She glared at Ronald for a time before finally whirling away with her hands balled into fists and stomping up the stairs to the Gryffindor girl's dorm.

"Hermione, wait!" Ron called, running over and standing at the foot of the girl's stairwell. He knew better than to set a foot on the stairs, George and Fred had told him about the slide. "Hermione!"

"What is it _now_?" she yelled, ready to leave again, not caring her loud voice was probably waking up her fellow students.

"I'm sorry," Ron whispered, looking down with shame. "I...I just can't believe this is happening. I...I shouldn't have kissed you, huh?"

"No, Ronald, you clearly should not have kissed me," Hermione replied, as if speaking to someone particularly dim.

"I'm sorry?" Ron answered, shame filling his face. "Again?"

Then Hermione changed her tone, with just barely a hint more patience. "What do you want, Ronald?"

Ron shrugs, "To talk? I want to know how you could fight a war with me and snog me, which was fun, but you couldn't tell me why you pulled away?"

Hermione's voice got rough as she replied, "I already told you," she said, "I thought you were going to kill Draco."

Ron sighs, looking at Hermione. "I thought I was doing something wrong. You make me nervous, anyway. I..." _No, I couldn't have helped_, Ron thinks to himself. "Does he still act like Malfoy?"

"He doesn't act like anything right now, Ronald," Hermione said quietly, once again on the verge of tears.

"Right," Ron answered, looking down at his feet before looking back up at Hermione, "Do you love him?"

Hermione scoffed through her tears. "There are much deeper things at work here than love, Ronald. I hardly think it matters anymore," she said, her eyes looking downcast.

"What the bloody hell Hermione, of course it matters. You don't want to grow up to be...Lucius and Narcissa do you? They don't even bloody care about each other. Do you love him or not, 'Mione?"

Hermione slowly walked back down the stairs, hardly knowing what she was doing. She ignored the jabs at Draco's parents. She stood in front of Ronald again and said, "I don't know. But I do need him, Ronald." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she spoke.

Ron nods, not quite understanding. "I...I see." he whispers, walking back over and sitting down on the couch.

Hermione followed him over to the couch, hating to be the one to reject him, especially when he quite obviously had feelings for her. But she still needed help. "I can't do this alone, Ronald. I need to be strong. Do you think you can help me do that?" she asked quietly.

Ron looked up at her. "Yeah," Ron answered, realizing that he was agreeing to be just friends once more, "I guess he was somewhat brave, but don't tell him I said that."

Hermione smiled, despite everything, and replied, "I'm sorry. For everything." She walked over and sat next to him on the couch. "Thank you," she whispered.

Ron reached over, wrapping both arms around Hermione, embracing her in a hug. "Never keep something like that from me again, 'Mione."

"I promise," she agreed, burying her head against his chest.


	22. Building Bridges

Blaise raised an eyebrow, looking up from his Quidditch catalog, questioning Hermione's prerogative. "You want me to sign a get well card?" He asked, "For Draco Malfoy?"

"Well, if I didn't, I wouldn't be here asking," Hermione answered, a nearly-Slytherin sneer in her voice. Blaise couldn't help but chuckle to himself. She had been hanging out with the Slytherins too long.

"You realize Draco is just going to ask how many of us you had to Imperius in order to get this card signed, right?" Blaise asked, before going back to his broom catalog.

"No, he's not!" Hermione barked back, offended. "Nott signed it, see?" She points to the swirled name right above the word 'Get'.

"Nott is a pansy." Blaise answered, little emotion in his voice.

"Goyle signed it." She argued back, pointing to another spot on the card.

"Goyle has a brain the size of a Sickle," Blaise replied, turning the next page in his catalog.

"Pansy signed it," Hermione fought back, not willing to give up. Blaise picked up his head, looking Hermione in the eyes.

"Do you really want to go there?" He asked, not wanting to give further explanation.

"Fine, I'll sodding sign it," Blaise answered, grabbing a quill. In his neat, nearly perfect handwriting he writes 'Get Well Soon or something, Zabini' on the upper right-hand corner. "Are you pleased?"

"Very," Hermione smiled, grabbing her card and getting up from the table, her frizzy hair pulled back in a ponytail. "Thank you, Blaise."

Yeah, yeah," he answered, trying to hide a smirk as Hermione walks away. He couldn't help but wonder what was going through the Gryffindor's mind as she left his table at the Library, walking around the corner, Potter following shortly behind her.

* * *

Hermione couldn't help but smile as she walked away from the table she was standing at with Blaise. She knew she wanted him to sign the card but the fact that he actually signed it was wonderful. That was going to help Draco, knowing his best friend actually cared. As she walks away from the table, she spotted Harry, which caused her to temperature to rise at the thought of his betrayal.

Harry walked up to Hermione saying, "Hermione, I need to talk to you, please. Is now a good time?"

"Yes," Hermione answered, her lips tight with fury. "As good as any. You have a lot of explaining to do, Harry."

Harry gulped and ran a hand over his hair nervously. "I know," he said quietly. "Where do I start?" he said.

"From the beginning." Hermione answered, her face emotionless.

"First of all," he said, "I'd like to apologize. I never meant for it to happen...I still don't know exactly how it did I just know I was...was...talking in my sleep. I guess...I must have said something about you and Draco, because the next thing I knew, Ron screamed something about killing Malfoy. And so I grabbed my wand, and tore off after him down the stairs..." he faded away, running a hand over his hair again."...I still don't know exactly what I said, but it must have been bad enough that Ron figured out that Malfoy...had to...had to...hurt you."

"Right." Hermione said, looking down with tears in her eyes trying to figure out what all Harry could have said. "How...how did you stop him? How did you save Draco?"

"Well," Harry said seriously, "I was quite ready to hex Ron, if I had to, and that's no small deal, hexing your best mate. But Malfoy was down, you see. If Ron was going to hex him, the least he could do was make it a fair fight-not when Malfoy is alone and defenseless. That still didn't stop Ron, though," Harry continued. "So I appealed to him for your sake," he said softly. "Mentioned that if you ever wanted to press charges against Malfoy-which I know you won't, by the way-it would be difficult for Ron to communicate with you if he were in Azkaban." Harry stepped closer to Hermione and leaned down to her ear, "But he only hesitated. He still hadn't dropped his wand. So I appealed to his sense of family...told him about how Lucius had said it was perfectly fine for him to hurt you. Then I said for him to imagine Arthur requiring the same thing of him," Harry paused to look Hermione in the eyes. "The thought of it made him so ill, he threw up right then and there."

Hermione nodded, tears streaming down her face now. She couldn't be angry with Harry, he had saved Draco's life. "Thank you." she whispered, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck.

Harry embraced her in return, just glad that he had come clean and that she wasn't furious with him. After all, she had every right to be. But then again, had it not been for Harry telling Ron what was going on, Malfoy would likely be dead.

Suddenly, Hermione looked down, the card in her hand. "You should sign this," she says, pushing the card at Harry, smiling.

Warily, Harry took the card from her and looked at it. "A get well card for Malfoy? You actually want me to sign this?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes" Hermione answers matter-of-factly. "I read that it helps a self-mutliator rebuild their self-esteem when they find out others care. Gives them a reason not to hurt themselves," Hermione gulped, "because of what others would lose if it went to far. Please?"

Harry sighed...and he didn't want to disappoint Hermione, so he took the card from her, against his better judgment, mumbling, "Hermione, I really think the last thing Malfoy would want is to hear from me," he said, as he scribbled a message on the card.

"Oh, thank you Harry!" Hermione squealed aloud, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck again. "I'm sure he will love it!"

"Hey, it's okay," he said, "anything to see you smile again." He hugged her back once more.

Smiling, Hermione walked away, looking at her card. She had finally gotten the last of the signatures she wanted. Draco would love it.


	23. Hermione's Interview

**A/N: Thank you again for your enthusiasm, dear readers. I appreciate it so very much. This story now has over 100 reviews! It is a great boon to me during the trials of my life. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Thank you.**

* * *

Madam Adonna, one of the Healers over Draco's case at the hospital, straightened her green healer's robes and introduced herself to Hermione Granger.

"Hello," she said, holding out her hand, "my name is Madam Adonna, and I'm one of those who's in charge of ensuring that Draco gets better. Would you be willing to help out with that? I'll need to interview you."

Hermione looked at the Healer, "Yes, I'm Hermione Granger, a-" she paused, trying to think of how to word her and Draco's relationship. They weren't exactly friends, or lovers. She gulps at the thought of calling him her boyfriend. "-a close friend of Draco's. If an interview would help, I'd be happy to." She smiles up at the Healer.

The Healer smiled back at her and invited Hermione elsewhere. "We'll go to my office where I can speak to you in private. Is that all right?"

Hermione looked at the Healer, her body tensing up the slightest bit. Since the war, the only people she was okay with being in a room alone with was Harry, Ron and Draco, but this was a Healer. Gently she nodded, "That is fine." she answers, trying to hide her nervousness.

The Healer led Hermione down the corridor to her office. She could sense Hermione's reluctance to speak with her, but the girl had only shown it when the Healer had invited to speak with her alone. The Healer invited Hermione to sit down in a chair in front of her desk as the Healer sat down on the other side of the desk, got out some forms, and made some notes on a clipboard before saying, "What can you tell me about Draco Malfoy?"

Hermione smiled to herself as she reminised on the past seven years, as tough as Draco tried to seem even though he deep down inside all along was a sweet guy. "I have known Draco for the past seven years, first as an enemy then as a best friend. What would you like to know about him?"

"I suppose I'd like to know him as a person. He doesn't seem to want to talk to me, you see. So I need all the insight I could get. And as one of his only friends who's visited, you're all I have to go on. What's he like? What are his relationships with his parents like, or do you even know?"

"His relationship with his parents?" Hermione choked out, nearly in tears. "He ummm...he is close to his mum. Really close, he'd risk his life to defend her. Him and Luc- his father must have always babied him because he was always talking in school about his dad hearing about things not going Draco's way and such but-" she stopped again, fighting back tears. "Some things have changed with the war, I don't think they even talk anymore."

The Healer frowned. "I'm sorry, I didn't know the question would induce tears," she reached out and handed Hermione a tissue. "The war has changed all of us," the Healer continued, "some more than others. I'm guessing that might be one of the reasons why Draco is here right now."

"Yes, it has," Hermione smiled, wiping her tears away, "It has really changed him, mostly for the better but I didn't see this. I knew he was upset over the baby but-" Hermione stopped herself, hoping the Healer didn't catch what she had said.

"Ah," the Healer sat back in her chair. "I thought you might have been pregnant. And it's Draco's?" she asked. "Don't worry," she assured, "what you tell me will be held in confidence." She went on, "This is important, Miss Granger. The more information you can give us, the more we can help Draco, and the sooner he can leave."

Hermione nodded, not wanting to discuss her son's conception but knowing that was the reason Draco was here. "Ok, I want to help however I can." She answered with confidence, "And yes, it is Draco's son. It happened-" She choked up as she puts her hand to her stomach, tears welling up in her eyes. "It happened during the war, our son is the whole reason why Draco won't talk to his father. Some things are unforgivable."

The Healer nodded, not quite understanding, and made some notes on her clipboard. "I know that Draco's father is a Death Eater...as is Draco. But what does Lucius have to do with your son? Did he rape you?" the Healer asked candidly.

Tears well up in Hermione's eyes as she bites her bottom lip, fighting the urge to scream out in emotional pain. "He umm...he didn't have a choice." Hermione answers, rubbing her lips together as she stares up at the ceiling as the tears start to stream down her cheeks. "He did it to save my life," Hermione whispered, holding her arm out across the desk, showing the glistening scar across her forearm. "I…I worked with Harry Potter during the war. Bel-, Draco's father and his aunt weren't exactly easy on me once they got me in the Manor."

The Healer studied Hermione. "You were on the run with Harry Potter...and you got caught by the Death Eaters?" she said. "Lucius raped you?" the Healer asked, drawing the wrong conclusion. "But I thought you said the child was Draco's?"

"No!" Hermione answered quickly. "Draco's Aunt Bellatrix," she forced the name out, knowing it was one the Healer would recognize and realize the severity of the capture. "She tortured me for information and whenever I tried fighting back she used crucio on me. She didn't get the information she wanted so sheand Draco's father, they decided that Draco should." Hermione stopped, sobs coming out between sentences as she spoke of the horrifying event. "They made Draco force himself on me, to get me to break. He didn't want to but-" Hermione looks up at the Healer, staring her in the eyes. "can we discuss something else? Draco is so much more than this one event."

The Healer looked at Hermione kindly. "I understand that, believe me, Miss Granger. And I believe you when you say this event does not define Draco. But, unfortunately, it is scaffolding for his illness. I appreciate your telling me this information. Mrs. Malfoy isn't nearly so forth-coming. She is proper and private and thinks I am meddling in the affairs of her family." The Healer handed Hermione the box of tissues on her desk. "I'm sorry to make you relieve this again. It must have been terrifying for both you and Draco. But you've obviously come to some sort of...truce? You said you're his friend."

Hermione smiled through her tears. "When I found out I was pregnant, I had given up on everything. I did nothing. Draco, he..he brought me back to life. He told me he wasn't having nightmares just so I could die on him him in the end. He slowly rebuilt me. Twice now he has saved my life."

The Healer smiled. "I can certainly see how that would create a strong bond. So...he never gave up on you? Is that what it is? Draco Malfoy...the boy who had to hurt you...also brought you back from the brink. That's extraordinary."

"No," Hermione laughed, knowing the Healer had no idea. "Draco Malfoy, the boy who spent six straight years harassing me, demeaning me, and calling me names. Draco Malfoy, the boy who I punched in the nose, breaking his nose once because he was so stuck on himself. Draco Malfoy, who literally got turned into a ferret and is a pompous annoying self-absorbed jerk, saved my life."

The Healer raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "You have an unparalleled gift for forgiveness, it would seem, Miss Granger. But now, it appears you are capable of bringing out the best in Draco. Clearly, he cares deeply for you. Do you have any idea why he would have started cutting?"

Hermione bit her lip, thinking. "I know there is patient confidentiality, but may I ask you how long it appears to have been going on? A lot has happened in the past four months." Subconciously, Hermione's hand returns to her still flat stomach.

"We argued the night before." Hermione mumbles, looking down. "About the rape. Was that the only occurrence?"

"I can't tell you more than that, Miss Granger. But...what is your best guess? Would you say that Draco was trying to kill himself?"

"Never," Hermione answered quickly. "I know Draco better than anyone, minus Blaise Zabini. He would never kill himself. Release pain maybe but-" Hermione's face goes white as she stops talking mid-sentence.

"Release his pain," the Healer repeated, steepling her fingers. "So perhaps, this last time, Draco was 'releasing his pain'…and…he went too far? Is that what you're saying?"

"I...I know when it started," Hermione interrupted.

"When do you think that was, Miss Granger?"

"Draco had gotten drunk once," Hermione spilled quickly, her words running into one another as she spoke, "he slept on the floor in our room. I slept in the bed. I had woken up and Draco was in bed with me. I got a little furious with him and blew up. That's when I noticed he had a gash on his arm and...and I cured it with the dittany." Hermione choked back tears. "I gave him a way to hide it."

The Healer reached out a hand, "I doubt you meant to, Miss Granger. Nobody's blaming you. What Draco did was his own fault, not yours."

"Hermione forces a half smile. "I know but I gave him a way to hide it. I thought I...I thought I was helping. That was a week ago."

"Right then," said Madam Adonna. "I daresay I've dragged up enough painful memories for one day. And thank you for your cooperation. I'm certain this will help us help Draco."

"Thank you for letting me help," Hermione nodded, "Can I...can I see Draco now?"

The Healer smiled, got up from behind her desk and said, "You certainly may." She led the girl back to the hall to Draco's room. "He's right in here, and I believe he's expecting you."

"Thank you, for everything," Hermione whispered to the Healer before looking at the doorway to Draco's room. Sighing, she takes a deep breath and walks in.


	24. Get Well

Draco looked up to see Hermione walk into his hospital room. Ever since he had been taken to St. Mungo's, he actually felt quite a bit better, at least physically. He was sitting up in bed and saw Hermione walk in. He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing at all.

"How are you feeling?"Hermione asked, noticing that Draco was starting to get his color back. He was still a little white and sickly looking, but Hermione tried convincing herself that was because he was in a hospital bed as she sat next to him in the chair.

"I'm all right," he said. "Hospital food is rubbish, though," he said, wrinkling his nose, hoping she wouldn't ask him to talk about anything else, but knowing she probably would.

"The hospital food?" Hermione asked, frustrated. "You nearly died and you're telling me about the food?"

Draco shrugged helplessly. "What do you want me to talk about, Hermione? My feelings?" Draco said with utter disgust. "This place is awful for that. It's always, 'How are you _feeling_, Draco' and 'tell us how you _feel_ about your suicide attempt, Draco.' I didn't try to commit suicide!" he said loudly, frustrated. "Why won't anyone believe me?" He raked his hands through his hair.

"I don't think you did," Hermione whispered, not knowing what else to say to Draco's openness.

"You don't?" he said hopefully. "You're the only one who really does...why don't you?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged, "I just know you wouldn't kill yourself. You just wouldn't." She puts her hand on his. "I almost didn't believe it when they told me you hurt yourself."

At that, Draco hastily looked away, mumbling incomprehensively. He subconsciously ran a hand across the large bandage on his arm.

"Well, I just didn't think...I figured...I'm sorry I argued with you, Draco." Hermione whispered, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have."

Draco turned to Hermione, his jaw dropping. "Oh no...you...you think that you...?" he questioned, horrified. How could Hermione think that she had been the cause of this?

"Of course, Draco. We argued and you went and slept in Blaise's room. You never came back in there. Then," Hermione takes her hand away from Draco's, setting it in her lap. She swallowed hard as she continued. "Next thing I know, Blaise is telling me you are in the Hospital Wing, that they thought it was a suicide attempt. I...I didn't know what to think except that if I hadn't argued with you-" Hermione looks down at her lap.

Draco barely shook his head. "I should have known you'd blame yourself," he said quietly, taking up her hand with his good one. "I...got drunk...a lot last week," he said softly. "After you fell asleep, I would...sneak out to the Hog's Head and have a few," he confessed.

Hermione nodded. "When did this start?"

Draco glanced painfully at the ceiling, as if merely thinking about this was hurting him. "It...was..." he swallowed, not wishing to hurt Hermione anymore. But Draco knew full well when his episodes of binge drinking and cutting had started. He just didn't want to tell Hermione. Or anyone, for that matter. "…I don't want to tell you," he whispered.

"Draco!" Hermione yelled, hushing her voice so that the Healers didn't hear her screaming at him. "You want to know what's pathetic? You will wake me up when you have a nightmare but you won't tell me this? Tell me," she growled, having no idea what else to say to get him to talk, so she added in, "or else."

Draco looked sharply at Hermione, surprised at her sudden change of attitude, thinking of a few cutting oaths he could send her way, most of them involving the word "Mudblood". But...something...about her...was...making him...

"It...it was last week," Draco said, his voice still soft, "after...after...you had your Healer appointment."

"When we saw-" Hermione squeaked, her voice betraying her.

"Yes," Draco choked, looking away from her again. "Now you see why I didn't want to tell you?"

Tears well up in Hermione's eyes. "Why?" she asked, guilt overwhelming her. She had been the one to ask Draco to go, she had argued with him, pushing him over the edge.

"See?" Draco gestured, throwing a hand out for emphasis. "Talking about things just hurts people. Can't we just stop?" he pleaded desperately.

"No, Draco, we can't!" Hermione screamed out in frustration and pain, "If you don't want to hurt people, don't drink yourself to death! Don't cut yourself in a lavatory! You don't think that hurt? Seeing you nearly dead! You were barely alive, Draco! Barely!" Hermione stood up. "And if you are going to be a selfish twit, I'm leaving." Hoping the brutal truth worked on him the same way it did Ron, she held her breath, mentally begging him to stop her.

"No!" Draco called out. "Please," he said, "don't go. I-" he gulped, "-I need you." He squeezed his eyes tight shut. "This...this is just hard, okay?" A tear worked itself out of his eye and trailed down his cheek. "You're right," he continued. "I was spoilt, I was selfish, I was the prat of prats."

"You were!" She screamed, shaking with emotion. "But this isn't fair to me for you to be acting like this! You...I...Ugh!" Hermione flung her arms in the air, frustrated, shutting her eyes as hard as she can. "Why?" She squeaked out in a whisper. "Why?"

"You want to know why, do you?" Draco said, his voice suddenly dead. He had to drain himself of emotion in order to say it all out loud, lest he lose himself completely. "Fine, I'll tell you. It's because I hated what I'd become. I hated where I came from, what I had to do, what I'd created because of it. All the pain, all the anguish, everything—I'm a monster, Hermione, and monsters deserve to be punished."

Hermione stormed up to the bed, grabbing Draco's face and pressed her lips hard against his. She had held in so much emotion this past week, this past month, since she had found out she was pregnant, that she couldn't help it. She needed to show him how much she cared about him.

Draco blinked rapidly, and stared at Hermione, her lips on his. Outwardly, he gave no reaction...none at all. But inside, he was going crazy. Did this mean Hermione actually...liked him? He pulled away from her lips slightly, whispering, "What was that for?" His heart was suddenly hammering in his chest.

"I'm not quite sure." Hermione answered, closing her eyes as she whispered the words onto his lips. She felt her cheeks redden with embarrassment for being so bold. "I like what you have become though," she doesn't pull away, allowing her lips to set centimeters away from his.

Draco's breathing sped up with their closeness. "Do you?" he whispered back to her. "What do you see in me, Hermione Granger? What do you see that I can't see?"

Hermione held her breath at the sound, the feel of Draco's voice whispering her name, not just Granger as he had so often called her growing up, but her full name. Her stomach fluttered with butterflies as she replied back.

"You are my hero, Draco. You are a hero now. You irk me more than anyone, you are sarcastic and smart and-" Hermione's words faded into the background, as it finally dawns on him that Hermione cares.

In spite of himself, Draco felt the corners of his mouth start to tug into a smile, but just barely. "Well, I've never been anybody's 'hero' before…" and then he leaned back over Hermione, finally grasping how much he meant to her…which was an awful lot. Gently, ever so gently, he pressed his lips against Hermione's, placing his right hand on the small of her back, pulling her a tiny bit closer. He deepened the kiss, hoping she would respond in kind.

Feeling her legs start to shake, Hermione leaned onto Draco, pressing her chest against his to try and make the shaking less obvious as she returned the kiss, allowing all of her fear and concern and desire for him to surge through the kiss as her heart started pounding as she felt his do the same against her chest. "What are we doing?" she asked, pulling away just enough for his lips to separate from hers and putting her forehead against his.

He leaned back, Hermione now leaning over him. She had just whispered something to him...but he had to shake himself to remember what it was, as his pulse was now throbbing in his ears. "I don't know about you," he whispered back against her lips, "but I'm...showing my feelings?" he smirked, ever so slightly.

Hermione smiled back. "See, and it's not hurting me in the least." She couldn't hide the smile now as she grinned from ear to ear. "In fact," she whispered, leaning in close again, her lips nearly on his, "I rather like it."

"As do I," Draco said, pulling her to him, covering her mouth with his.

Hermione reached behind him, running her fingers gently along the back of his neck as she deepened the kiss, wanting more and more of Draco. As she starts to take her other hand and place it on Draco's chest, she heard a slight knock on the door, causing her to quickly sit back down in her chair and try to fix her hair.

"Just coming in to check your vitals, Mr...Malfoy is it?" a young Healer asks, walking in.

Draco felt Hermione jump off of him, and Draco sat awkwardly back against his pillows, hoping the Healer wouldn't notice anything.

He was breathing hard after his contact with Hermione...he certainly couldn't help his heart racing...

"Your pulse is a little high," the Healer said, looking at Draco with concern, "your visitor isn't stressing you, is she? We can ask that she leave?" Hermione had never felt so uncomfortable as the Healer glared at her, running her wand over Draco to continue the check-up.

Draco swallowed quickly, saying, "NO! I'm fine, just fine," he said. Then he smirked. "In fact...I'm bloody fantastic," he swore, looking over at Hermione. "Tell me, just look at her," Draco said to the Healer. "How could she possibly stress anyone?"

The Healer nodded, not taking her eyes off of Hermione and finished up. "Well, let's try keeping your heart from _racing_ too much, shall we?"the Healer wrote down her notes on the board, quickly walking out of the room to her next patient.

"Oh," Hermione smiled, "I brought you something."

"Oh?" Draco asked, tilting his head at her.

Quickly, Hermione reached into her bag, pulling out the Get Well card and handing it to Draco. "It's from all of us at Hogwarts." She smiled, proud of herself.

Hesitantly, Draco reached out and grasped the card from her and opened the envelope.

He scoffed upon reading the signatures. "Zabini? Goyle? Nott?" then he snorted outright. "Potter?" he sneered. "Just how many of these people did you have to Imperius to sign this, Hermione?"

"Well, none of them," Hermione answered, still proud of herself. "They all wanted to show that they care. Pansy and Theo were more than excited to sign it."

Draco looked back up at Hermione, skeptical of anything with a Slytherin's signature on it. "Crucio?" he said. "Any of the Unforgivables?" He shook his head. "This just doesn't seem like them, Hermione. Why would they do such a thing? How did you coerce them?" Then he got a disgusted lookon his face. "Potter. Bleugh. Why, of all people, would you get him to sign a card for me?"

"You may not know this, Malfoy," she sneered, "but before you woke up Harry saved your life and no, I didn't use anything," she answered, hurt that he wasn't excited over the card. "These people did it because they care about you. I care about you."

Draco screwed up his face. "People don't care about me," he mumbled. "And Potter...what? He what?"

"Yes, Harry saved you. You were going to die at another wizard's wand and Harry saved your life again! And if these people didn't care, they wouldn 't have signed this...this stupid card." Tears of frustration welled up in Hermione's eyes, causing her to look away. "Harry saved you from that Fiendfyre, too, during the war," Hermione reminded, "that your idiot friend set ablaze, or did you forget that? If he didn't care, you would be dead."

"Oh," Draco mumbled. "Yes. That." He looked up at Hermione under hooded eyes. Then he shrugged. "I guess...I'm just not...used to people...caring, is all." Then against his better judgment, Draco reached out to Hermione, not wanting to see her cry...especially not over a silly card. He looked down at the card again, saying, "Okay, I was just kidding. I love it, Hermione."

Sniffling, Hermione looks back at him. "D- Do you really?" she asked.

"Like you said, they never would've have signed it if they didn't care, right? I suppose it's difficult to care for someone who slashed his own arm..." he muttered to himself. "If it makes you happy, I love it...the card, I mean."

"It does, and we have all done stupid things," Hermione smiled, "Slytherins are about simply surviving, right? When...when do you get to come back? I miss you. We—" she looks down at her stomach, placing her hand on it lightly "We miss you."

Draco nodded, agreeing with her, and replied, "I don't know. They don't seem to want to let me out of here unless I...talk about...my 'feelings,'" he sneered. Then he looked at Hermione. "You miss me, do you?" he said softly, looking at her stomach. He gulped. "I guess I should try a little harder, huh?"

Leaning in, Hermione kisses Draco lightly, her lips barely touching his, "Thank you," she whispered.


	25. Inner Demons

**A/N: I'm so glad you liked the Dramione interaction in the last chapter! It was so fun writing it. =) Draco still has a lot of struggles to overcome, though... Thanks, once again, for your reviews. They mean more than I could ever express.**

* * *

Narcissa held up her head, and strode purposefully into the room. The Healer woman, Madam Adonna, had just attempted to ask her some very personal questions regarding her life, Draco's life, and Lucius's life. Narcissa could hardly believe anybody would dare to be so intrusive about the Malfoy family.

"Draco, darling," she said, "we need to talk."

It had been a busy day for Draco, first Hermione and now his mother. He couldn't help but smile though, his two favorite women coming to see him. He could get used to that. "Yes, Mother."

She walked over to the bed and sat down next to her son. "There is this...Healer woman..." she said the words, and wrinkled her nose slightly, "who might be coming around here, poking her nose in our business. Asking questions."

"Mother, that's her job." Draco answered, knowing where this was going. "She has to ask, but I won't discuss-" he looked down at his arm, referencing the Dark Mark.

Narcissa gave a little huff. "Well, I would think you wouldn't discuss that at all," she replied. "How could it be her job, prodding in our familyaffairs?"

"I don't know," Draco snapped back, trying not to get harsh with his mother. "But I'm ready to get out of here. This place, this food. I don't know how father does it."

Well, just stay true to the Malfoy name," she warned. "And I don't mean the way your father does," she added softly.

Draco looked at his mother. He had just promised Hermione he would try to open up and now his mother was asking that he not. His mother, who had never steered him wrong, was telling him to keep his mouth shut.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, "You know what? Forget it! I'm tired, mother, I'm going to sleep." Rolling over, he turned his back to his mother, making sure she don't see the tears of frustration blurring his vision.

Backing away, Narcissa gave a small sigh of frustration, giving a last glance over her shoulder at Draco, and walked away out of the door.

He couldn't turn back over, even if he wanted to. Never in his life had Draco purposefully disobeyed his mother, mainly because she didn't lay many rules on him, but also out of respect. Never had he turned his back on her.

"I'm sorry, Mother," he spoke out to the wall, unsure if she were even still in the room. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too, Draco," she said softly, hearing him through the door. She knew she couldn't show it, but she was nearly as conflicted as Draco was at the moment. She just couldn't show him her vulnerability. She had to be strong, for Draco wasn't even being himself. It was the first time he had ever turned his back on her. And...it hurt, so she walked away, to let him collect his thoughts. Hopefully, leaving him alone would help.

* * *

Madam Adonna straightened her clipboard against herself, nodding at Narcissa Malfoy as she walked down the hall toward Draco Malfoy's room.

She rapped her knuckles on the door, determined to try to get something out of Draco this time. "Draco?" she questioned, it's Madam Adonna.

"Come in," Draco groaned, rolling back over onto his back in the bed s he wiped the tears away and sterned up his face, trying to appear more like a man.

"Draco," she continued, sitting down in the chair by the side of the bed, "how are you feeling today?"

"Ugh, this again? Can't we talk about who won the Quidditch cup or how's the weather? Do we really have to jump into this emotional rubbish?"

Madam Adonna's lips thinned as she said, "Draco, I am not the enemy here, you know. I am attempting to help you."

"I know you're not the enemy," he whispered, shaking as he thought about Hermione, "but I don't need your help. I just want to go home."

Madam Adonna sighed a small sigh of frustration. "Shall we try this again?" she questioned. "Tell me about...something that makes you smile?"

Draco thought about it, knowing he could answer this one without disobeying his mother. He pictured her chocolate brown eyes, her frizzy hair that never had body in the right places. A smile crept across Draco's face as he remembers the slight mumur she made as soon as she fell asleep every night, the way she would kick her feet while reading a book until she hit a really interesting spot, then they would stop. "Her name is Hermione," he answers, the smile on his face unmistakable now. "Hermione Granger."

"'Hermione,'" the Healer repeated, smiling with him. It was the first time she had ever seen the look on Draco's face. "Such a lovely name. Why does this Hermione make you so happy?"

Draco shrugged, "I don't know, she's just...she's smart, smartest witch of our age, and a firecracker. I love getting under her skin. She does this, this eyebrow thing when she's mad and I can only hope-" Narcissa's voice rang out in Draco's head, reminding him not to mention the baby. Quickly, the smile disappears. "I only hope she sees that," he answered.

"You only hope she sees her eyebrow thing?" the Healer asked in confusion. "…or…was there something else?" she prodded.

"I only hope that she sees how much I appreciate her," he answered, shutting down again.

The Healer looked over at Draco with sadness. For one glorious moment, he appeared to open up-but then she had lost him once more. "Draco, the sooner you can talk with me, the sooner you can leave."

"I am talking," Draco snapped. "You asked what makes me smile, I said Hermione. I talked."

"Then perhaps she would be able to loosen your tongue," said the Healer, as she stood up. "Good day, Draco." Then she put her quill on her clipboard and walked out the door.

Frustrated, Draco wanted to get up. He wanted to punch something, to tear apart his room like he could at Hogwarts but it was out of the question. He was confined to the bed and he hated it. "Dammit!" he screamed out in frustration, "Why me!"


	26. Apprehending Hermione

**A/N: Third update in 24 hours. Hooray! Hopefully this makes up for my absence two weeks previously. I am writing this story like crazy, the muse is burning bright. And as I read your reviews, I am struck with a question. How many people do I have from each Hogwarts House reading this fic? It is fascinating to see your handles and avatars, but I would really like to know-Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Gryffindor-give me a shout-out in the reviews, would you, please? I'd just like to get to know you a bit better. And as always, thank you!**

* * *

Pansy and Hermione had a talk at the Slytherin table after Hermione returned from St. Mungo's hospital.

"I just think it's unfair they made you go back to Gryffindor now that Draco's gone," said Pansy. "I mean, how much jarring change can one person take, anyway? First, they move Draco and then they send you back to Potty and the Weasel," she said, her lip curling in disgust.

Hermione smiled, glad to still have a friend in Pansy. "It's…it's okay, I'm making do."

"So how is Draco?" Pansy pressed.

"He's…Draco," Hermione said, with just a hint of sadness.

"What, is he still very ill?" said Pansy with worry.

"No, no, it isn't that," said Hermione, "it's just that…he won't talk about his issues."

Pansy looked at Hermione as if she had said something particularly daft. "Of course he won't talk, he's Draco Malfoy. And Draco Malfoy doesn't talk."

"I know that," Hermione said with frustration, "but they won't let him go until he does."

"Oh," said Pansy, frowning, "that is unfortunate." She thought about what Hermione had just told her and said, "But he's okay, right? At least physically?"

"He's much better than when he was here," Hermione confirmed. "Just wish he were here instead of there." Hermione folded her arms around herself, hoping Draco would keep his promise to try and do better.

"That's good," Pansy said, trying to cheer her up. "How did he like the Get Well card?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "He was…typical Draco," she said. "He asked me how many people I had to curse in order to get them to sign it."

Pansy frowned. "Does he really think that we don't care about him?"

Hermione looked at her and said, "Apparently. But…he's…trying."

Pansy nodded. "I can't imagine it would be very easy for him."

Hermione agreed, "Draco's got a lot to hide."

"Oh," said Pansy, "speaking of needing to hide, Ginny Weasley's been looking for you. I wouldn't trust her if I were you, Hermione. She's a Gryffindor, after all."

Hermione smiled a bit and said, "I'm a Gryffindor, Pansy."

"I know," Pansy said, "But you're…different. Look, just watch your back, okay? She steals people's boyfriends."

* * *

Ginny finally cornered Hermione just outside of the Gryffindor common room, on the way up the stairs to the dorms. It was the day after Hermione had visited Draco, and there was a lot on her mind. She would have avoided Ginny altogether if she were paying closer attention.

"I've got a bone to pick with you," Ginny said, folding her arms and setting her jaw. "Explain yourself."

Hermione gulped. "I…I know," she said quietly.

Ginny headed back into the Gryffindor common room so they could sit down. They were the only two there, as everybody else was still down at dinner.

"What did you mean by snogging Harry?" demanded Ginny.

Hermione held up her hands, "I know this might be hard to believe, but I didn't mean _anything_ by it."

Again, Ginny folded her arms, and glared hard at Hermione. "Let me get this straight—you were _on top_ of Harry, biting his bottom lip, with your hands in his hair, and you 'didn't mean anything by it'?"

Hermione looked down at the floor, trying to gather her thoughts. She herself hadn't known exactly why she had "attacked" Harry, as Pansy had put it.

"I…I was…stupid," Hermione said, tears welling up in her eyes, "I was confused."

"I see," Ginny said, her eyes hard, "so because you were confused and stupid, I should forgive you for snubbing my brother and snogging Harry?"

"No," Hermione said quietly, "I'm not asking for forgiveness," she said. "Just allow me to explain myself."

"Very well," Ginny said harshly. "Explain."

Hermione got out her wand and pointed it around them, casting a Muffliato spell, so nobody would be able to hear the pair of them discussing what Hermione was about to reveal to Ginny.

"It all started back at Malfoy Manor," Hermione began, when Harry, Ron, and I were on the run…" And Hermione, through many tears, told Ginny how Malfoy had been forced to rape her.

Ginny's eyes grew huge, and all of the ire dropped off her face. "So you…and…Malfoy," she said the name, as if it left a nasty taste in her mouth, "…were…_forced_ to have sex? And all this time, I thought it was because you _liked_ him…"

"Y-yes," Hermione sobbed, ignoring Ginny's jibe, as she again had to relive the pain all over again, less than 24 hours after the time she had to speak with Draco's Healer. "Bellatrix Lestrange was running the whole thing, and everybody just stood around and let it happen—including Draco's mother and father."

Shaking her head, Ginny said, "I still don't get it. Why sleep with him, Hermione? If he had to hurt you…"

Hermione smiled a bit through her tears, "That's the thing. Draco sleeps on the floor. And he knew he hurt me. He never once made me have sex with him, Ginny. Besides that one time at Malfoy Manor," she said ruefully. "And when I found out I was pregnant, I died inside. I was ashamed and shocked and hurt, and I felt I couldn't show my face to any of the Gryffindors—not you, or Ron, or even Harry—because, well because I didn't think you'd ever understand that Draco saved my life through his actions."

Ginny tilted her head at Hermione, "How…how could he save you, by raping you?"

"He told me he would make certain we got out of there alive. If he hadn't have…forced himself…on me, Bellatrix would have killed us. Draco manufactured a memory in his mind, and used Occlumency to fool Bellatrix into thinking he was harsh with me…and that he…that wasn't how he really was," Hermione finished.

"So….he…accepted you, how you were, damaged and all?" Ginny asked. "Was it out of guilt, or what?"

"I don't know," Hermione whispered, "but I know he wouldn't give up on me. I had stopped caring, stopped eating, stopped doing anything. I curled up in a ball in the Slytherin common room. But he eventually got me to eat, got me to care, got me to start going to classes again," she said.

"So…then you snogged Harry?" Ginny said in confusion.

Hermione sighed, ringing her hands. "That night, I was very conflicted. I was trying to sort out my feelings for Ron and Draco, when I thought that the answer was with Harry. He's warm, and caring, and…he listens. He always listens," Hermione said. "So I thought…mistakenly…that I belonged in his arms."

"I see," said Ginny, relenting a little. "So you've come to care for Malfoy, felt guilt about dumping my brother, so you snogged Harry because he's always been there for you?"

"That about sums it up," Hermione said with another sigh. "For what it's worth, Ginny, I'm really sorry. I've been so ashamed about it, I haven't even been able to tell Harry I was sorry for it yet. Every time I see him, it seems I'm crying or emotional or something like that, so I can only assume he's forgiven me." Then she looked to Ginny. "I would like it if you could do the same, but I understand if you can't."

Ginny looked away, obviously mulling over what Hermione had just revealed to her. "I still don't quite understand why you can care so much for Malfoy, but I can certainly understand why you were so confused, Hermione. I can only imagine how I'd feel if I were suddenly pregnant with Blaise Zabini's child," she said. "I suppose I could forgive you for snogging Harry."

Hermione's eyes grew wide and briefly she wondered if Ginny could read her mind about the conversation she had had with Pansy earlier.

"Thank you," Hermione said, reaching out a hand and placing it on Ginny's arm.

"Just don't _ever_ do it again," Ginny warned. "Elsewise, I'm not responsible for my actions."

Hermione held up her hands and said, "I think being knocked out was bad enough."


	27. The Plan

**A/N: I wanted to wish Draco Malfoy a happy birthday! We love you, Draco!**

* * *

Hermione skipped into Draco's room, a slight pep in her step as she had been looking forward to seeing him all week.

_Perhaps she would be able to loosen your tongue_, Draco heard the words of his Healer in his head, as Hermione kisses him gently.

"I have missed you, Draco." Hermione smiled, "How has the therapy been going?"

"It hasn't," Draco answered, not quite kissing Hermione back.

"What do you mean it hasn't?" Hermione asked, a sting in her voice as the smile disappears off her face. "You promised you would open up."

"It's not that easy. It's difficult talking about the rape, about the baby, about...you. I can't exactly come clean with my mum on the other side of the window staring in either," Draco answered, before looking behind Hermione at the door, ready to tell her his plan for getting out of St. Mungo's. "Did you shut the door?" Gently Hermione nodded, confused by Draco's question, "Come here," he whispered, patting beside himself on the bed where he was sitting.

Hermione walked over, concerned. "Draco, why did you ask if I closed the door?" She sat down gingerly.

"I wanted alone time with you," he whispered, running his fingers into her hair as he kissed her softly on the lips. Hermione returned the kiss, leaning back with Draco until they were both lying down on the bed, Draco underneath her. "You are beautiful," he whispered, kissing her fully, his mouth exploring hers as she ran her fingers along the back of his neck, ran her fingers through his hair, and gently tugging at the bottom of Draco's shirt, trying to subtly hint at him taking it off.

Burying his face into Hermione's hair, Draco knew the Healers on the other side of the camera in the corner of the room would believe they were just snogging and wouldn't break it up until clothing started coming off.

"Listen to me," he whispered into Hermione's hair, barely audible. Hermione had to focus to hear his voice, to focus on the words in order to hear what he had to say. "I...I can't do this on my own. I can't come clean. I can't open up. I need your help."

"What do you need?" she whispers back, her breathing husky with excitement.

"Veritaserum."

Quickly Hermione jumped up, trying to straighten her hair. "Absolutely not, Draco Malfoy!" She hollered. "Are you mental? The Healers would never allow it!"

"We aren't going that far," Draco answered, trying to act as if they were talking about shagging, "See," he glances up at the camera in the corner of the room, a condition of him being a suicide risk. "They would stop us before things went too far." Leaning in, he starts to kiss her again, pulling her back on top of him. "Now come here, I promise nothing bad will happen."

Hermione flipped her hair over to one side, draping their faces like a curtain so that she could look Draco in the eyes as she talked to him.

"They wouldn't let us." She whispered, "They would find out. The effects of Veritaserum are well-known, Draco."

"Hide it before you get here, put it in something. You can bring me a drink from outside. I need to do this in order to open up, Hermione, and I have to open up in order to get out of here." Reaching around to the groove in Hermione's back, he pushed her closer to him so that she is literally completely lying down on top of him. "Makes it look a little more intimate," he said seriously.

"I can't, Draco. We'll get caught."

"According to what I hear, you didn't care too much about getting caught when you used Polyjuice to sneak into the Ministry. What was that about, anyway? No one ever said what you were doing in the Ministry, just that you used the potion to sneak in."

"It doesn't matter," Hermione answered, a sting in her voice. "We're talking about you now, Draco."

"Hermione," Draco whispered, sending chills down her spine. She had never heard anyone speak her name quite the way Draco did. "Please? Can't we be together for graduation? I…I really need help…"

"Fine," she said with much reluctance, but finally relenting. "I promise, I will find a way to help you."

"Thank you," he whispered, covering her mouth with his. "I can't do this without you."


	28. Veritaserum

**A/N: SURPRISE! In honor of Draco Malfoy's birthday, I present another (extra-long) chapter! Not surprisingly, most of you who are brave enough to review are Slytherin. Only one was Gryffindor! I applaud you all for reviewing. Personally, Pottermore tells me I am Gryffindor, but I say SLYTHERIN, SLYTHERIN, SLYTHERIN! My co-writer for this story was Sorted into Ravenclaw by Pottermore.**

* * *

Hermione had been going in and seeing Draco once a week for nearly a month but graduation was coming up soon, just around the corner and Hermione need for Draco to be there, at Hogwarts. Hermione simply hadn't been able to make good on her promise to Draco to help him…and she wasn't about to use Veritaserum to start with, the way Draco had expected her to do.

"I'm simply saying, Mrs. Malfoy-" Hermione quickly hid around the other side of the corner, listening in on the conversation between Narcissa and Madam Adonna, Draco's Healer, "that we cannot release Draco, graduation or not, until he starts opening up. You can sit here and tell me about the rape all day but it doesn't mean anything to the St. Mungo's Admin Board until we hear it from Draco himself."

Hermione hung her head in defeat. It appeared that Draco would never open up to a stranger. He didn't even open up to her anymore, he didn't open up to Narcissa anymore. The only person Draco opened up to, and that was barely, was Blaise and not even Blaise could get him to admit his reasoning for hurting himself. Draco had stubbornly shut himself off emotionally from everyone. Now, Hermione knew what she had to do.

Hermione walked up to Narcissa. "Mrs. Malfoy, has Draco opened up at all?"

"Not yet, dear. I'm afraid until he does, he won't be making it to graduation."

"Can I...Can I try?" Hermione asked innocently, "Maybe I can talk to him."

The Healer opened the door, allowing Hermione inside the room with nothing more than a styrofoam cup of tea. The room was probably not the best of places to try and convince one to confess their deepest secrets, being of four white walls, two folding chairs and a folding table. It reminded Hermione more of the interrogation room she had seen in her father's detective movies than somewhere to ask a 'suicidal' patient how they were feeling.

"Draco," Hermione whispered, causing Draco to pick his head up off the table where he was resting it. He was tired of the Healers trying to get into his head and he wasn't in the mood to see Hermione here too.

"What are you doing here, Granger? Want to poke and prod at my head too? Try and figure out what I am thinking?"

"No!" Hermione answered with a snap, frustrated that he was even calling her by her surname again, frustrated with the sarcasm in his voice. "I was bringing you some tea, you inconsiderate ferret!"

In the other room, the Healer looked at Narcissa, who shrugged. Originally, she had wanted for Draco to keep quiet about it all, but she discovered that Hermione had told Madam Adonna everything already, so their secrets were already revealed. Plus…Draco couldn't miss his own graduation. He had worked so hard for it.

"This doesn't seem healthy for Draco," Madam Adonna says lightly, stepping towards the door.

"Don't," Narcissa answered, setting her hand on the Healer's arm. "If my boy is arguing, it's a step forward. I have seen this girl with my Draco. Watch, I have faith in her."

"Inconsiderate ferret, huh? That's touching, really it is," Draco answered, absent-mindedly taking a drink of the tea Hermione had given him. It tasted a tad bit watered down, but Draco blamed that on the hospital. "So why else are you here?"

"For the same reason I am here every week," Hermione answered, "I'm ready for you to come back to Hogwarts."

"I never thought I'd say it, but Hogwarts does sound rather nice right now," Draco smirked, taking another sip of tea.

"If you talk," Hermione whispered, setting her hand on his. "You can come back. I'll let you sleep in the bed?" She begged, "I'll sleep on the floor."

"As tempting as that is, Granger, I think I'll pass. I have no intention to tell them anything. Healers trying to invade my mind. Trying to find out about-"

"They know, Draco!" Hermione screamed at him. "Stop being selfish, they know about everything. They know that you hurt yourself! They know about our son, how he was conceived. They know everything!"

"Then they don't need for me to tell them," Draco answered, propping his feet up on the table. He grabbed the cup, finishing off the tea inside.

"Are you done with your tea?" Hermione asks casually, trying to look in the cup.

"Yes," Draco answered, handing her the cup. "And so is this conversation."

Hermione picked up the cup, "I just thought maybe bringing you something to drink would help you open up to them or to me at least," she looked at him seriously, and winked without smiling.

"How would a cup of tea help?" Draco asked, snarling his nose.

"How wouldn't it?" Hermione smiled slightly, walking over to the door, a very unlike Hermione smirk on her face. A very sneaky smirk on her face. She took the cup along with her making sure as to hide all traces of evidence of what she had done.

"You told me you knew the game," she said softly to Draco, her voice still begging him to come forward. "You said that until I came along you played the game well, and then I changed the rules. I just want you to know that I thought I knew the game as well. I thought I knew what I wanted until your lips touched mine and you changed everything. You changed the rules."

* * *

As she felt the doorknob latch under her hand, Hermione looks up at Narcissa then at the Healer. "I think he is ready to talk now," she said, walking away. Hermione fought back the tears and mentally begs Draco for forgiveness in what she knew she had to do.

Madam Adonna shared a look with Narcissa, questioning her. "Do you really think Hermione managed to convince him?" she asked Draco's mother.

Narcissa looked through the window at her son. "I thought I knew my Draco like no other." She answered, a choke in her voice as she fought back the tears. "I thought I knew my Draco and that he was stronger than all this. He seemed so happy to become a father, so happy to have a family of his own," Narcissa stopped herself, looking up at the ceiling, a woman of elegance, a real lady simply didn't cry. "Whenever he looks at Miss Granger, Hermione, I see my son soften up a little. I see the boy I used to love, the boy who used to make cookies with me and laugh, not the man his father forced him to become."

Madam Adonna reached out a hand, trying to assist the woman in front of her. "It's always difficult in cases such as this, Mrs. Malfoy," the healer assured. "Draco hasn't opened up to anyone at all, about anything. Perhaps I should try now?"

Narcissa was still reluctant—she didn't like anybody meddling in the affairs of her family, but if confessing would help her son, then he would simply have to do it. She nodded at the Healer, steeling herself for what Draco would eventually have to reveal—about her, about Lucius, about…everything.

* * *

Draco sat there, thinking about what Hermione had said about Draco changing the rules as well. Maybe she was right, maybe...Suddenly Draco's head starts to pound rapidly as he felt every secret he had ever kept hidden away exposed. Grabbing his temples, he clenches his jaw laying his head on the table. He felt like his head was exploding and his chest was constricting. He couldn't breathe as all the emotions overwhelmed him.

The pain stopped just as quickly as it had started, leaving Draco alone in an all-white room with only his memories to keep him company. That's when Draco realized it. The tea. Hermione had brought the tea in, she had taken the tea out. She had added Veritaserum in the tea.

Quietly, Madam Adonna steps into the room, half-expecting Draco to clam up and turn her away, yet again.

"Miss Granger said that perhaps you were ready to talk now?"

Draco glares at the Healer, snarling his nose. "Don't really have a choice in the matter now, do I?" he answers, hatred in his voice.

The healer raised an eyebrow. Draco was even more hostile than usual. She decided to try anyway. "What were you doing the night in Hogsmeade where you were found?"

Draco looks at her again, out of the corner of his eye. How could he avoid the question now, since he couldn't lie? He couldn't, it was obvious what he was going to have to do.

"Blaise had told me the night before that he thought Hermione cared about me. She's not supposed to care about me, so I was drinking to try and forget about her,"cringing, he cursed Hermione forever doing this to him. For ever making him expose the monster he truly was…he couldn't believe, that at one point, he had actually begged her to help him.

"I...see," replied Madam Adonna, hardly believing that Draco was finally opening up. She jotted some stuff down on the clipboard she was holding in her hands before asking another question. "Why isn't Hermione supposed to care about you?"

Draco knew this was coming. Standing up, he pushed himself hard away from the table. He starts to pace back and forth, frustrated as the thoughts resurface in his mind. Slamming his hands down on the table, he stares into the Healer's eyes, causing her to jump a little.

"Do you know my Aunt Bellatrix? Bellatrix Lestrange? I know you know my father, the psychopath in the room down the hall, the one who believes he is still getting jobs from the Dark Lord? They were vicious to Hermione, they tortured the hell out of her and then they...they...they told me if I didn't rape her, if I didn't get information out of her, they would kill us both. And they would have. My father would have sodding killed us both for the greater good. I apologized and I kissed her, I kissed her like I had wanted to for years, every time she would look at me I wanted to kiss her, every time she'd hex me and it made me sick because she was a Mudblood and I would ruin my blood by mating with her, but I kissed her and then I...I did what I had to do to save her life." Tears of anger were streaming down Draco's face now as he sat back down, putting his head in his hands and hid his face.

At this point, Madam Adonna scribbled on her notepad furiously. She turned to him again and asked, "So...your father and Bellatrix made you rape Miss Granger," she restated. "Clearly, this affected you deeply. You admit to me you kissed her, as you had always wanted to. Was the rape an agreeable thing for you? Was it something you wanted to do, too?" she asked impassively, shielding the question from any and all emotion.

Draco picks his head up, fury in his eyes. "What kind of a bloody question is that? Do I look like Aunt Belle to you? Do I look like my father? No, I didn't want to hurt her. I would never hurt Hermione. I mean ,sure, I said some hateful things to her, made her cry but that was to push her away. She was better off without me. I'd never do something like rape her if I had a choice. I…" _Fight it Draco, fight it, replace it. Find a new word._ "…I care about her."

Of course, Adonna had already guessed that the rape had never been something Draco had wanted to do. She just needed him to answer her questions with honesty. She had hoped such a direct, hard question would shock him. It appeared to have been just the thing.

"So," said Adonna softly, "You care for her. You did something bad to her. Has she forgiven you for it?"

Draco nodded, putting his head back in his hands. "Yeah, that's the problem. She's all...Muggle about it. Like 'it's okay. I forgive you.' How the hell can you forgive someone for something like that? I was...I am the only guy she's ever been with. Now don't get me wrong, I've fooled around in the past. With the Malfoy name, I don't even need charm to get the ladies, but...but that's not how I wanted to take her." Draco looks up at the Healer. "I see the way she looks at me sometimes and it makes me sick. Potter was right, I should have just killed myself trying to save

her instead. She'd be better off. I...She thinks I'll be a good father and I won't. I'm terrified because…what if I turn out like Lucius? What if my son turns out like me? That's why I was drinking. That's why I…" Draco looks down at his arm then back up at the Healer, "I wasn't trying to kill myself," he mumbled.

"You started cutting because you're afraid you'll be a bad father, is that it?" the Healer pressed.

"I started cutting because it felt good," Draco answered, not an ounce of emotion in his voice. Not an ounce of emotion on his face. "I started cutting because the alcohol wasn't doing its job anymore. Even with the alcohol, I could feel Hermione's lips, her touch."

"So it's guilt," Adonna surmised, "that's been eating you alive."

"Guilt?" Draco asks, "Yeah, guilt is a nice way of putting it. I keep telling myself there is something I can do. Somehow I can make Hermione forget it all but I can't. I mean, sure I could Obliviate her but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't let myself make her forget that I…" _new word Draco. Different word. Different word_. "…That I—saved—her."

"It's okay to feel guilt, Draco," Adonna said kindly. "In fact, you did what you intended to do all along-you saved her life." Then the Healer looked straight into his eyes. "Would you rather Hermione be dead?"

Draco bit his tongue as the emotions started overwhelming him again, the hatred for his father and his aunt, the fear of being a bad parent, the pain of seeing Hermione cry. Taking his feet of the table, he leans forward. "She was dead," Draco whispers in a monotone voice. "For two months after the rape, I watched her walk around dead. For three weeks she lay in my bed not moving, barely blinking. Dead. She spent her entire first trimester dead. Want to know what brought her back? Me. Not Potter or Weasley. Me. Want to know why?"

"Of course I do. Tell me, please," the Healer replied.

"I saved Hermione because whenever I saw her walking around dead, I realized that without her, I may as well be dead too."

"Right then, Draco, I think you've talked quite enough for one day. I will come back tomorrow to discuss things with you again. Are you able to handle that?"

Draco looks up at her, his grey eyes meeting hers. "If you leave now, I will never speak of this again," Draco answered, the truth serum working its magic. "And I'd rather like to go back to Hogwarts again. I have no intent on hurting myself again."

The Healer narrowed her eyes at him, scrutinizing her chart and his eyes. "Did somebody slip you some Veritaserum, then? Is that why you've been talking to me so openly?"

Draco bit his tongue, clenching his eyes shut. He knew better than to fight the answers, that it would just make his head pound, but he also knew he needed to get out of there. "One can assume," he answered, opening one eye "but I have no proof either way."

"I see," she answered quietly. "So...while you're still under the influence of this potion-or-not, you did tell me you have no intention to hurt yourself anymore. Why is that?"

Draco looked up at the Healer, "Because I don't. The last thing that went through my mind that I remember was Hermione. I don't want people telling my son that I raped his mother. I don't want them telling my son that I was Lucius. I...I have to live. I have no other choice."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Draco," the Healer said. "it's a very healthy attitude. I will discuss with the others what I have heard tonight," she continued. "However, I highly doubt you will be released back to Hogwarts yet, seeing as how you will not willingly talk about what's going on with you."

Draco felt anger filling him. "I'm talking, aren't I?" He stood up, yelling, slinging his chair behind him. "I don't have to talk and I never told you if I drank the serum," he had to watch his words carefully now. "I told you that I raped Hermione! I raped her and I hated every minute of it. I told you that I cut myself but I didn't want to die and I promise I will never do it again! The only thing I didn't tell you was why I can't let go and that's private!" He screamed, slamming his fist on the table.

The Healer looked at him with disappointment. "Draco, anger isn't going to help you," she admonished," so you had best learn that right now. As I have stated, I will talk with the others about what I have observed here. Good day," she said, making notes on her chart as she walked away.

_Say something, Draco. Say something before she walks out the door_. _Say something willingly_. "I never wanted to take the Dark Mark. I...I still puke at the thought of the rape. And I...I love Hermione Granger. Look at me ma'am, please!"

The Healer carefully straightened her back and slowly turned around. "Ah," she said, with a faint smile, "a true breakthrough." Then she reached out to Draco and continued, "what you don't know is that the effects of Veritaserum can be fought, somewhat. The important thing was to make certain that you weren't aware of that. I will hold all of what you have told me here in highest trust, but know that it might help you heal if you tell Hermione how you feel about her," she said gently. "At least think about it."

Draco looked at her. "I will talk about the rape all day if I have to. I will tell you-" Draco stopped himself, looking at the window where he knew his mother stood. "I'll tell you anything you need to know," he mumbles through his teeth, "I just want to be able to hold Hermione when she wakes up from the nightmares that I have caused. Can't you do something?" Draco asked, a tear streaming down his cheek. "What do you need to know?"

"You have been through a lot, Draco, the past few months...or even the last couple of years. It's not small miracle that you made it so long without doing something quite as self-destructive as cutting." The Healer said, "I am your case manager, so I will put in a good word for you," she said. "But it will take a least a day before you are released. Just tell me one more thing. Did you ever intend to kill yourself?"

Draco looked the Healer in the eyes, his voice monotone again. "If I wanted to die, I would have told my Aunt Bellatrix to sod off."

"Very well," the Healer nodded with finality. "Thank you, Draco, for sharing with me what you have today. I'm certain it wasn't easy. We will let you know of our decision tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night? No, you don't understand! I...I need to be with Hermione tomorrow night. Please? She needs me." Draco's eyes pleaded. Hermione hadn't needed to say anything, the full moon reminded him that the anniversary of that date was drawing near again, he had her nightmares down pat. "She needs me."

"Yes, Draco, tomorrow night. And no sooner," she said. "Don't test me."

Draco looked down, sitting on the floor in the white room. "I'm sorry, Hermione...for everything."


	29. The Lambasting of Lucius

**A/N: For those of you who read Deluminator, I'm sorry I haven't been posting on it lately. Emovere is about all I can handle right now. Thank you so much for your reviews.**

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Lucius Malfoy stepped quietly down the hallway to visit his son. He followed Madam Adonna down the hall. She had said something about Draco trying to take his own life, but Lucius didn't believe them. He knew that it had to be the Imperius Curse put on Draco. Draco would never deliberately hurt himself. His son was strong and noble.

* * *

Draco sat on the side of his bed, thankful that the Veritserum had finally worn off. It was hell trying to keep his thoughts, his feelings, to himself and in the Psychiatric Ward of 's, it was even harder. He couldn't believe Hermione had actually done that, that she had the nerve to trick him into honesty like that after all. And especially he couldn't believe that he...that he had said all those things about her to Madam Adonna.

Lucius was determined to find his son and get to the bottom of whomever had hurt him. He would take it upon himself to make sure the person who had hurt Draco would get the punishment they deserved. He didn't care that he was in St. Mungo's; he was Lucius Malfoy, and people were bound to listen. He knocked smartly on the door to his son's room. "Draco," he said loudly, "I am here."

The knock on the door broke Draco's train of thought. "Perfect," Draco answered sarcastically, a cold tone to his voice. "Come in," followed by a mumble under his breath. "I guess." He had been avoiding his father his entire stay at 's and after today's 'therapy' session, was hoping he could leave quietly without Lucius noticing. Obviously, he hadn't gotten so lucky.

Lucius backed into the room, certain he had been followed. Well, of course, he had been followed, by hospital staff-but he was thinking about more Death Eaters.

Suddenly, Lucius spun around, suspiciously narrowing his eyes. "This room could be bugged," he declared.

Draco couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Reason number 21 why I don't belong here," he mumbled to himself, "I'm not like that," then he smirked to himself. "You know, I think it is. Thought I heard something last night about You-Know-who suspecting betrayal." Draco knew better than to tease his father, but he convinced himself it was for the 'greater good'.

"I knew it," Lucius breathed, "I knew he was the Dark Lord was back. Any suspicions on who got you in Hogsmeade? Was it Nott? Goyle? Dolohov?"

"Nott?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow, "Goyle? Really? No, I handled the slicing and dicing myself, thanks for the love and concern," he snarled.

Lucius looked at Draco. His son was certainly behaving oddly. But it certainly wasn't the first time he had thrown ire at Lucius.

"The 'slicing and dicing'?" Lucius quoted. "Do you mean how you defended yourself? Really, Draco, I'd just as soon you used a wand. That's what a proper Malfoy would do," he said unctuously. "Incidentally, why would they attack you there?" he said, examining Draco's heavily-bandaged forearm.

Draco stood up, looking his father in the eyes. "Don't tell me what a proper Malfoy would do. I'd just as soon get rid of the name." Draco mumbles through a locked jaw. "And by slicing and dicing I mean I did to myself, _father_," he spat out the last word, hatred filling him. Every time he heard about Malfoy pride or being a proper Malfoy he saw Hermione's deep brown eyes.

Lucius blinked. Had he heard right? Had Draco just confessed to hurting himself? "Were you Imperiused?" He asked his son, grasping at straws. The alternative was unthinkable.

Draco shook his head, his father clearly not getting it. "Remember that friend of Potter's? The girl?"

A dim light goes on in Lucius's head. "Ah yes," his lip curled slightly. "The mudblood. What of her?"

Draco felt more hatred fill him, starting at his toes and working its way up. "Her name is Hermione." he spat at his father, "not 'Mud-blood'. And I was no more Imperiused than I was when you forced me to hurt her." Taking a deep breath, he thanked the Healers for taking his wand before snarling his nose again. "Congratulations," Draco told his father.

"I don't understand, Draco," Lucius said. "Why do you care about this...girl? And congratulations, for what?"

"'This girl' is carrying the Malfoy heir, thanks to you. That's why I care. Congratulations!" Draco knew his best bet was to get Lucius off of the topic of his arm. He could be strong about Hermione, he couldn't defend himself on being weak-minded, as his father would see it.

Slowly...Lucius backed away, and stumbled into a chair behind him. He sat down awkwardly, holding his head in his hands. "But...but...Draco, how could this happen? Surely, you don't care for her...?" he said stupidly, completely missing Draco's point. "And how could I have caused this?"

Draco, now frustrated with the situation stared at his father. "LUCIUS!" He screamed, having never called his father by his first name, but convinced himself this man wasn't his father since the war anyway. "I care about Hermione. I saved her life and now, she is giving you a grandson because you forced me to hurt her! Do you not see this you underminded imbecile!"

Lucius's eyes opened wide. His son had been angry with him before, but not like this. Not...using his first name. "She doesn't even like you, does she? Doubtless, she doesn't want the child anyway…so then we can just leave this whole messy business behind us."

Draco stood and stared at his father, more anger than he thought possible filling his body from the inside out. "Are…are you kidding me?" Draco yelled. "How dare you even suggest such a thing! 'Messy business'…" quoted Draco with rage, "Hermione and I are willing to deal with the consequences of what you _forced_ us to do just to survive, and yet…you dare to even hint that Hermione wouldn't want to keep the baby? I can't even _believe_ you'd suggest such a thing! Hermione will _not_ be aborting our child! Sorry to disappoint you, _Lucius Malfoy,_" Draco said the name with such disgust that Lucius stared at him, "but you'll have to deal with looking at your grandson the rest of your natural life! No clean and easy outs for you!" Draco ground his teeth together, "Just like I have to deal with the consequences if my own actions, _Father_. Nobody cursed me into hurting my arm, I did that all on my own."

Lucius's first inclination was to become angry straight back at Draco, but...something seemed to have changed in Lucius's mind. Perhaps it was the shock of too much information; perhaps it was the thought of a Muggle-born carrying his grandson... "Very well," Lucius replied with quiet fury. "If you are determined to go through with…this…_thing,_" he clipped, "so be it."

Another more serious thing penetrated Lucius's psyche. He thought for a good long time before speaking again. "Draco..." he questioned in a small voice, "you did this...horrible thing...to yourself? Why? Why ever would you do such a thing?" He simply had to know. Draco had nearly died, and if it was because of something self-inflicted, Lucius genuinely wanted to know how he could help his son.

Draco sighed, knowing better than to keep this from his father. His mother had heard it under the truth serum, his father could hear it now. "I did it because you made me rape Hermione. Everytime she would put my hand on her belly or mention the baby, I thought about how much I was going to be like you, was I going to make my son do that to a girl for fame? For glory?" Draco snarled his nose in disgust "And no matter what I did, I heard you tell me to bring honor, I heard Aunt Belle tell me to be a man. I was done with it. You are the Mudblood, not Hermione. I cut to rid myself of you."

Lucius stared at Draco in shock. He had always taught his son to be proud of the family name, proud of everything he had done. "H-how," and Lucius choked on his own words, "...why...you'd do this, because you-hate-being a Malfoy?"

Draco had known this wouldn't be easy. "If being a Malfoy…" he said, calming down a bit. For the first time in his life, it appeared Lucius was actually willing to listen. "I used to think it was about pride and honor and respect but...during the war I realized it wasn't and if what happened during the war with you is being a Malfoy, then, no." Draco looked at his father inquiringly. "Have you ever done that?" he sneers.

"H-have I ever done what?" Lucius said softly, absorbing all of his son's anger. Draco glares into his father's eyes, his own eyes ice cold. "Have you ever forced yourself on a woman like you made me do to Hermione?"

Lucius gulped, hard. The man had never had to force himself on anyone; the women had come practically gift-wrapped because of his power, status, and influence. "No," Lucius whispered quietly.

"Then why did you think you could make me?" Draco spat, hoping his words hurt as he sits back down on the bed.

Lucius held a hand to his chest, as if Draco were wounding him. "I...I..." Lucius spluttered. Why had he made his own son force himself on the Granger girl? Not even he himself had an answer for that. "...it was...for...for information...about P-Potter's whereabouts...and..." it sounded like a feeble excuse, even to Lucius's own ears. The fact remained that Lucius had stood by, because he, himself, had been terrified of the consequences of disobeying Bellatrix and the Dark Lord. But he couldn't quite bring himself to tell Draco that.

"Yeah," Draco answered, calmly, "I know. I had to brush away the tears."

Again, Lucius's first inclination was to mock Draco for how weak he had been. But who was he to say? Lucius himself had backed away from defending his son to Bellatrix. He had spent the last several months in St. Mungo's mental ward, so something had obviously snapped in both Draco's and Lucius's minds. Lucius stood up out of the chair, walked toward Draco, and said, "Do...do you really care for the...the girl? She means that much to you?"

Draco looked up at his father, curling his lip. "Do we really have to talk about this?"

"No," Lucius answered hastily, "I suppose not. Your actions speak louder than your words," he said. And for one of the first times in his life, he felt real guilt. He took a step closer to Draco, his only son, the son he had nearly lost, due to his own selfishness, "I...I...I'm..." his words faded off, as tears filled his eyes. "For what it's worth...I'm sorry if it was me that...drove you to-to do this," he said, gesturing to Draco's forearm.

"Thanks," Draco answers in a soft, monotone voice. He had never seen Lucius cry in the whole of his life. "It's obviously a boy."


	30. Off the Record

Once again, Madam Adonna held her clipboard to herself, making the last of the few notes upon it that she ever would about Draco Malfoy-at least from her post at St. Mungo's hospital. Knowing the young man would want to hear her news as soon as possible, she quickened her pace. She knocked upon his door and said, "Draco? Draco Malfoy?"

"The one and only," Draco answered. "Did you work your magic? Can I go?" Draco asked, trying to sound like he had Malfoy pride, standing up from where he was sitting on the bed.

Madam Adonna could see just how hard Draco was trying to pretend that yesterday had never happened. She suspected that he hadn't actually been given Veritaserum after all, considering all of the emotion he managed to throw her way. But it wasn't any of her business to tell him in this case. That was entirely up to Hermione Granger.

The Healer smiled and said, "Yes, Draco, they are in the process of signing your release papers right now. There are a few conditions, however. The first and biggest is that I'm going to Hogwarts with you."

"You're going to what?" Draco demanded, the look of hope falling off his face. "No, you don't understand," he shook his head, smirking at the thought. "You must be joking, woman. I have a reputation to uphold and I can't do that with you breathing down my neck. I don't need a bloody babysitter, I'm a grown man."

"No, you don't understand. Nobody will need to know I'm even there for you. McGonagall has been even been contacted. Narcissa knows. A special staff position has been opened just for a guidance counselor at Hogwarts, specifically to meet the needs of the students who have been suffering effects of the war. You haven't been the only one with issues, Draco."

"I am not talking to you at Hogwarts. No way, this is the biggest load of rubbish imaginable. I am not a pansy, I am not, I am not Nott," Draco resolved, "Once I get to Hogwarts, this bloody suicide thing is done, over with."

Madam Adonna sighed. "I believe you," she said. "The problem is, the others on the board don't. And I have to do what they tell me to."

Draco shook his head and folded his arms petulantly. Then he looked up at Adonna and asked, "You won't talk to me? Won't even act like you know me? Nobody will know? No more of this therapy crap?"

"I will, of course, have to bring you into my office to give the appearance of talking, but-" she looked around and faced him, leaning in very closely, "-it doesn't have to be like how they think it is, all right?" she said.

Draco nodded. "I like the way you think. What are the other conditions, then?"

"The other conditions are that you need to sign an official document saying that you won't hurt yourself anymore. Not my rules," she said, "theirs. The sooner you sign this," she said, handing him her clipboard and her quill, "the sooner you can go."

Draco read the paper, making sure there were no hidden stipulations to the form. He was a prior Death Eater and knew how people could, would manipulate things, especially when it came to a required signature. Signing his name, he handed the parchment back to the Healer.

"Can never be too careful," he said, "Are those the only stipulations?"

"Yes," the Healer nodded, "that's it." Then she smiled. "You seem...surprised."

"A little bit, yeah," Draco answered, looking down.

"As I told you before, I'm not the bad guy. I believe in you," Madam Adonna said softly. "You deserve to go graduation. You went through hell and back several times to get there."

"Thanks, I guess." Draco answered, "Hey ma'am, umm...do you have any children?"

The Healer got a faraway look in her eyes before answering him. "I had a son, once." Then she shook herself and looked at him, "Why were you needing to know?"

Draco shrugged, losing his bad boy touch. "What if I do turn out like Lucius?" he asked, putting his head down. "I know he didn't look at me as a baby and say I'd be his human sacrifice for the 'greater good', it just happened."

"Draco," said the Healer, happy that he was actually confiding in her, "believe me when I say that parents are more than capable of making mistakes. The very fact that you recognize this, is, in and of itself, a huge breakthrough. You fear being like Lucius, yet that very awareness is the one thing that will prevent this from being so. Besides," she said, her lip curling slightly, "I happen to know you are nothing like Lucius was. But at least he's changed now, somewhat."

"Really?" Draco asks, curiosity getting the best of him now. His mother, his professors even, had always told Draco he was the spitting image of his father at that age, no matter what the age was, and up until the war, Draco had taken that with pride, wanting to be just like his father. "What...what was my father like?"

Madam Adonna sighed. "I don't know if I should be telling you this, Draco. I'm afraid my...my opinion of him is rather biased."

"All my life, I had heard nothing but the fact that I will be the next Lucius, sometimes with pride, but mostly people trying to take a jab at me, or with fear in their voice," Draco confessed, looking down, "You are the second person who has told me, in my entire life, that I am not like my father and knew my father at a young age," Draco rubbed his eyes, not believing he was confessing this, "Dumbledore was the first."

"I never knew your father when he was the age you are now," Adonna said, "but I did have acquaintance with him," she hedged. "In his past."

"But you know something," Draco continued, "something that tells you I am not him."

"All right," said Madam Adonna, screwing up her resolve, "I'll tell you. Lucius was vile and cruel and heartless. He stopped at nothing-and I mean nothing-to get what he wanted. He wasn't above murdering people to serve his needs, Draco. I don't know if you're aware of that, but his...penchant for punishing people who went against his beliefs went well beyond torture and into killing them. Have you ever killed anyone?"

Draco shook his head, feeling the familiar taste of bile in his mouth. "I...I was supposed to kill someone, the one person who only wanted to help me." Draco looked down, his face white, "I couldn't do it. My father never let me live it down." Suddenly, everything clicked in Draco's head as he looked at Adonna. She had lost a son, her views on his father were biased, and then she confessed that Lucius was a murderer. "And I...I'm sorry about my father," he whispered, "and what he must have done to your family."

Madam Adonna shook her head, shocked and amazed that Draco had managed to draw the proper connection between she and Lucius. "And I thought I was being so subtle," she mumbled ruefully. "You are too intelligent for your own good. But Draco, I can hardly hold you responsible for the actions of Lucius."

Draco shrugged, "Everyone else does," he whispered, looking down at the table. He couldn't believe it. The man who would come home and tuck Draco into bed as a child had the blood of innocent lives on his hands. He saw no problem with torturing a person and then would kiss Narcissa on the cheek and ask her what was for dinner. "He's just like Bellatrix," Draco mumbled into the table.

Madam Adonna shook her head vehemently. "That's where you're wrong. From what I know about Bellatrix Lestrange, she was a true psychopath, Draco. Lucius is not. In fact, the very reason he's here is because he could no longer deal with the reality of what he'd thrust upon his own family. Guilt and fear, Draco-the very same things that made you snap, made him snap." Then she sighed. "Besides, even murderers are forgivable."

"You forgave him? Why? That's...that's...that's the craziest thing I've ever heard, no offense." Draco sneered, "If he took Hermione from me, my son from me-" Draco let the sentence end there, not needing to go any further.

"Yes," Madam Adonna answered truthfully. "Because hating him for killing my son and my husband was eating me alive. It doesn't make what he did any less painful, and it certainly doesn't make it okay. But...in Lucius's own vaunted mind, he was doing what he thought would help his own family be safe and protected. How could I fault him for that? Instead I pity him now, because of what he shoved aside. You-a wonderful, kind son-oh yes, Draco, you are capable of being kind, whether you admit it or not-he has misled you most of your life. I don't have that type of guilt to deal with. He does. And even he is singularly incapable of doing so."

Draco nodded slowly, listening to the woman in front of him. "Then I guess I'm not like my father," he whispered. "Things went sour before Hermione." He looked up at the mirror on the wall. "Is anyone in there?" He asked, not needing to be told that his mum had seen him on the Veritserum. "And don't lie to me." He barked, the Malfoy coming back in his voice for a split second.

"No," she answered honestly. "Nobody's watching. They are signing your release papers."

"And my mother?" Draco asked, not wanting her to hear this.

"As far as I'm aware, she has yet to arrive this evening," said Madam Adonna.

"She's probably angry with me for coming clean," Draco whispered. "If I tell you something, can it stay off record? Just in case the Dark Lord does return?"

The Healer looked at him hard, not wanting to go against protocol, but it was clear that Draco needed to tell something to someone. "Whatever you say will remain safe with me."

"I..." Draco stopped himself, trying to think of how to word it, "A select few people know this. Hermione is not one of them, she would never forgive me. I was supposed to kill Albus Dumbledore. I got up there, put my wand in his face and he said he could help me. That he could save me, and I couldn't kill him... I made one of the greatest men in the world actually kill him for me. That was when things between me and my father went sour. Lucius had been pushing the Dark Mark on me and...and I had to watch one great wizard kill another. Two of the greatest wizards in the history of mankind, and they both died from the Dark Lord's wishes." Draco sighed, "I've never told anyone that," he whispered.

The Healer stared at him for a time, contemplating all he had just revealed to her. Though she clearly wondered why on earth he had chosen to confess such a thing to her, one thing was clear. "More guilt, Draco?" she questioned softly. "There is something you need to know right now. Refusing to kill someone—especially someone you care for—is not a weakness, Draco. That is something Lucius taught you, and it is false. Killing people shreds your soul. I daresay that is why Lucius is still where he's at right now, months later, and why you are ready to be released after four weeks."

"That's how Hermione knew I couldn't kill myself," Draco thought out loud. "She must have known I don't believe in killing, even myself. Lucius never let me hear the end of that one, Bellatrix told him. She told him I had Dumbledore right in my grasp, and Lucius told me I was weak. That I wasn't a Malfoy and I would have to redeem myself." Draco continued spilling everything to the Healer, "He meant redeem myself as a Death Eater, he meant..." Draco stopped himself, "I didn't know what he meant until Hermione was already half-dead."

"Draco," said Adonna seriously, "while it is admirable you are trying to recompense for Lucius's actions, it is not up to you. For whatever reasons, you have been able to care for Hermione, despite everything you have been told to the contrary. Hold onto that. That kind of regard for human life only comes from within. It is not up to you to pay for Lucius's actions. It is not up to you to sacrifice everything in order to regain what he has lost, especially considering through his own mistakes...he caused you to lose so much of yourself. _Don't _let Lucius drag you down with him."

"I'm done with him," Draco replied, "I am going to... Hermione doesn't know it yet, but I am going to make her a queen. I am going to do everything in my power to give her a Malfoy lifestyle without the Death Eaters."

Madam Adonna smiled at him, "Then I wish you both the best of luck in your life together."


	31. Be Proud of Yourself

Hermione felt the tears well up in her eyes as she looked through the old shoebox of photos. The pictures were hard to look at, but it gave her comfort nonetheless. A picture of Hermione and her mum baking cookies when she was a young girl, Hermione covered in flour. A picture of Hermione's dad kissing her mum on the boardwalk, his arms around her waist. She even had a picture of her dad pushing her on a bike, her first bicycle ride. She had fallen over nearly ten times before he whispered in her ear.

"One day, you will change the world, Hermione," he whispered, letting go of the bike. Wobbling at first, Hermione finally got to get the bike to stay up, riding it for the rest of the evening in circles around her father until her mother called them both in for dinner.

Hermione touched the picture of her and her father, reliving the memory. Draco stormed into the room, shutting the door quickly behind him.

"One more person," he grumbled, plopping down beside the array of photographs on the bed. He rubbed his hand over his face as if to wipe the day away, and continued, "I loved it the first, oh, I don't know, _hour _that the ladies kept asking how I was doing. The first _hour_ that they asked to see the scar, to see if I needed anything."

Hermione knew better than to worry whenever Draco talked of other women adoring him. He was Draco Malfoy after all—and Draco Malfoy after a life-altering 'attack'. Hermione expected he would be attacked by groupies after he had come back to Hogwarts, and she had been right.

"But seriously, after about the sixth or seventh girl, telling the same story over and over, I was ready for it to be over with. They are worse than the bloody Healers. Instead of 'How do you feel about this?', now it's just 'Are you okay?' and 'You poor thing'. If I have one more person ask who attacked me, I think I will hex Blaise for starting the bloody rumor." Draco looked at Hermione, who wasn't even paying attention. He laid along the bed, propping his head up on his hand. "What are you looking at?"

"Pictures," Hermione said tearfully, still not looking up.

"Pictures of?" Draco asked, looking at one of the pictures lying on the bed. It was a picture of Hermione's mum holding Hermione as a baby, the brown-eyed girl's toothless grin covered by what appeared to be chocolate or baby food. Draco noticed that the pictures didn't move, but figured now wasn't the best time to be questioning that. "Is this your mum?"

Gently, Hermione nodded. "And here is my father," she whispered, handing him the picture of her riding the bicycle.

"What is that you are riding?" Draco asked, curiosity finally overwhelming him with all of these Muggle things.

"It's a bicycle and it's kind of like a Muggle broomstick, only it doesn't fly," Hermione explained.

"Do you miss your parents? Is that why you're so sad?" Draco asked bluntly.

Hermione sighed, trying not to cry. She began gathering up the pictures and she hiccupped, failing to hold back the tears.

"What on earth is wrong?" said Draco. "It's not like you've never spent time away from them before."

Hermione shook her head, and said, "It's not what you think. I—I…" she hesitated, wondering if Draco would judge her, "before I left with Harry, nearly a year ago, I Obliviated their memories, to protect them. I knew that You-Know-Who would try to use them against me."

For a time, Draco just stared at Hermione. "You…you…actually _Obliviated_ your own parents?" he asked incredulously. "How could you do such a thing?"

Tears poured down Hermione's face as she tried to explain, "I needed to help H-Harry defeat You-Know-Who." She sobbed, "H-he needed help. I knew that You-Know-Who would use my p-parents against me, against us—and s-so to avoid them getting h-hurt, I replaced their memories."

Draco hurried over to Hermione and gathered her in his arms. "That sounds sodding mental to me, Hermione." But he couldn't help but feel a little guilt as he looked down at his Dark Mark. To think, the whole time he had been in the thick of the Dark Lord's plans, and Hermione had had to hex her own parents just to save their lives… "Where are they now?" Draco demanded. "Do you know?"

"They're s-somewhere in Australia," she cried into his shoulder.

"And Potter never bothered helping you find them after the Dark Lord was defeated?" Draco said with disgust.

"R-ron and H-harry both did, I—I just…didn't think…well, they're probably better off without me," Hermione said, as she hid her face in her hands.

"And why is that?" Draco said.

"Look at me," Hermione said in anguish, gesturing to her torso. She had finally started to show, but just barely. Draco never mentioned it, though. "I'm single…and pregnant!" She cried into her hands some more.

At that, Draco looked away, shame filling him. He had never considered how his actions might have affected Hermione's overall self-esteem, or how her parents might treat her because of it.

"Is your father cruel?" Draco asked softly. Hermione shook her head.

"Your mother?" he continued.

Hermione shook her head, "No. I'm just so ashamed…"

"For Merlin's sake, Hermione!" Draco yelled. "It happened through no fault of your own! Any parent who would treat their own daughter like a pariah because she was raped during a war would _deserve_ to be cursed!"

Hermione gulped, "I—I just w-want them to be proud of me."

"You set out doing what you meant to do—the Dark Lord _is dead_. And you're about to graduate Hogwarts, despite not even having been here most of the year. And you lived to tell about it!"

"W-what's your point?" Hermione whispered.

"My point _is_—" Draco snapped as he put his hands on her shoulders, and stared straight in her eyes, "—that you, of all people, should be proud of yourself, Hermione. Therefore, your parents should be, too." Hermione smiled, after a fashion, and only for a brief amount of time.

"B-but—" Hermione stammered, wringing her hands through her hair, "I should have gone to get them a long time ago. I need to go find them."

Draco thought quickly, making a decision right then and there. "Look, Hermione…if it means that much to you, and if it will help, I think we should go find your parents as soon as possible."

"Oh, Draco!" Hermione exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. "Thank you so much!"

"We'll go straight after graduation," he said. "I don't think you should do much Apparating in your condition."


	32. Initiation Nightmares

**A/N: I am shocked and amazed but your responses. What was originally supposed to be an interim chapter (Chapter 31) wound up being one of the more poignant ones written for this story. **

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"_Haha! Little Draco gets to run with the big dogs now," Bellatrix laughed as a fellow Death Eater, one Draco doesn't even recognize, blindfolds him. "If he can make it past the Dark Lord, that is."_

_Draco wished his father, his mother even, could have been here to comfort him, to warn him of what he was about to face. The Death Eaters didn't talk of their initiation ceremony. All that was ever mentioned is that it was excruciatingly painful. He wished Snape was there, to force him into being strong as he felt his bottom lip quiver._

"_He will see straight through you," the professor had told him the night before. "If you know what's good for you, you won't stop him."_

"_I'm ready," Draco whispered, trying to hide the fear in his voice as they lead him forward, the sound of Bellatrix's skip in his right ear as he heard her sing on about something. He had learned how to block her out years ago, but he knew she was probably trying to stress him out. He didn't need help with that._

"_Shut the hell up, Bellatrix." Draco heard the familiar voice of Goyle's older brother call out. "The Dark Lord doesn't appreciate such childish behavior during an initiation."_

"_My nephew is finally becoming one of us," Bellatrix laughed, "I think I have a right to celebrate, if he lives."_

"_He is going to live," Geoffrey Goyle answered. "You can celebrate after this bloody thing is over with."_

_Draco felt the stranger lead him forward. Suddenly, somebody slammed into Draco, knocking him to his knees. Draco protested, "How dare you, you-"_

"_Not in front of the Dark Lord," the Death Eater snarled, a hateful tone in his voice. Draco felt the blindfold being torn off as he knelt his knees under a bright light in the center of a dark room. The room is nearly pitch black, and he can see figures standing around the corners, but cannot tell who was who in the shadows. He figured they did this for a reason._

"_Ah, another Malfoy has decided to join our family. A wise decision, Draco." The Dark Lord called out, "Look at me boy, show me your soul." Grabbing Draco under the chin, Draco gets a chance to look into the red eyes before his head exploded in pain._

"_It doesn't matter who broke it Pansy, bloody fix my nose."_

"_Filthy Mudblood, and you're just as bad, Blood Traitor!"_

"_You'll always be my Draco, even after you go to Hogwarts, son."_

"_One of us," the Dark Lord bellowed, to everyone in the room, "Show me your arm."_

_Draco held out his arm, feeling immense pain shoot across his skin as the skull appears, the snake appears. Holding his head back, squeezing his eyes shut to prevent tears, Draco feels a horrible pain shoot through his bones, electrifying through his veins, through every nerve ending on his body as he was branded with the Dark Mark._

Jumping awake from his own nightmare, Draco heard Hermione's horrifying scream. Quickly, he hopped into her bed, wrapping his arms around her and rocking her.

"Hermione, it's okay. I'm here. I'm here. I promise, it's okay," he whispered into Hermione's hair, as he had so many times before, trying to wake her slowly. "You are in Hogwarts, you're safe."

"I….I…." Hermione sobbed into Draco's chest, "I'm so tired of seeing her in my dreams, Draco."

"I know, baby," Draco whispered, brushing back Hermione's hair. "So am I."

"Will…..When will it ever end?" Hermione stammered, laying her head against Draco's chest. "Will I…Will we have nightmares like this forever?"

"No," Draco whispered. "Look at me Hermione, I promise these dreams will one day end. I promise."

"You have said that before," Hermione answered, wiping her eyes. "You have said all of this before."

"And I believe it," Draco replied, kissing her softly on the lips. "I keep telling myself all of it too. It's not just you who is having doubts, but I know I can't have them forever. Everything ends, eventually."

Hermione nodded, "Can you stay here, with me, until I fall asleep?"she requested softly, "I feel safe with you here."

"Well, of course," Draco answered, laying down above the blankets and propping up some pillows to lean against. It couldn't have been any earlier than three in the morning and he was already fighting to keep his eyes open, but maybe sitting up would keep him awake.

Hermione laid her head on his chest, slowly closing her eyes. "Thank you, Draco," she whispered as she drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

"No. Thank _you,_" Draco whispered back, brushing the hair away from Hermione's peaceful face. In the darkness, Draco couldn't watch her sleep, but he could feel her heartbeat, her steady breathing and it comforted him in knowing that she was no longer dreaming of his aunt.

Slowly Draco put his arm around Hermione, listening to her breathing. Closing his eyes, Draco pictured Hermione's face as she laid her head on his chest, and slept soundly.

Waking up the next morning, Draco was welcomed with an empty bed. _Hermione must have already gotten up,_ Draco thinks to himself. _She must have already gone down to breakfast, to the library possibly._

Getting dressed, Draco walked into the Common Room and sat on the couch next to Blaise.

"We need to go talk, Zabini," he mumbled, staring at the fire.

Asking no questions, Blaise stands up and walks into his prefect bedroom, Draco hot on his heels behind him. Draco shut the door, locking both boys in the bedroom alone.

"What's this about, Draco?" Blaise asked, laying across his neatly made bed. "I was busy."

"You were staring off into space," Draco answered, "Unless you are that much of a dimwit that it takes that kind of concentration, you are fine. Something happened last night."

"Oh boy," Blaise laughed, rolling his eyes. He sat up quickly, "I have to hear this one."

"I slept with Hermione last night," Draco stated, staring at Blaise. "And she wasn't there when I woke up."

"Well, she had a smile on her face whenever she walked out of your room, so I'd say congratulations."

"Don't bloody tell me congratulations. Nothing happened, you-"Draco stopped, the beginning of Blaise' s sentence finally clicking in Draco's mind. "She was smiling?"

"Well, yeah. Ear to bloody ear, but you didn't…wait. I thought you said you slept with her?" Blaise demanded, more confused now than he had been when he first walked in the room. "You slept with her but you didn't sleep with her?"

"No," Draco answered sternly.

"And why the hell not? She was in your bed! You were in your bed!"

"Are you crazy? Is that all you think about, Blaise? She's not Pansy, it's not just 'let's shag'. Besides," Draco smirks, "I don't need to shag her to keep her coming back. Tonight she will be begging for Draco Malfoy, the ladies always come back for more." Draco knew it wasn't really like that, that Hermione was different. Hermione was special and they didn't need to shag to show what they had. Or at the very least, what he hoped they had.

"There's the Draco I remember," Blaise chuckled, lying back down. "So Hermione was smiling over nothing, then?"

"Well, I wouldn't call sleeping with me 'nothing'," Draco smirked, holding his head up high. "Besides, have you ever seen a girl leave my room without a smile on her face, why should Hermione be any different?"

"True," Blaise sighed, shaking his head with a smile. Before the war, there wasn't a night that either Draco or him slept alone in their beds. With Lucius pulling a few strings, Draco got away with nearly everything in his prefect room, and Blaise was just sly enough that everyone knew where the parties were. And never, in all the years Blaise had known Draco, had there ever been a woman leave Draco's room disappointed.

"And I'll be there when she does come crawling back for more," Draco answered, "to satisfy whatever needs she needs satisfied." _Even if all that includes is holding her while she sleeps._


	33. Hermione's Gratitude

**A/N: Apologies, this chapter was mis-submitted a couple of hours ago...but here it is again in its entirety. Hope you enjoy. =]**

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Blaise couldn't help but smirk, sitting at the Slytherin table across from Draco and Hermione. They were sitting closer, he could see that, and Hermione's body language was a little more...open...to Draco. _Leave it to a Slytherin to notice body language, _Blaise thinks to himself, _the smirk still very obvious on his face._ But leave it to Draco to be able to get even the most prudish of women such as Hermione to open up to him, to let him into her bed. _What did you do last night, Draco? Because I know you're not telling me everything._

"I'm just saying," Pansy continued, filling the table with conversation, "That if I had my way about it-"

"If you had your way about it," Draco interrupts, "All of Hogwarts would have co-ed dormitories and there would be a statue of you in the middle of the school."

"Well, yeah," Pansy laughs, "But that's not the point."

"The point is, Draco, that Pansy is just as sick of your paparazzi as everyone else." Hermione chimed in, looking over at a group of Hufflepuff girls who were eyeballing Draco. "If I hear one more love-sick, fickle, underclassman ask how you are in-"

"Speaking of which," Pansy interrupted, "You never told me."

"And she's not going to," Draco smirked, grabbing Hermione's hand, intertwining his fingers in hers.

Hermione's stomach somersaulted as she felt Draco's cool touch on her hand. His palm perfectly fit against hers. How could he do something so bold? In front of not only Blaise and Pansy, but all of Hogwarts. Hermione's mouth dropped open as she stared at Draco's hand in hers, their fingers intertwined.

"What?" Draco asked, Pansy and Blaise waiting for Hermione to respond with something, anything, to let them know they could speak and that she wasn't going to hex Draco. "It's not like _this—_" he pointed from Hermione to him and back again, "—is a secret. Or like no one knows about…" he looked down at Hermione's stomach, referencing the baby. "I think it's safe to say all of Hogwarts already knows without me holding your hand."

Sitting there for a second, Hermione thought about what Draco had said. All of Hogwarts did know that they had a child together and that it was Draco's. The majority of Hogwarts now knew that Draco and Hermione were sleeping in the same room, his prefect room, and that Head Mistress McGonagall made no effort to stop them. Besides, Draco's hand did feel rather nice in her own.

"Okay," Hermione whispered, squeezing Draco's hand lightly. A small smile swept across her face as she looked down at his hand in hers, "But we will talk about this tonight."

"Of course we will," Draco sneered lightly, "That's all these bloody women ever want to do, is talk." Draco commented, looking over at Blaise who is still in awe from Draco's bold move.

"Pansy does other things," Blaise joked, causing Pansy to blush with embarrassment and slap him on the arm.

"Yes," Draco snarls his nose in disgust, "I know."

* * *

Hermione lay on the bed, staring at the pages of her textbook. Although she was looking at the pages, the words seemed to blur with her confusion. Had Draco really grabbed her hand right there in public? And what did it mean? That he wanted this to be something more? Or was he just trying to get his "paparazzi" off his back? Sighing. Hermione flipped the page.

"They really should make a textbook on men," she whispered into the empty room.

Draco smirked, walking into the room, having just heard Hermione mumbling to herself. "They could write a thousand textbooks on women, and humanity still wouldn't begin to understand them."

Blushing, Hermione looked up. She couldn't believe Draco had just heard that. "Well, you appear to know women perfectly fine," Hermione comments. "From the way Blaise talks. Why don't you write a book on us?"

Draco scoffed. "Me? Write a book? That's rubbish, Hermione, and you know it." Then he considered, "Perhaps it should be entitled, 'Satisfying the Fairer Sex.' That's all a woman really needs anyway. Satisfaction," Draco said, quite pleased with himself.

"Excuse me?" Hermione barked. "There is a lot more to a woman than just satisfying her...her.." Hermione blushed at the thought of having this conversation with Draco. Never in her life did she think she would be trying to explain this to him. Ron maybe, but never Draco Malfoy. "A woman is not just...lying about, waiting for you to satify her sexual needs."

Relenting, Draco walked toward her and said, "I know, I know..." then he shrugged. "At least for you, anyway. You're different."

"I...I'm different?" Hermione asked, once again confused by Draco's words. "How am I different? All women are like that, Draco." Then Hermione appeared to reconsider, "Except for, perhaps, Lavender Brown." Draco smirked, but appeared to consider Hermione's words.

"I...I suppose you're right," Draco replied, "my mum was certainly more than Lucius ever thought she was." Draco preferred to call his father by his first name now, as it distanced him from the man whom he decided he hated.

"Yeah," Hermione whispered back, into the textbook. Sitting up, she closed the textbook and leaned back against the pillows. "I don't see how your mum could be with a man like Lucius. He is evil-minded and cruel. Was your mum always the woman she is now? Was she always so caring?"

"The only people she cared about," Draco said, turning to face Hermione, "were her sisters, Lucius, and I. Then the war happened..."

"I...I don't think I understand?" Hermione whispered softly. Narcissa seemed so caring, like such a loving mother. Hermione couldn't see how she could be any less than that. "What happened during the war? Narcissa saved Harry's life, I know that."

A combination of shame and anger came over Draco. His first inclination was to tell Hermione that it was a sign of weakness that he and his mother had never managed to kill Harry Potter, Draco's sworn enemy.

But then he remembered what the Healer Adonna had told him, about how refusing to kill others was not a weakness, and he let that fill him up and block out most of the hatred within him. "I don't know," Draco whispered, "I really don't. I...suppose...that we just...somehow...hoped that..." Draco paused briefly. "Does it really matter?" It was odd for him to talk about it, but Hermione seemed to want to know.

"No," Hermione answered, hiding her smile. Did Draco really not _want_ to win the war? Is that what he was trying not to tell her? "I guess it doesn't. The war is over now. The fighting is done." 'Trying not to even thinking about it, Hermione's hand moved to her stomach where she could now feel the baby kick."I do have a question, though," she muttered, her cheeks filling with blush as she looks away from Draco.

"What's that?" Draco asked wearily, hoping that it wasn't about more emotions. He had quite enough of talking about that at the hospital to last several lifetimes.

"I'm sorry," Hermione saw Draco's frustration. "It's just that it's been eating away at me and confusing me to no end. But…umm...why did you hold my hand today? Was that just to get the other girls off your back? Was it because of Blaise and Pansy, I mean...I…" Hermione looked up at Draco's face. "I 'm rambling, aren't I?"

A grin slowly spread across Draco's features, as he answered, "I suppose...it was my way of...letting them know that they need to back off," he said.

"The other girls?" Hermione asked as she felt her stomach drop, her ears turning red. "I...I figured you would use the swooning to your advantage?" She stutters, biting her bottom lip.

Draco felt a swooping sensation somewhere in the pit of his stomach. It was so like Hermione to demand an explanation for everything. But why had he grabbed her hand? He himself hadn't known the answer to that. But the thought of actually telling Hermione that he cared about her still terrified him.

"Yes," he answered finally, "I was sick of seeing them pecking around at you like a flock of buzzards."

"Oh," Hermione answered, a hint of disappointment in her voice. Yawning, she tries to hide it with her hand. "I see," she whispered.

"What type of answer were you hoping for?" Draco asked, seeing the disappointed look on Hermione's face.

"Huh? Nothing. I mean...I was just wondering why you held my hand. Your reason is your own for doing so. It had just been bugging me." Hermione answered, a bit too quickly.

"Does there really have to be a reason?" he replied, walking over to her. He took her hand in his, and said, "Does it bother you when I do this? Because I can stop if you want." He raised an eyebrow.

Hermione felt her stomach fill with butterflies as she looked at her hand in Draco's. "N...No?" Hermione stammered, half-questioning her sanity as she spoke. "Th..that's fine."

"I'm glad to know that," Draco said softly, sitting down next to her on the bed, "because I realized something."

"Oh really?" Hermione answered, starting to feel her stomach return to her. "And what is that?"

"I quite like holding your hand, even when nobody's looking," Draco grinned, wondering what she would think about that.

Hermione curses herself. Just when she thought she had her emotions under control, Draco had to go and say something like that. Swallowing hard, Hermione recomposed herself.

"I rather like it too," she whispered. "I...I rather like this side of you, Draco," she continued, a slight smile on her face.

He smiled down at her, saying, "Do you, really? And this whole time, I was under the assumption you thought I was doing you a favor."

"Doing me a favor? How?" Hermione asked, a smile on her face.

A grin flashed across Draco's features-he had finally gotten Hermione to smile, which had been his intention all along. Hermione always looked so beautiful when she smiled.

"Hey," he said, grin still on his face, "could you do that for me more often?"

"What?" Hermione asked, still smiling.

"Keep that look on your face?"

Hermione blushed, "My smile?" she asked, smiling wider in spite of herself. "But I thought you liked seeing me angry? That's the look you used to always try putting on my face."

At that, Draco frowned a little. But then he perked back up again and said, "I've...changed my mind."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, you win. I'll try to smile more." Gently, she squeezed Draco's hand.

Draco squeezed her hand back, and stood up off the bed, and grabbed some pajamas out of his dresser. He then walked into the bathroom, giving Hermione a little wink. "See you in a bit," he said.

Flustered, Hermione ran over to grab her own pajamas and change quickly. She hurriedly ran her hands through her hair trying to get the frizz to go down a little bit. Sighing in frustration, at her hair, she walked back over to the bed, crawling under the covers quickly and watched the bathroom door, waiting for Draco to return.

Draco walked over and went to his space on the floor, same as he had every night with Hermione, prior to his stint in the hospital. He carefully lay out the cot, straightening the pad on it, and rearranged the blankets and pillow just so.

"Ummm...Draco?" Hermione whispered nervously.

"Yes, Hermione?" Draco answered, just as softly. "What is it?"

"I was...umm...well I was wondering..." Hermione couldn't believe how she sounded, even to herself. Rarely had she been at such a loss for words. Taking adeep breath, Hermione just spits it out. "Can you sleep in the bed with me again tonight?" Sighing, Hermione looks down at the comforter.

Draco's eyebrows shot straight up at Hermione's request.

The night previously was different; they had both awoken from nightmares, comforted each other, only to accidentally fall asleep on the mattress. Now Hermione was actually wanting his presence. To his consternation, his stomach started flip-flopping at the prospect of sleeping with her. "Are you sure?" he asked. "I mean, I'm just fine on the floor, Hermione."

"Well, if you don't want to," Hermione whispered, barely audibly. "I understand. I just...I don't have nightmares when you're...I mean...forget it." Hermione said, fingering the comforter.

Draco swallowed, not wanting to scare her. "No, no," he said, slowly walking over to the bed, "it's fine. I just wanted to make sure that you were really okay with it." The girl had switched her winter pajamas for summer ones, and Draco can't help but notice how her small tummy looks now, barely peeking out from under her pajama top.

Then Hermione looked into Draco's eyes, the grey a softening comfort. "If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't have asked. It was nice waking up to you. I actually felt safe. Normally, the nightmares keep me up all night."

"All right then," Draco resolved, keeping his face carefully composed. Hermione was typically so jumpy anytime he came near her when she was on the bed, that he could scarcely believe this was the same girl from a month ago. He threw back the covers, climbed into the bed and waved an arm to Hermione to get in. _Just play it cool,_ he told himself, _this means nothing_.

Hermione climbed into bed, curling up in the comforter. "Good night, Draco," she whispered again softly, closing her eyes, turning away from him.

Draco curled up on the opposite side of the bed, apart from Hermione. He can't help but notice how empty his arms feel as he faces away from the girl, folds his arms across his chest, and pulls the comforter over his torso and up to his chin. "Good night, Hermione," Draco whispered. He wondered if his heart could ever take this new arrangement. Draco reached out from under the duvet, grabbed his wand from off the nightstand, and whispered, "Nox," at the light, and placed the wand back on the nightstand.

Time droned by. Hermione bit her lip. She decided to make a bold move in the darkness and crawled over to Draco underneath the duvet. She touched him, which surprised him, but he turned and faced her. She put a hand on his face, and said, "Thank you, Draco," while laying her head on his chest. "For everything."

Draco smiled softly, feeling as if he wanted to yell out in happiness. Instead, he gathered Hermione in his arms, grateful for the chance to do so. On a spur of the moment, he kissed her forehead, and said, "There's nothing to thank." Anything he could do to help her was enough.

"Yes, there is," Hermione whispered back, the darkness allowing her to be honest. "You have saved my life multiple times. You have given me, although not in the best of situations, a son. You've given me reason to live. And now you are going with me to find my parents." Gently, Hermione kissed Draco, before whispering on his lips, "Thank you."


	34. Adonna's Offer

In the past week, Draco had already grown accustomed to walking in through the Healer's door. Three times a week he had to do it, so it was already just part of habit. Pushing the door open, Draco strutted into the room which included a simple desk and three chairs.

"Hey, Madam Adonna, ready for our regular dose of feelings?" he asked, plopping down in one of the chairs.

Madam Adonna turned around from her filing cabinet and sat down in the plush chair behind her desk, with her ever-present clipboard.

Draco had certainly come a long way since the first time she had met him. It had seemed that ever since she had removed the obligation of him having to actually talk with her, that it had caused him to open in ways she had never anticipated. Adonna suspected she was probably the only person with whom Draco had ever been so candid. Either way, he was making rapid progress outside of St. Mungo's.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be, Draco," the Healer replied.

"So, Hermione and I are sleeping in the same bed, nightmares of hers and such," Draco told her, "It's one of the hardest things I think I've ever done."

"Oh?" Adonna said. "And why is that?"

Draco shrugged, "I just wish she wanted me to sleep there for more than just nightmares. I wish...I wish the feelings were mutual."

"Which means what, exactly, Draco?" she asked.

Draco shook his head, smirking. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" He asked. He had to admit, talking to Madam Adonna helped, but with her, he couldn't only halfway say something. She was like Hermione, she wanted details.

"I'm afraid you'll have to connect the dots, Draco," she replied with a rueful smile.

Draco shook his head again, smirking. "You women, I swear," he mumbled. "I just wish when she asked me to lay down with her...I wish it was because she...I wish it was because she loved me back, you know?" Draco confessed, "I wish it wasn't just because I keep the nightmares away."

The Healer considered him. "So...you still haven't told Hermione how you feel about her?" she asked candidly.

Draco looked down at his hands. "Not yet?" He answered, half-questioning himself.

"What, if anything, are you waiting for, Draco?" Then the Healer paused. "Are you worried that the feeling won't be mutual?"

"Well, it's not exactly casual conversation," Draco snarled, "I can't exactly be like 'How was your day? Oh, by the way, I love you'," he scoffed.

"So," Adonna said, "confessing one's feelings is a weakness, then." It was a statement, not a question. "Or haven't you noticed, Draco, since you've talked with me...it has made you stronger? Have you felt the need to cut since you left the hospital?"

"No," Draco stated honestly, with a bit of surprise, "I haven't." Then he rationalized, "I promised I wouldn't and a Malfoy stays true to their word." The Healer stayed quiet. She knew that a simple promise often couldn't keep the feelings away for a lot of people. Draco continued, "A man shouldn't have to tell a woman how they feel though. I can't be a blubbering baby about all of it. Why do you think I should tell her?"

"I think that you consistently worry about how she feels for you. If you tell her how you feel, it might erase that worry. Has she shown any indication her feelings are the same as yours?"

Draco shrugged, "She kissed me? She asked me to share a bed with her? That was how mum and Lucius showed they cared about each other's well-being."

The Healer raised an eyebrow. "Draco, I think you're underestimating the power of your words. Clearly, you care deeply for Hermione. Has it ever occurred to you that telling her that you care for her would help her heal?"

Draco looked at the Healer, "Really?" The idea that he could actually help Hermione's well-being intrigued him. "Well...how would I do it? Every time I want to, it sounds like such rubbish in my own head. I know it would in hers."

The Healer smiled kindly. "I don't think you realize just how remarkable the pair of you are. Hermione has chosen to see you as a refuge, instead of as a rapist, Draco. She is also a person who thrives on words-or haven't you noticed her penchant for books? She needs to hear it from you, and often. Otherwise she'll doubt herself. It doesn't have to be anything big, or grand, or mushy. Just say things like, 'be good to yourself' or 'remember, I care for you'."

"I told her last night that I liked her smile?" Draco replied, half-questioning himself. "This touchy feely crap is just new to me. A woman just normally falls for my charm."

Again, the Healer smiled. "Telling a girl you like her smile is a good start," she confirmed. "It's all right, though, Draco-you don't have to rush into it. Just know that it would probably help Hermione if you told her sooner than later."

Draco nodded, understanding what the Healer was saying. "I also...I offered to take her to go find her parents. She...she hugged me for it."

"Find her parents?" Adonna inquired.

"She had to...the war…we had to do things we will regret to save others. Her parents don't know they have a daughter." Draco looked down at his hands.

The Healer considered Draco and said, "Yes, I certainly understand the war." She paused for a moment. "If the both of you need any help, please let me know?"

"Okay," Draco answered. "It'll be fun," he replied sarcastically, "Muggle Australia, matey." Draco snarled his nose with the last word, "But it's only fair to Hermione and I won't let her go alone, and especially not while she's pregnant."

"I understand. And I mean it when I say-you can ask me for help."

Draco raised an eyebrow at the Healer. "What are you getting at?" Was she offering files? Information? Or simply a place to stay? "I don't think I understand."

"Australia is a large place, Draco. It would probably help if you had some places to stay," she said. "Also, Hermione would need to be examined to make sure it is safe for her to travel."

"I thought about that," Draco replied, thinking to himself. "But…why you would do that for Hermione and I?" Draco asked, confused by the amount of generosity Adonna was offering. His own mother had expressed her ultimate displeasure with seeing Draco and Hermione travel into the Muggle world. Yet a Healer, to whom he was only a patient, was offering to help them out. "You would help us?"

"Of course I would, Draco. Don't act so suspicious. I can't very well let you tell me you're off to the Muggle world-which I have lived in, by the way-with a pregnant girl and no support, and not offer some assistance."

"I'd greatly appreciate it," Draco replied, suddenly sitting up straight out of respect for the Healer. "Hermione says my money is useless there. I don't know the first truthful thing about the disgusting Muggles."

"Hermione is right, Draco. Wizarding coins have little value in the Muggle world. And...as you are currently attracted to a girl with Muggle parents, you might wish to reconsider your attitude about all of them being disgusting."

"Old habits die hard," Draco muttered to himself, hoping that the Healer didn't hear him. His thoughts traced back to the previous thread of conversation, expressing his feelings for Hermione. Some old habits were harder than others.


	35. Out of the Ashes

**A/N: I spent this whole day thinking that this website was down, when it was just a browser issue. UGH! I guess I shall install updates now... Enjoy the chapter. =] And thank you SO MUCH for all of your inspiring reviews! Woooooow. Nearly 200!**

* * *

"Miss Granger," said Professor McGonagall seriously, "I would like to discuss something with you in my office straightaway, please."

Hermione replied, "Certainly, Professor," and followed the Headmistress down the hall to her office. The girl had all sorts of ideas running through her head about what the professor would possibly want to speak to her about, none of them good.

"Fainting Fancies," said McGonagall to the statue outside the office, as the gargoyle leapt aside at the sound of her voice.

The two women made their way up the spiraling staircase and through the door, where they both walked inside the circular room.

"Please, have a seat," said McGonagall, as she gestured to a chair in front of her desk. She sat down in her own chair behind the desk. Hermione carefully sat down. "I suspect you wonder why I've brought you here," said the Headmistress. "It is not for anything bad, I assure you," she said, obviously having caught the distress on Hermione's face.

"Oh good," Hermione said with relief, "I was thinking it might have been something concerning Draco…." She let her sentence fade off.

"Not at all," McGonagall replied, "I have called you in here to ask you to give the commencement speech at graduation."

All at once, the stress and worry flowed back into Hermione's face, "Those types of speeches are usually reserved for the very prestigious," she squeaked, holding a hand to her mouth. "Why—why would you ask me?"

"Miss Granger," began the Headmistress, "I don't think you're quite aware of your position of influence with not only your peers, but the entire wizarding world."

"Wh-what?" Hermione gasped, her eyes growing huge.

McGonagall got one of her rare kind looks on her face, and continued, "It was tragic to see you fall apart for those two months, Miss Granger. I can only assume what you were going through after the war, considering your present condition."

Hermione looked down at her now-obviously protruding belly. Never had she explained what had happened to her with any of the professors. At the time, she had wrongfully assumed they didn't care, but that didn't appear to have been the case at all. Hermione suspected one of her friends—probably Ginny—would have already mentioned something to the Headmistress. McGonagall had never once grilled Hermione over her presence in the Slytherin common room, not even about being in Draco's own bedroom. Hermione wasn't at all certain what the professor would think of her, now that Hermione was pregnant with Draco's child. But she certainly hadn't expected this.

"Out of the ashes of this war, Miss Granger, you have managed to continue and try to make something of yourself. I see that walking around with Mr. Malfoy has actually done you some good. That boy, in some ways, is rubbing off on you, and you could use a little Malfoy-type pride right now," she clipped boldly.

Hermione felt her cheeks redden. "Why…why do you feel that way, Professor?"

"Because, you, Hermione Granger, should never feel ashamed of what you had to do. Hundreds, if not thousands, of girls in our world now look up to you, and rightly so. After all, you helped defeat Lord Voldemort. You are now no less prestigious than the Minister of Magic."

At that, Hermione felt heated tingles begin to fill her chest and radiate outward to the rest of her body. Even after Hermione's talk with Draco, she still hadn't been able to hold her head high, considering all that had happened. But…now…McGonagall told her that she was being looked up to. The girl straightened up in her seat, now looking at McGonagall with shining eyes.

"That's better," said McGonagall, with a hint of smile, "and far more like the Hermione Granger I know. Do you accept?"

Before Hermione could decide against it, the words, "Yes, Professor," flew out of her mouth. "I suppose it's the least I could do, since Hogwarts supported me all these years. Now it's high time I returned the favor."

* * *

"So it's all settled then?" Draco asked Adonna. "You've made the arrangements?"

"Yes," the Healer answered. "I have indeed made certain that the Floo Network is open for you all the way down to Australia. You are doubtless aware that Hermione is cleared to go for the trip, but her time is limited. You have two weeks—18 days at most. Then I do not recommend Disapparating. I will give her the money with which to travel tomorrow during her appointment."

"Very well," said Draco.

"And Draco?" Adonna continued. "Do be careful. I'm leaving it up to you to tell Hermione that you've arranged to use the Floo Network instead of Apparating, since you are the one who asked me to do so."

"All right," Draco said. "And Madam Adonna…thank you." He shook the Healer's hand.

"You might not be thanking me after you tell Hermione," Adonna warned. "She's not exactly the type of person who likes to be controlled."

"I'm sure she'll be just fine," Draco dismissed the Healer's concern, "when she sees how much I care."


	36. Graduation

Hermione strode up purposefully to the podium, holding her head high in front of all of the onlookers. Ever since Professor McGonagall had told her that she was a role-model, the girl carried herself differently, proudly. Just months previously, Hermione thought she would never have cause to think positively of a Malfoy; yet she was now using Draco's post-war pride as her inspiration. Even McGonagall herself said that Hermione should take a leaf out of Draco's book and learn how to respect herself. _I wonder what Draco would think about a Muggle-born using him as a shining example._ She took her wand and aimed a _Sonorus_ spell at her throat before speaking.

"First of all, congratulations, to all of you, for making it this far!" Hermione smiled and applauded her fellow classmates. A smattering of applause broke out in the crowd as she said it, especially amongst her friends. "I must admit, when Professor McGonagall asked me to give this speech, I was more than a bit apprehensive," Hermione continued. "But she helped me to realize that we can touch each other's lives for good.

"Doubtless many of you wonder whether or not you have done the right thing, sacrificing time with your families after the war, to come back to Hogwarts and graduate. I can assure you that this success will have ripple effects for you the rest of your lives. You can have better jobs, better options, better livings, with an education.

"By coming back, you are also showing that you can renew, you can rebuild, and that you are not letting the tragedies of the past hold you back. That is what life is about—moving forward in the face of adversity.

"Several of you have questioned me about what it was like to go into hiding with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley." Hermione said, looking over at Harry and Ron. Every eye in the crowd was now looking at Hermione. She continued intently, "I won't lie to you. It was pure hell. We often found ourselves on death's doorstep at every turn. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life—just trying to stay alive.

"Suffice to say that all three of us are still alive, not through any special talents or abilities of our own, but due to the selfless actions of other people," Hermione now looked straight at Draco, who looked down at the floor. Then he looked back up and held her gaze as she continued, "So I say this to you out there who fear that your actions don't matter. I am here to tell you that they do. There are people in your life that only _you_ can help, only _you_ can touch, so never underestimate that power that you hold in your hands. One person _can_ make a difference.

"Life will always be a constant struggle. One war might be over, but there are many more to come. And I'm not speaking about literal wars—I mean those that can come from within. The personal struggles each of us will face in your day-to-day lives will never cease. Some days you'll be the comforter, some days the comforted. The important thing is that you remember the place you came from—you came from out of the ashes.

"Let us honor those who have died—let us keep them within our hearts and memories by always continuing to fight for what we believe is right. Even if you're the only one who believes in your cause—you can do it. And so, Hogwarts class of 1997, we go out with a bang…and a tear."

Everyone slowly stood up out of their seats, giving Hermione a standing ovation. She stood there, so touched, that tears began to leak out of her eyes and down her cheeks.

As the Headmistress came back up to the podium, the cheering and applauding died down. "Thank you, Miss Granger. That was very inspiring indeed," said McGonagall. "Now I have seen decades of students come in and out of Hogwarts. Sometimes, the students went on to become Healers and Aurors, amazing students doing great things with their lives." Uncharacteristic tears welled up in McGonagall's eyes as she looks over the crowd of fresh graduates, seeing Harry and Neville in the crowd, both having shown so much of their parents' bravery.

"Other times, students leave for a while, only to make their way back to Hogwarts in the end, as a young Potions Master had once done going from becoming my student, to a few short years later my colleague. So many times, I have seen the students of Hogwarts go off and not just succeed at life, but excel. The graduating class of 1997 is no exception. You all have already proven your greatness with this war. I never asked for any of you to fight for your school, yet when the time came, I watched as none of you doubted grabbing your wands. Push came to shove and my students, who I watched walk in here as young children, fought against werewolves," her gaze fell on Lavender, who touched the angry scar on her face, "reached down and found courage they didn't know they possessed." She looked from Neville to Ron and sighed. "I have seen my students fight against each other for years and years, and in the end," she looks over at Draco and Hermione, her hand in his. "When push came to shove, they found the courage to take each other's hand and walk through the darkness together. Parents, I ask that you stand up."

The Headmistress called out, watching as the parents of the students stood up. She watched as Molly and Arthur stood, as Mrs. Zabini, the Finnigans, the Browns, and even Narcissa Malfoy stood up. "I personally want to thank you all for bringing me such amazing pupils. I believe I have learnt just as much as they have over these past seven years. Thank you for bringing these heroes into this world. You may now sit down." She paused, watching as the parents sit down. "Class of 1997, raise your wands."

The students hugged each other as the crowd went wild, clapping and screaming. Seized by the moment, Slytherins embraced Gryffindors, Gryffindors embraced Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs hugged everybody, so caught-up was everybody in their emotions.

Eventually, the students made their way of walking back down the aisle towards the crowd. Blaise and Pansy stood up out of their seats, walking regally down the aisle. Seamus walked down with Cho, both of them smiling as they skipped down the aisle together. Not far behind them, Ron walked with Lavender, both of whom had set aside their differences and were trying to make things work again, and Ron kissed her fiercely on the lips halfway towards the crowd, just to get a head shake from McGonagall. Harry and Ginny followed behind them, walking arm in arm calmly, both really pleased. Luna and Neville were next, both wearing Spectrespecs.

More and more students walk back down the aisle, until finally the last couple remained. Draco bowed, taking Hermione's arm and walked her down the aisle towards the crowd, both of them holding their heads high like royalty.

"Congratulations, Granger," Draco whispered, with a smile.

"I never thought I'd hear you say those words, Malfoy," Hermione answered, not even looking at Draco. "Congratulations," she smiled back at him.

"How do you feel?" he asked, still facing forward.

"Like a queen," she replied, also facing forward, tears glistening in her eyes. "Like a queen."

* * *

**A/N: This author's note is ridiculously long, so I decided to put it at the end of the chapter. Someone has expressed to me their worry that Draco is becoming too OOC. Hopefully, the following explanation will help you understand why my co-writer and I are writing Draco the way we are.**

**First off, please keep in mind this is a work of fanfiction. There will always be slight variations in personality and presentation, considering the original books were all from Harry's point of view, and written by a different person than my co-writer and I.**

**Second of all, we have always believed that Draco is capable of having a softer side; it would just take a LOT to bring it out. He needs to get beat up a bit…okay, he needs to get beat up a lot.**

**Which brings me to my third point—in order for Draco to avoid getting bitter and to bring out the softer side, Draco needs to have an outlet—his talks with the Healer allow him to vent in ways that the original story never did.**

**Fourth point is, we don't believe that Draco would be the same pompous ass that he was when he was thirteen. He came to learn that not only his father, but his entire way of life was wrong for him, and that can destroy a person from the inside out. On the flip-side, Draco only shows his vulnerability to certain people—same as everybody else in this world. It's not like he's throwing his heart out on his sleeve, he's not suddenly kind to everyone or anything, but the war did drastically change his emotional awareness, as did Hermione's pregnancy and Draco's experience with cutting. In order to heal, Draco has to get inside his own head. I and my co-writer believe that this "awakening" would help Draco become more conscious about Hermione's emotional needs.**

**Fifth point: Dramione would never work without Draco showing Hermione that he's capable of caring. She would never accept him as a lover with anything less.**

**Sixth point: My co-writer once dated a Draco for seven years. It took him ages to tell her he loved her, but he did do and say kind things for her, every once in a while. It just took the right woman to bring it out of him, i.e., how we believe Hermione would be for Draco.**

**Seventh point: There is no seventh point, we just like the number seven, for obvious reasons. ;) Again, my co-writer and I hope this helps you, the reader, to understand our rationale.**


	37. Gormless Pillocks

**A/N: A note from Rae Carson, my co-writer:**

**Dear Readers,**

**I and my co-writer cannot even begin to explain to you how much your reviews mean to us. Both of us are going through extreme personal struggles at this time, and the common ground of this story has brought us together over the past several weeks. Your reviews are literal life-savers. They let us know that what we are doing means something, that we are somehow reaching out to you, our readers. There is no greater honor for a writer than to know that what they are doing positively touches the lives of others. Thank you so much for sharing your time with us-often, this story is the one thing that inspires us to not give up the fight. While this might sound over-emotional and sentimental, it is nonetheless true.**

**Sincerely,**

**Rae Carson**

* * *

Slytherin and Ravenclaw had a roaring after-party going on at the Hog's Head. Several of the more well-off parents had chosen to sponsor it, at the behest of their children. Draco had never seen the old run-down place so packed. Nor had he seen Aberforth look so harassed. However, it didn't seem to matter that the old barkeep had his hands full; there was no chance in hell he was about to give Draco Malfoy a drink—not after what had happened the last time Draco had been there. And it didn't seem to matter that Draco was with Hermione, who was also watching him like a hawk. Draco frowned dourly; he was beginning to feel a bit put-upon. Here was his one night to let down his hair, celebrating the end to years of schooling, and Hermione wouldn't give him an inch.

"Hermione, I won't let it get out of hand, okay? Okay?" Draco pleaded, looking longingly at a bottle of Firewhisky on the bar.

She folded her arms and glared at him. "After what happened the last time you drank—which was only a month and a half ago—you really expect me to be okay with this?" Secretly, Draco suspected Hermione didn't want him to drink simply because she felt so left out herself, but he wasn't about to voice his thoughts on the matter. Hermione would probably yell at him for an hour. And Draco was getting a little tired of being on his best behavior.

Eventually, Blaise and Pansy ran up to Draco and Hermione with shining eyes, "Congratulations, you guys!" Pansy exclaimed. She handed Draco a shot and toasted him, "To our future!" Draco looked over at Hermione, who was now sending death-glares at Pansy.

"What do you mean by giving alcohol to Draco?" Hermione demanded.

Pansy looked at her strangely. "He's a grown man, Hermione. He can drink if he wants."

"But…but…even after what _happened_," Hermione hissed, hinting at what Draco had done a month previously.

Rolling her eyes, Pansy said, "Great Goblins, Granger! You can't condemn him forever for making a mistake!"

Blaise walked up behind Draco, saying in his ear, "Now you're letting her control whether or not you can drink? You are so whipped, man," he smirked.

Draco felt heat start to creep up his cheeks at the playful insult, which stung far harder than it should have.

"No, I'm not. You just watch me," Draco muttered under his breath, as he slammed the shot of Firewhisky, with Hermione looking on.

Her eyes grew huge as she watched him and he looked back at her defiantly. "What?" he said, sick of her mother-hen type attitude.

She simply shut her eyes and shook her head. Draco felt his temper flare at the situation.

"Don't they allow any room for fun where you're from?" Draco began. "I bet Muggles are too stupid to know the difference between work and play. In fact," Draco said, "if I were to meet a Muggle in a bar, I'd probably tell him, 'somewhere, you're depriving an udder of a tit', so you'd best be off to the barnyard." Pansy smothered a laugh and Blaise snorted.

Hermione's eyes narrowed and her lips thinned, "My parents are Muggles."

"Yes, well, I can't blame you for that," Draco said, relenting just a tad, "it's not your fault that you came from where you did."

Tears began to shine in the corners of Hermione's eyes, "I see. I'm going now," and she quietly walked away, wiping delicately at her face.

Blaise looked at Pansy, Pansy looked at Draco, and Draco looked at both of them. "What?" he said angrily.

Pansy released a sound of exasperation and ran after Hermione.

"I was only jesting, you know," Blaise said to Draco.

"Yes, well, it was all I could do not to tell her to sod off, the way she was nagging me."

Blaise considered, then shrugged. "All right then, care for another?" he asked Draco, grabbing a full shot glass off the bar that Aberforth had poured for him.

His temper spent, Draco shook his head in annoyance. "Just the one is fine. That's all I wanted anyway. Something to celebrate with."

"I see," said Blaise, slamming his shot. "Well, you should probably go and find Hermione, then, considering you're leaving with her tomorrow morning."

"I know, I know," Draco said, sighing, as he walked out of the bar.

* * *

After a good long discussion, with Blaise and Pansy intervening for the both of them, Draco and Hermione finally came to a truce. Hermione came to realize that just one shot wasn't going to make that much of a difference, and Draco came to realize that insulting Muggles in front of Hermione was a foolish idea. The fact remained that Draco was more than a bit nervous, what with gallivanting off to Muggle Australia with Hermione.

Still, Draco couldn't resist one last insult as he passed The Three Broomsticks. For old time's sake. Neville and several other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs had spilled outside of the bar and into the street. Neville's shirt was off, and he had Luna Lovegood's lion hat on his head, and he was dancing around with a drink in his hand.

"Hey, Longbottom," Draco called out, have you ever considered suing your brains for non-support?"

"Hey, Malfoy," Harry called in return, from somewhere in the crowd, "have you ever considered suing your parents for having inherited such an insufferable personality?"

Hermione laughed in spite of herself. "And to think, I'm actually going to miss this," she said quietly, with a wistful smile.

Draco simply shook his head at her and smirked. Once in a while, it just felt good to throw out the occasional insult. He realized he was going to miss walking the corridors of Hogwarts every day, intimidating the hell out of the underclassmen…and the Hufflepuffs. All at once, he turned back toward the bar and yelled, "Congratulations, you gormless pillocks!" to which several people answered him with like-minded insults.

* * *

Hermione kicked the pebble another three feet in front of her as she walked back to Hogwarts with Draco. It was actually their last night at the school, and it all seemed surreal to Hermione.

"Thank you again, Draco," Hermione said softly, "I can't wait to start our trip."

Draco smiled softly and put an arm around Hermione. "I wanted to make certain that everything is all right. Madam Adonna and I have checked all of the requisite channels in the Floo network, and even if it takes us three days to eventually get down to Australia, we'll do it."

"Draco," Hermione said, stopping in her tracks to stare at him. "Three days? Draco, we can Apparate there in minutes." She asked, "Why Floo?"

"I would think the reason would be obvious, Hermione," said Draco. "You are pregnant."

"Witches have Apparated whilst pregnant before," Hermione protested, frustrated at not just Draco right now but everyone who was trying to handicap her with this pregnancy. "Besides, our days of travel are limited as it is right now and I'm already in my second trimester."

"But Hermione," Draco protested, "Madam Adonna said that traveling is still not advisable, at least not past the sixth month, and you are in the middle of the fifth. And showing quite a bit within the past month, I might add. Why take a chance?"

"Draco," Hermione yelled, "I am a grown woman and I am tired of you and everyone else treating me like...like a child! I have two weeks."

Draco frowned, frustrated that Hermione didn't seem to care. "I just don't want to see you do something stupid, like rush off into the sunset, okay? You're really excitable, what with going to find your parents after a year."

"Ride off into the sunset, Draco?" Hermione barked, now furious. "Really? Do I look like I'm just running? I just want to find my parents before the baby is born! My Apparating days are numbered."

"I _know_ they're numbered, that's why I wanted to find an alternative! Do you think I'm an idiot? I just don't want anything to happen to you, okay?" Draco's voice was rising with Hermione's.

"No, Draco, I don't think you're an idiot, I just think it's childish of you to take a longer path if I have to be home soon for delivery! It's silly!" Hermione bit back, taking all her frustrations out on Draco.

"Childish?" yelled Draco, his throat suddenly dry. "You think it's childish of me to want nothing to happen? To make certain that you aren't doing something harmful, to try and be the responsible one when you won't?"

"No, Draco," Hermione screamed, "I think it's childish that you are trying to hold me down like you own me! Like you actually care!" Snarling her nose, Hermione turned on her heels, ready to storm off, angry at the situation.

Draco raked his hands through his hair, hardly believing that this was happening. He thought Hermione would be happy that he was being so careful.

"You...you...don't run away from me when I'm talking to you!" he spluttered.

"I'm not running away, Draco," Hermione yelled, turning around. "I'm storming off!" she turned back around, continuing to stomp her feet as she went. "And you're a jerk, Draco!"

Draco sprinted, catching up to Hermione, "If I'm a jerk because I care, then you're an irresponsible berk for not taking care of yourself!"

"Irresponsible berk?" Hermione asked, shocked. "Well...you're a...Merlin, Draco! You are a pompous spoiled little brat!"

Here Draco was, honestly trying to show Hermione he cared, and she was throwing it back in his face. "Why, Hermione, why? Why is it so hard for you to believe that this is for your own good?"

"Because Draco," Hermione screamed, "_I_ am pregnant! Not you, or the professors, or every girl who puts her hand on my stomach, but _me_! Lately, I can't even make one decision for myself. I am Apparating there now. Leave. Me. Alone!" Hermione started to walk away again before turning around to tell Draco one last thing. "I'm sleeping in the girls' dormitory tonight, _Malfoy_."

Crestfallen, Draco bellowed, "You can't do that, Hermione! You can't...just...leave!"

"Why not, Draco?" Hermione screamed, more of a threat than a question. "What is stopping me? I'm sleeping in the girls' dormitory with Lavender and Ginny tonight! Goodbye!"

This really called for drastic measures. _Dammit_. "You can't go, because I...I sodding_ love_ you, Hermione! Okay? This whole stupid bloody thing was out of love, not that you've noticed or cared." Annoyed with himself, Draco felt his bottom lip start to quiver. He was furious, but he could feel tears start to rush to the surface. He really didn't want anything to happen to her, and he didn't want to see her Apparate straight in front of him. He held his breath, not daring to hope he would get a positive reaction from Hermione.

Hermione's mouth dropped open as she stared at Draco in shock. Did he just...did Draco Malfoy...

"Are...are you serious, Draco? Because I'm sure that's nothing every romance of yours hasn't heard." Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes at the thought. "That's not funny, Draco."

Just perfect…now she thought he was joking. He walked up to her, tears of frustration welling up in his own eyes, "Of course I'm serious," he whispered, partially angry, partially worried, "why else would I go to all the trouble to make sure you're safe...both of you?"

Hermione felt her stomach suddenly drop to her knees. "So...so, you...you _love_ me, Draco Malfoy?" Hermione whispered, choking on his name with fear, fear of misunderstanding what Draco was saying. Fear that he didn't mean it the way he implied.

At that, Draco opened his arms to Hermione, wordlessly inviting her into his embrace.

Hermione stood there, still in shock. "You..you..." quickly Hermione ran up to Draco, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I...I love you too, Draco."

"Good," he said, his voice still laced with anger, as he held Hermione to him, tucking her head under his chin. "Then will you go by Floo Powder, please?"

"Can...can..." Hermione felt like Draco was using these words against her, her emotions against her, as tears welled up in her eyes. "Fine," she answered, pulling out of Draco's grip and turning her back to him.

Draco stepped around Hermione and looked down into her face, still noting that she was angry, even though she had finally agreed to go by Floo powder. Then he turned up her chin to so she was facing him. "Hey, I really do, you know," he said, the anger leaving his body as he looked at her face. Then he leaned down and kissed her tenderly.

"You...you do?" Hermione asked, before pressing her lips back against his, accepting his embrace. She couldn't stay mad at him.

"Yes, I really do...so..." then he remembered the words that Adonna had told him, "I need for you to take care of yourself, okay?" Then he reached down and caressed her baby belly, not caring who was watching. "You might not think it, but I do worry about the both of you. A lot."

Hermione nodded, not realizing Draco did care this much. "I meant it, too," she answered softly. "I..I'm happy you're going with me. With us."

Draco held Hermione to him for a time, then reached down and took her hand. "Let's go back to the castle," he said. "We really need some sleep."


	38. Grazie

Things hadn't been the same for Draco and Hermione. Not since their argument outside the Hog's Head…the argument about her Apparating. Not since Draco, out of fury, had confessed his love for her. Draco couldn't put his finger on what exactly had changed, and how, exactly, it had changed…but he could feel that something was different. It wasn't bad, or good, for that matter, but simply different.

To conserve Hermione's strength, Draco had insisted on taking Muggle transportation for her whenever it was available. Unfortunately, it turned out that traveling by car tended to make Draco sick. And so he sat in the back of the Roman taxi, looking slightly green. They had just stopped outside of their hotel.

"I need to get out of here," Draco mumbled, holding his mouth. He found it odd that he could travel at break-neck speeds on a broomstick, yet this Muggle contraption seemed to do him in. Not even cracking the window had helped much. He threw open the door and puked outside in the gutter.

Hermione put her hand on his back, and frowned, "I'm sorry, Draco," she said. "We'll just walk next time, okay?"

"NO!" he tried to exclaim, still slightly breathless. "I want to make sure you don't wear yourself out."

"Really, I'm okay," she said, hating to see Draco get ill for no reason. Then she looked over at the hotel, suddenly feeling nervous about sleeping in the same bed with Draco. He had nearly slept on the floor at Hogwarts again the night before, due to the change in their relationship after their confession of love for each other. Draco turned around after he was finished and looked at Hermione.

"I can get two beds, Hermione," Draco insisted, as if he had read her mind. He felt much better after having thrown up and was now watching Hermione fidget in the taxi. "It's not like we don't have the Muggle money for it."

"No," Hermione answered, staring down at her beaded bag. She couldn't let Draco see that the worry wasn't about the money or the bed situation. Instead, it was about whether or not her parents would be welcoming to her. She had, after all, used magic against them. She had hexed them, forcing them to forget she even existed. Not to mention, she was single, pregnant, and showing up with the young man who was responsible for putting her in that position. "We need to conserve what money we can. One bed will be fine. Sleeping with you, it may...it may take away the nightmares, after all."

Sighing, Draco took Hermione's wallet and walked back into the hotel office. By then, he had watched Hermione pay for enough things with Muggle money that day that he had insisted on paying for the hotel by himself. He looked around the cramped foyer in with utter disdain. Draco sneered around at his surroundings, disgusted with the humble accommodations.

"Dov'é il bagno?" Draco asked the hotel's concierge. He needed a bathroom in which to clean himself up.

"Prima porta a sinistra**," **the man answered him, pointing behind Draco. Draco walked into the little bathroom and splashed some water on his face, trying to wipe away the day's travels.

In spite of everything, he kept most of his opinions to himself for Hermione's sake. After Draco was finished in the bathroom, he handed the concierge a credit card (which was an ingenious Muggle invention, though he would never admit that to Hermione.) Draco walked back outside and he held up a key.

"Room 4A," he said to Hermione, as she grabbed her bag, reached inside it, and handed the cabbie some Italian money.

"Ecco i soldi," Draco told him.

"Grazie," replied the man. Hermione smacked her hand lightly on the side of the taxi. Draco had learned enough of the language from Blaise Zabini and his own travels in Europe to get around Italy.

As Draco and Hermione walked inside together, Draco stopped to stare at a computer in the corner of the foyer.

"What is that?" he asked, trying to hide the awe in his voice. "I've been seeing them all over…"

Hermione smiled to herself and replied, "That's a computer. It allows Muggles around the world to communicate with each other," she said.

"Oh, so it's like the Wizard Wireless?" he surmised.

"Not quite," answered Hermione, "but that's close enough."

Hermione held back a grin and watched as Draco fidgeted with the keyboard for a time.

"What does Q-W-E-R-T-Y mean?" he asked, looking down at the computer.

"It doesn't mean anything," said Hermione, trying not to smile, "those letters are placed on keys—like a piano—and you strike them with your fingers to make words and sentences." Before long, Draco finally grew bored of the thing and scoffed at it.

"Whoever came up with these things must've purchased his brain during an off-season sale in the cerebral department," Draco said, as Hermione shook her head and smirked.

Then the pair trudged wearily to their hotel room, and Draco watched as Hermione set down her bag on a small table and laid down across the bed, her obvious stomach starting to show out the bottom of her shirt.

"We need to get you some new clothes," he said.

Hermione self-consciously put her hand on her tummy, and mumbled, "I'm fine."

"You are not 'fine'," Draco insisted, "and it's only going to get worse, Hermione, before it gets better." Once again, he looked around at their meager surroundings, repulsed by what he saw, leaving Hermione feeling awkward and ugly.

Draco finally sat down in a chair in the room, allowing the silence to consume them. They had been painstakingly Flooing from one place to another all day, traveling from destination point to destination point, finally winding up in Italy. And to be brutally honest, Draco could have passed out in the chair right then and there.

"Did you mean it?" Hermione asked, breaking the silence. She knew she had already asked him that a hundred times, but she couldn't help and ask once more.

"Did I mean what?" Draco answered, confused by the question. He had talked to her about so much today, mostly the traveling and women were so hard to read, he couldn't help but wonder what comment he had made that Hermione would question.

"Did...did you mean it when you said you loved me?" Hermione asked again.

Sighing, Draco took off his suit coat and put it on the back of the chair. He rubbed the tiredness from his eyes before walking over and lying down across the bed next to Hermione, both of them facing the wrong direction on the bed. He propped his head up on his hand, leaning his body on his elbow.

"Hermione," he whispered, putting his hand on her stomach, "I do. I care about you and the baby very much." Rubbing his eyes again, he looked at her. "My depth perception must be off," he whispered.

Hermione's eyes grew big with fear. "Why…why is that?" she asked.

"I just never saw you getting this close," Draco answered, pressing his lips to Hermione's softly. "I never saw me caring so much for a Muggle-born."

"Oh," Hermione blushed, looking down as Draco pulled his face away from hers. It wasn't the answer she had expected to hear. She had actually been concerned with Draco's sight and here he was, trying to be romantic. Gently, Hermione pushed herself back up, kissing Draco again as she put her hand behind his head, running her fingers through his hair. She felt butterflies as Draco leaned into the kiss, giving into her caress. Their kiss deepened as Draco sighed lightly with pleasure. He felt as she lightly toyed with the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up just the slightest bit to expose the lower part of his bare stomach.

"Hermione?" Draco asked, looking down where Hermione had her hand on his stomach. "What are you doing?"

Hermione simply stared at him, tears starting to well up in her eyes at the thought of actually taking this to the next level. Her pregnant belly was now extremely apparent and she felt so self-conscious in front of Draco now that he was making comments about it.

"I…I don't know," Hermione answered softly, whispering the words.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Draco asked, caught halfway between desire and concern for Hermione at this point.

"I...I don't know," Hermione repeated, being completely honest. The desire for him was there, burning like a flame but she didn't know, deep down, if she could follow through without losing it. Without remembering everything, and that fear was nearly too much.

"Well, then, we're not," Draco answered firmly, once again inadvertently making Hermione feel unattractive. "Come on," he said calmly. "We need to go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us. I'm planning on making it to Sydney by tomorrow night."


	39. Tension

Draco rummaged around in Hermione's bag for his pajamas and couldn't get into the bathroom fast enough. Closing the door, Draco dropped his pajamas and ran to the sink. It was so frustrating…. Draco had finally confessed his love to Hermione, albeit in a rather angry way, and things between them had only gotten more complicated. _Clear your thoughts. Cleanse your thoughts, _he thought to himself, splashing some cold water on his face. He was caught between the flame of desire and not wanting to do anything to hurt Hermione. Right now, he just needed to cool down, because getting more intimate with her at this point was simply driving him crazy. _Get yourself together and clear your thoughts._

After a time, Draco walked back into the bedroom and looked at Hermione, already in bed, and tried to cock a smile. He failed miserably. The uncomfortable silence was back in the room and Draco could feel the awkwardness between them. Lying down in bed, he tried to think of something, anything, to break the tension, but the words just didn't come.

"What is that blasted thing?" Draco finally asked, pointing over at the air conditioner built into the wall. It wasn't much, but he figured it could make some kind of conversation.

"It's called an air conditioner, Draco," Hermione answered, getting out of bed and walking over to it. "Come here."

Slowly, Draco followed her over to the box, slightly wary of what she was going to do. He trusted Hermione but what he didn't trust was all those Muggle devices.

"Now watch this," she said, turning the unit on, causing it to kick and sputter to action. The noise made Draco jump back. Grabbing his wand, Draco pointed it at the machine, ready to hex it if needed.

"What the bloody hell is that thing doing?" Draco cursed, staring at it. It sounded like it was going to run the room over and looked just as intimidating.

"Draco," Hermione smiled, softly taking Draco's hand and taking the wand out of it, "It's fine. It's not going to hurt you." Hermione set Draco's wand down on the bed, not letting go of Draco's hand. Leading him back over to the unit, she places his hand in front of the vent, allowing him to feel the air on his hand.

"That's it?" Draco snarled, "That's what this ruckus is about, is a little bit of cold air?"

"Pretty much," Hermione laughed, letting go of Draco's hand and allowing him to hold it in the breeze himself. "That's all there is to it." Draco stared at the unit for a time before looking back at Hermione.

"Okay, so turn it off so that we can go to bed. I'm tired of hearing that horrid thing already."

Laughing, Hermione turned the dial to the off position and climbed back into bed. Draco followed shortly behind her, both of them repeating their same routine.

"Good night, Draco," Hermione whispered softly.

"Good night, Hermione," Draco returned as Hermione turned off the lamp and cuddled into Draco's chest.

_"Mum," Hermione called out, hugging her mother. "Dad!" She screamed afterwards, wrapping her arms around her father's neck and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I have missed you both so much."_

_"I wish I could say the same," her father barked, throwing Hermione off. He had never been a hateful person, a spiteful person. In fact, Hermione couldn't remember the last time she had heard her father say a negative thing to her before now. "But it's kind of hard to miss someone you can't even remember and even if we could…" he snarled, looking down at her stomach._

_Hermione grabs her extremely pregnant belly, as if to hold her child close and protect him. "But…but I love Draco. I love our son."_

_"Couldn't wait to get out of school first, could you Hermione?" Her mother sneered, looking down at Hermione in disgust. "Knew we shouldn't have let you go to that wizarding school. Nothing but snogging and sex in there, obviously."_

_"Mum, he's not like that," Hermione protested, frowning, defending Draco._

_"Then where is this 'Draco' now?" her mother replied, causing Hermione to look around. She was right, Draco was nowhere in sight. Hermione turned around completely, running face first into Bellatrix._

_"Call me a bitch, you darling little Mudblood," she laughed, causing Hermione to see her rotten and decayed teeth. "Think you could insult me? I told you I would kill you and now look at you. A bastard son, no parents, and where is little Draco now? He he he… I will kill you yet!" she said, before getting close up in Hermione's face. _

_"And then, my deary, you will be with me forever!" she cackled maniacally. _

"Hermione! Hermione wake up!" Draco called out, shaking her. "It's okay Hermione, you are safe!"

Wrapping her arms around Draco's neck, Hermione sobbed into the nape of it. "Please, Draco!" she cried out, "Please, don't leave me!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Hermione," Draco promised, patting down her hair. He cursed into the darkness as he felt Hermione start to relax, wishing he could take her nightmares away. "Go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake," he whispered, watching her slowly drift back to sleep, her arms still wrapped around his neck.


	40. Crostata alla nutella

**A/N: Your reviews continue to inspire us. Thank you so much. **heart****

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning with Hermione in his arms. They were spooning together the last time they had fallen asleep. He lay with her in the morning sun, listening to Hermione's even breathing, having awoken far earlier than he'd wanted to, due to the sunlight now streaming in through the window. It was not a feeling to which Draco was accustomed, after sleeping in the Slytherin dungeon and Malfoy Manor for so many years. After unsuccessfully trying to fall back asleep, he slid out of bed and went to take a shower and clear his thoughts.

One thing was certain; Hermione could no longer properly fit her clothing. They would have to go shopping in Rome that day, a prospect of which somewhat worried Draco. He didn't have the first idea of where to find maternity clothing, much less in a foreign country. But he couldn't very well let Hermione walk around with her stomach hanging out of her top. It left her exposed, and the last thing Draco wanted was for people to be staring at her, as she already felt so self-conscious. _I also don't want people looking at my woman._

After that, Draco's eyebrows shot straight up and he stared at his reflection in the mirror. When had he started to think of Hermione that way? Probably the day before, when he saw some filthy-looking Muggle man gawping at her in France. The man had made some sort of rude hand gesture at Draco and had pointed to Hermione behind her back. Although Draco didn't know exactly what the hand gesture meant, the Muggle's meaning was clear. Draco had responded by putting his arm protectively around Hermione and marching her away the other direction. He was so furious, he hadn't been able to respond to Hermione's ongoing questions about what had just happened.

Draco wished there was some way to contact his mum; she doubtless knew of places where he and Hermione could shop. However, Narcissa hadn't even wanted him to go traveling with her in the first place. She thought he was off gallivanting around the world with some friends, following graduation. _Which, technically, I am,_ Draco thought to himself.

Draco got dressed and sneaked out of the bathroom, through the hotel room, and out the door. He took Hermione's wallet with him, as she was still sleeping. As luck would have it, the hotel concierge that morning was female. And she even spoke English. She was friendly and personable (and smiled a bit too much for Draco's taste) but she was only too happy to direct him to a little maternity boutique that happened to be about four blocks away from the hotel. He also asked the concierge where he could find some breakfast. She directed him to a little caffé just next door.

Draco walked over to the caffé and asked the barista for the house special, as he really didn't have the first idea of what to order in Muggle Italy.

"Cosa mi consiglia per la prima colazione?" Draco asked, once he got to the counter. _What do you recommend for breakfast?_

"Le consiglio la crostata alla nutella e un cappuccino," the young man replied. _He recommends la crostata alla nutella with something called cappuccino._

"Mi potrebbe dare due porzioni?" said Draco, wanting to get enough breakfast for Hermione as well. _I'd like enough for two people, please._

In spite of himself, Draco watched the young barista behind the counter work the _cappuccino_ machine. The thing was certainly making a lot of noise and Draco couldn't stop staring, despite trying to fit in with the Muggles in the coffee bar. He was certainly more formally dressed than anyone there, and rather stuck out like a sore thumb.

Draco resisted the urge to ask the barista what he was doing. Then the barista set the cup in front of him, pouring out the froth of milk over the top of the light brown liquid. And Draco watched, riveted, as the young man proceeded to draw an elaborate picture into the froth with a red stir-stick. Once the barista turned the cup around, and Draco looked at the art full-on, he could see that it looked like the Dark Mark…a skull intertwined with a snake.

Draco's jaw dropped and he stared at the young man in shock. Then the barista smirked and held a finger to his lips, and whispered, "Mi sembra di aver capito che lei é un mago." _I know you are a wizard._ At that, Draco took a couple of Sickles from his pocket and tipped the barista. The young man pocketed the coins, nodding at Draco. He read the unspoken question in Draco's eyes and then replied, "Magonò." _Squib. He's a Squib._

All at once, Draco was fascinated and repulsed by the idea of having conducted business with a magical person who couldn't do magic. All his life, Draco had assumed Squibs were no better than house elves, but he also realized how valuable their services could be, now that he was traveling in the Muggle world.

Draco stood at the coffee bar by himself, eating his breakfast, trying his best to ignore those around him. It turned out that _la crostata alla nutella_ was a delicious chocolate tart. And although Draco wasn't used to having something so sweet for breakfast, he savored the pastry and drank his _cappuccino,_ sipping delicately around the Dark Mark design. Then he remembered his own Dark Mark, and the incident he had with it, and hurriedly stirred the thing into the rest of the liquid. Although he appreciated the barista's gesture, it was definitely not something with which Draco wished to be associated anymore.

The barista had rightly assumed that Draco had a companion who wasn't present, and had put Hermione's slice of tart into a little box. He had also put Hermione's cappuccino in a small paper cup with a lid and had given Draco a tiny bag with some napkins, a small plastic fork, and a stir stick. Draco gathered up his things, grateful that the day hadn't grown too hot yet. Wearing a black suit outside in Rome during August could doubtless get rather uncomfortable.

Draco walked back into the hotel room and Hermione had just stepped out of the bathroom and was finishing toweling off her long hair. So absorbed was she in her task, she hadn't even noticed that Draco had walked back into the room.

"I brought you some breakfast," he said.

"AH!" she exclaimed, holding her hand to her bosom, "you startled me!"

"Sorry," Draco covered a smirk in spite of himself. He set the tart, the cappuccino, and the small bag on the little table in their room. "Here you go."

For a time, Hermione simply stared in shock. "You did this all by yourself?" she said. She was starting to smile. Draco nodded.

"It's not like it was that difficult," he replied, shrugging, becoming more and more pleased with Hermione's reaction. "I hope you'll like it." Witches had certainly mentioned enjoying wizard chocolate, so Draco decided it couldn't be that much different for Muggle women either.

Hermione walked over to the table and inspected everything. She held the paper cup to her lips and sipped through the little opening in the lid.

"This is wonderful!" she exclaimed, with a large smile on her face. "Cappuccino, Draco?"

"Yeah," he said, his own smile growing wider. "Wait until you try _la crostata alla nutella,_" he said, pointing to the little box. Hermione opened the small pastry box, removed the fork from out of the bag, and cut into the tart. She sank her teeth in and closed her eyes, savoring the little morsel in her mouth. When she was done, she threw her arms around Draco.

"This is so thoughtful of you, Draco! Thank you so much!"

"Hey," he replied, wrapping his arms about her, a little bit shocked by her enthusiasm, "if I had known that you would react this way, I would have bought you some chocolate a long time ago!" He grinned down into her face, a special look that he realized that he saved just for her.

Hermione reached up and put her hand on his cheek, saying, "You really should do that more often."

Puzzled, Draco said, "What?"

"Grin at me. It makes you look so…different." Draco lightly shook his head.

"I think it's just you who sees me differently," he replied, now smiling softly at her.

Caught up in the moment, Hermione stood on tip-toe and kissed him.

"Whatever the reason," she said, "I love it when you look at me that way. I love it when you hold me like this. I love _you,_" she asserted, kissing him again.

"Yes, well, as much as I enjoy a good morning snog, same as the next man, you really should finish your breakfast," Draco said, grinning again.

Hermione sighed wistfully. "Yes, I know. Then we need to get on the road."

"Nope," said Draco, his smile threatening to widen again.

"What do you mean 'nope'?" Hermione demanded, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"We're going shopping, Hermione. You need some new clothes."

At that, her face colored up and she looked away, putting a hand on her stomach. "Do I really embarrass you that much?"

"It's nothing like that, Hermione," Draco said with exasperation. "I just want…you to look decent, so people won't stare and you won't feel so self-conscious." What Draco really wanted to say was, _I don't want people looking at you, judging you, thinking you're a trollop when you're not. I don't want you to look vulnerable. I think you're worth more than that, and you deserve respect._ He kept all the latter to himself, however. "Don't worry, I've spoken with the concierge downstairs. She said that there's a boutique for pregnant ladies within walking distance. I have her directions right here." Draco pulled out a little map the concierge had drawn him and handed it to Hermione.

Her mouth fell open in shock. "You….you checked into things for me, Draco? Just for me?"

"Give me a little credit," he smirked, walking back over to her, as he put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm not the same person used to be, okay? At least…not when it comes to you," he said. The weird thing was…it actually felt good to say it. Not only that, he meant it, too.

Hermione again wrapped her arms about his neck and held him tightly. "I know you're not," she said softly. "But that doesn't mean I'm not any less grateful."

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**A/N: Please forgive any mistakes in translation. My co-writer and I have limited experience with Italian and Italy, and we didn't have any friends to consult on the matter. My co-writer took a class in Italian years and years ago, and she learned a more formal way of speaking. If you have suggestions, we will correct it. We're doing our very best. Thank you. =]**


	41. Mighty Duel

**A/N: Hey everybody! Sorry about the break in posting chapters. However, after posting one, sometimes two, and in one occasion three times a day for 3 weeks, my co-writer and I got a bit burned out! Hope you enjoy this chapter. It was certainly entertaining to write. ;)**

* * *

Draco and Hermione had a brief argument over whether or not he would go with her to the little maternity boutique.

He sat down with Hermione and as she finished her tart, she turned to him and said, "I guess it's time for us to go to the maternity shop."

"Whoa," Draco said, "'us'"? he repeated.

Hermione's brow furrowed as she looked at him and said, "But I thought you said 'we' were going shopping…?"

"Yes, well," Draco said, "I meant that _you_ would go shop while I wandered around the streets for a bit."

"I see," Hermione answered disappointedly, as she looked down at the table.

"Aw," said Draco, "what's that look for? Surely you don't want me along…?"

"It's nothing," Hermione sniffled, "I just thought you'd like to be there…."

"Hermione," Draco said with exasperation, "I couldn't even stand going shopping with my own mother. What makes you think this would be any more agreeable?"

"I…I just th-thought…that since y-you found the shop, y-you'd want to g-go with me," Hermione said, her lip starting to tremble.

"But…Hermione…" Draco held out his hands helplessly.

"I-I don't even know the language, a-after all," she hiccupped. "And it is a f-foreign country."

"All right, fine," Draco said through clenched teeth, not wanting to upset her. "I'll go with you, but I don't have to like it."

Hermione brightened slightly and dabbed at her eyes. Draco wanted to slam his head against the wall. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He absolutely hated shopping, but what could he do? He didn't want to see Hermione cry. She was certainly more emotional than usual. Draco wondered whether or not it had to do with travel, or if it was just the pregnancy overall. And so with much reluctance, they traveled together to the little boutique.

Rome was an interesting city, and Hermione enjoyed walking along the streets, even with all the law enforcement everywhere. She and Draco walked through the Piazza della Rotonda, a large square in front of a building called the Pantheon. Hermione recognized it, and started rambling on and on about the architecture and the significance of the building to ancient Muggles, and Draco just let the words roll over him as if Hermione weren't even speaking. He really didn't understand what she was talking about anyway.

There was also a Muggle individual in the square, with white face paint and a strange hat with a funny white flower sticking out of it. The man wore a black waistcoat over a striped shirt, black plus-fours, striped socks, and it looked as if he were entertaining a crowd of people. They looked like tourists, and the mime was doing lots of silly antics and mocking passers-by.

"What the devil is he doing?" Draco asked, his lip curled.

Hermione smiled and explained, "That's a mime, Draco. Purely for entertainment purposes." And they watched as the mime proceeded to climb a pretend rope.

"I don't get it," Draco said, his face screwing up, "what's he climbing?"

"He's pantomiming climbing a rope, Draco," Hermione explained, as if talking to a young child, "it's not real. That's part of the magic."

Draco's face screwed up as he watched the mime now pretending to be in a glass box. "What magic? What's he inside of?" Draco demanded, now even more confused. "Did someone cast a Shield Charm over him or something?"

Hermione shook her head and rolled her eyes and pressed her lips together while trying not to laugh.

By that point in time, the mime noticed that Draco and Hermione were watching him. The mime walked over, took Draco's hand, shook it, and he proceeded to fall on the ground as if Draco had shaken his hand with brute force. The crowd laughed in the background.

Draco snarled his face and attempted to pull his hand away, but the mime instead held onto it, stood up, and flipped himself over onto the ground—giving the appearance to the crowd that Draco had been so strong that he had slammed the mime onto the stone bricks. The crowd of Muggles burst into applause and laughter as the mime finally let go of Draco's hand, stood up again, and proceeded to brush non-existent dirt off of himself. Draco yanked his hand away as if it had been burned.

Then the mime walked over to Hermione, reached behind her ear, and produced a white flower out of thin air. He presented it to her and bowed. The crowd applauded again. Hermione accepted the flower graciously, with a light smile on her face.

"That's rubbish," Draco said, with his lip curled in disdain. "He pulled the flower out of his sleeve."

The mime obviously understood English, as he stood there in front of Draco with his hands on his hips looking highly affronted at Draco's insult. Draco turned and started to walk away with Hermione, when the mime whistled at him. The crowd was looking on. Draco turned around and glared.

"What do you want?" he demanded of the mime. The mime proceeded to point to the street in front of himself.

"He's challenging you," Hermione whispered in dismay, close behind Draco's ear.

"Is he _serious?_" Draco said, as his mouth curved into a wicked smirk. He began to walk back toward the mime.

"No, Draco!" Hermione hissed, "don't do it!" And Draco shook her hand off his arm and proceeded to stand in front of the mime. The Muggle crowd was cheering for both of them now.

"They're too stupid to know the difference, Hermione," Draco called, with a knowing smirk, the noise of the applause masking what he was saying. "They'll think it's all for show." Herrnione stood off to the side, her hands over her face as if she were too afraid to watch.

Then the mime waved his hands intricately in front of himself and seemed to pull a bouquet of artificial flowers from out of thin air. He presented the bouquet of flowers to another woman in the crowd, to which the crowd cheered.

Draco then scoffed, pulled out his own wand, and he presented it to the group of people. Whistles and more applause followed. Even the mime looked surprised and proceeded to applaud him. Draco held his wand aloft and proceeded to conjure a thick jewel-encrusted golden goblet, which he caught midair in his hand. He presented the goblet to the crowd with a smirk and a stiff bow.

Gasps of delight and surprise punctuated the air, and the crowd applauded more for Draco than the mime. The mime's mouth dropped, and then he reached into his sleeve and pulled out yards and yards and yards of tied-together fabrics. In fact, it looked as if the fabric would never end. When it finally did, there was a large pile of brightly-colored fabric on the stones in front of the mime. He tipped his hat and bowed deeply in front of the crowd members , who whistled and clapped loudly for him.

Again, Draco smirked, held the golden goblet in front of him, and wordlessly conjured port wine from the tip of his wand and let it fill the goblet. The crowd watched in awe as Draco came forward and presented the goblet to a man amongst the onlookers.

The Muggle man glanced at Draco with a slightly concerned look on his face, to which Draco answered, "Drink." The man gingerly held the goblet up to his lips, took a sip, nodded and got a pleased smile on his face. Then the man turned around to the crowd and held the goblet aloft to the people saying, "It's delicious!" Even louder applause and cheers erupted this time.

"Of course, it's delicious," Draco muttered to himself, "I'm a wizard, you bloody fool." And Draco folded his arms, turned back to the mime, and smirked. By this time, Hermione had come out from behind her hands and was watching the magic battle with rapt attention.

The mime had pulled his hat off his head and presented it to the crowd, as if to show there was nothing tricky about it. Then he made some more complex hand gestures, reached into the hat, and pulled out a live white dove. The crowd cheered wildly as the mime let the dove fly away. The trick gave Draco slight pause, but he couldn't wait to show the crowd what he would do next.

"Serpensortia!" Draco threw out his wand, and a cobra appeared from out of the tip and dropped to the street. The snake quickly curled in on itself and flared its head, hissing at the crowd. The Muggles took a few steps back. A few in the crowd screamed. The mime looked at him with a hint of fear. Then the cobra disappeared into thin air, vanishing along the length of its body. The gasps of fear from the crowd turned once more into delight and wild happiness. Draco whirled around and stared briefly at Hermione. She had worked her wand out of her pocket and was holding it discreetly at her side, unnoticed by anyone else but Draco. He shook his head and smirked, before turning back around.

Out of desperation of losing the crowd, the mime had gone over to his belongings and produced two long tubular balloon swords. He walked up and handed one to Draco, who took it reluctantly. Then the mime began whacking Draco with his own balloon sword, as if to challenge Draco to a sword duel.

It was a huge insult to Draco. "So this is a joke to you?" said Draco. Out of pure disgust, he threw the balloon on the ground and popped it under his heel. Then the young wizard turned around, now highly annoyed with the mime, and shouted, "Everte Statum!"

And the mime flew away from him, knocked into another passerby, and both men fell to the street. The mime was now unconscious. Hermione ran up to Draco, who was now bowing sarcastically to the Muggle crowd. Now confused, the onlookers barely gave him any applause as Hermione grabbed Draco's hand and quickly rushed him away, muttering, "We'd better get out of here before you get us both arrested."

* * *

**A/N 2: There really are mimes in Rome. You can look them up on youtube. ;)**


	42. Counting the Stars

As soon as they enter the hotel room Hermione runs to the bathroom, the pregnancy making her make back to back trips there nearly constantly now. As the bathroom door shuts, Draco sits down in the brown chair next to the bed, untying his shoes. The hotel room was nicer, more spacious then the previous ones Draco and Hermione were used to and Draco had bribed the employee behind the desk with a little bit of extra money to make sure their hotel room faced out towards the ocean. After all, after three days they had finally made it to Sydney and Draco felt that was reason enough to celebrate with a little bit of an extra splurge. Hermione deserved it.

Just as Draco managed to get his shoes off, Hermione walks back out of the bathroom. Her eyes grow wide as she looks down at Draco's shoes on the floor, his socked feet exposed.

"What…what are you doing?" Hermione asks, a hint of hurt in her voice. "I thought we were going to go see my parents."

"Merlin Hermione," Draco sneers, "It's eleven o'clock at night. Normal people are in bed this late at night and I'm pretty sure for muggles, your parents were pretty normal. What did they do for a living?"

"They are dentists," Hermione answers, looking down at her pregnant belly in disappointment. "They cleaned people's teeth."

"A disgusting job," Draco snarls again, "But a normal job I assume, none-the-less. They are in bed."

Hermione thinks back to her childhood, growing up in the Granger household. Yes, her mother normally went to bed around nine o'clock but her father, he was always one to stay up late reading to Hermione or to himself about whatever his latest interest was at the time. Sometimes, he would read to Hermione about foreign countries she never thought she would be privileged enough to visit, such as Rome, Egypt, and Italy. Sometimes, he would read to her about mythical creatures she never believed existed, such as unicorns and dragons. Whatever his latest obsession was in, he would make sure to share with Hermione, filling her young head with knowledge but never in her life did her father go to bed early.

"Dad will still be up," Hermione whispers, hoping to convince Draco to go and see them.

"And what will he think? Whenever a pregnant teenager shows up on his doorstep saying she is his daughter at this time of night?" Draco states, "I want to meet them just as bad as you want to see them again, but you just don't go over to someone's house, anyone's house at this hour of the night. Now get ready for bed."

Hermione looks at Draco, tears welling up in her eyes. "But…but…"She starts, looking down at her lap as she sits on the bed.

"But nothing Hermione, we aren't going there this late at night. It is rude. You can wait until tomorrow morning." He hated making Hermione this upset but he just couldn't see visiting someone after dark. Even whenever Lucius was an active Death Eater, Draco had never seen the other Death Eaters come by after dark. It simply wasn't done. "Look at me," He whispers, sitting down beside her on the bed. "I got us this motel room for a reason. Look at that view." Draco whispers into Hermione's ear, pointing out vastness of the water making her feel even smaller and more alone. "Come on," he whispers, patting her on the back. "Let's go walk the beach."

Taking off the jacket to his suit, Draco rolls up the legs of his slacks before staring at Hermione in her knee length dress that he had bought for her at the Maternity Shoppe in Rome.

"Well," He says casually, "are you going to take your shoes off so we can go out there?"

Hermione, despite the tears, can't help but laugh. "Fine," She whispers softly, taking off her flats and socks. "Let's go see the ocean I guess."

Draco was right about the ocean, the beach, taking Hermione's mind off of the fact that the place that they believed her parents were was only a few kilometers away. Ever since Draco had step foot on the beach, Hermione had been doing nothing but talking about Hogwarts and Harry and Ron. How she couldn't help but wonder if they were okay, if Pansy and Blaise were still together since they had left Hogwarts and didn't have as much of an opportunity to 'do whatever Pansy and Blaise do'. Draco simply nodded his head, listening to what Hermione said, biting his tongue whenever she would say something about Harry or the Weasleys.

"If I know Pansy and Blaise, they are making time for their needs." Draco tells Hermione, holding her hand as they walk down the beach.

"Yea, you're probably right." Hermione replies, watching the waves roll in. "Pansy was just worried that her parents would-"

Draco can't help but laugh. Pansy's parents weren't concerned with her well-being any more than Lucius had been. They were more concerned with her marrying into a rich family that could 'take care of her' such as the Malfoys' had been. Draco couldn't count the number of times the Parkinsons' had set up a play date between Draco and Pansy growing up simply to get them to hang out together and hopefully a spark would ignite between the two.

"Trust me," Draco replies, a smile still on his face. "Once Pansy's mum finds out she is seeing Zabini, there will be no debate on whether or not he is good for her. In fact, I almost feel sorry for Blaise."

"And why is that?" Hermione asks, confused by Draco's laugh. She didn't see anything funny about Pansy's parents judgement on Blaise.

"Let's just say," Draco answers before pausing, trying to figure out the best way to phrase what he was trying to say, "Let's just say that the Parkinsons' are very concerned with Pansy's…financial needs…once she gets older. They could care less about what happened between Blaise and Pansy during or after Hogwarts, they are more concerned with whether or not Blaise can afford to take care of Pansy."

"Oh," Hermione answers, realizing now why Draco and Pansy had hung out so much in Hogwarts. Draco was a Malfoy and the Malfoys' were not only the purest of blood Hogwarts had to offer, but one of the richest families Hogwarts had to offer. Only the best of the best for a Slytherin.

"Sit down Hermione," Draco says, sitting down in the sand, his feet stretched out in front of him.

Hermione sits down next to Draco in the sand, staring out at the waves. The last time she had seen the ocean was when Harry buried Dobey, Hermione's heart sunk at the thought of that wretched day. The young couple sits in silence for a while, both just staring at the waves when Hermione finally looks over at Draco, her eyes questioning.

"What's your middle name?" She asks, trying to sound casual but unable to hide the fact that it simply wasn't a question.

"Lucius," Draco snarls, disgusted with the thought of having any extra ties to his father. "What's yours?"

"Jean," Hermione answers, "Hermione Jean." Sitting there for a little while longer, she stares at the waves, running different name ideas through her head before finally speaking up. "Well, that won't work then."

"What won't work?" Draco asks, looking over at her. Hermione's face quickly went emotionless, realizing Draco was paying attention to what she was saying.

"Nothing," Hermione blushes, embarrassed.

"What won't work Hermione? How won't something work because of a blasted middle name?" Draco asks, confused.

"I was trying to come up with a name for the baby." Hermione confesses, "Was thinking about maybe using your middle name if I liked it but…"

"Absolutely not." Draco barks, "We are not naming our son after him."

"I wasn't saying that we were." Hermione whispers, "I was actually saying we can use that as his name."

Draco looks up at the stars, his eyes automatically darting to the different constellations. "Everyone on the Black side of the family was named after a star, minus mum. She was named after a flower and is the only Black like that."

"Really?" Hermione asks, having never made the connection between the names and the constellations. Now she felt like an idiot for not making the connection before. "We should name the baby after a star, a constellation. Continue the tradition."

"You think?" Draco asks, shocked that Hermione was willing to follow any family traditions his family had carried, Black or Malfoy side. After all, Bellatrix was a Black.

"Yes, I do." Hermione replies, leaning back to look up at the stars. "What about that one?" she asks, pointing into the sky as she laid her head on Draco's shoulder.

"Leo? Naw, sounds too much like Theo. Do you really want your son to not have a backbone?"

Hermione laughs, "Ok, you have a point. What about Hydrus?"

"Hydrus Malfoy? Not quite. What do you think of that one?" Draco asks, wrapping his arm around Hermione and pointing up with his finger beside her face.

"Scorpius? It just don't feel right. Orion?"

"That was my grandfather's name, I would rather not." Draco stares up at the sky for a moment, going through the constellations. "What about-" He leans in close, his mouth right next to Hermione's ear. "Perseus?"

"Perseus Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asks, turning her head, looking into Draco's eyes.

"Who said he was going to have Draco as a middle name?" Draco smirks, trying to hide the look of shock on his face. Hermione seriously wanted to name her son, their son, after Draco. After everything he had done, she still wanted their son to look at him with pride.

"I would rather like our son to be named after a hero." Hermione smiles back, leaning into him.

"I just feel like Lucius doing that." Draco answers, suddenly serious. "like 'I'm Lucius, I think so much of myself, I am going to name my son after me' or some rubbish like that."

"You're not naming _our _son after yourself, I'm naming him after you." Hermione laughs, planting a kiss on Draco's cheek. "I think it's only fair seeing as how you have saved my life."

"Fine, you win." Draco shakes his head, a smirk on his face. "What am I going to do with you?" He laughs, laying her down on her back in the sand. Leaning in close to her face, he runs his fingers through her hair, cupping her cheek in his hand and staring into her eyes.

"So, you want our son to be named Perseus? Isn't that a bit too close to Percy Weasley for you?" Hermione asks, Draco leaning over her.

"No, our son will be nothing like Percy. Perseus is a strong name, a proud name. A Malfoy name through and through."

"It does sound rather strong, doesn't it?" Hermione asks with a smile, kissing Draco softly on the lips.

"What do you think of it?" Draco asks, raising Hermione's shirt up the slightest bit to expose her stomach. Hermione held her breath, Draco had never done anything intimate towards the baby yet, not even the smallest of things such as talking to the baby like this, and she was nearly six months along. Sure, he would rub her belly but he never acknowledged the baby inside.

Rubbing his hand on Hermione's lower stomach, Draco feels a slight pressure push against his hand.

"I'm…I'm sorry." Draco says, pulling his hand away quickly. "I didn't mean to…um…."

"What?" Hermione asks, used to feeling the kicks herself by now. "What's wrong? It actually felt quite nice."

"I don't know," Draco answers, not taking his eyes off of her stomach. "I think I hurt the baby."

"Draco." Hermione laughs, leaning up onto her elbows. "I promise, that gentle of a gesture did not hurt Perceus. Why do you think you hurt him?"

"I felt a…a push against my hand." Draco whispers, fear in his voice.

"That was the baby kicking, Draco." Hermione laughs, "He does that, watch." Grabbing Draco's hand, she puts it back down on her stomach where the previous kick had occurred. Feeling the baby kick, she watches Draco's eyes get big.

"He's doing that on purpose?" Draco asks, smiling.

"Well, not quite. He's more or less starting to run out of room," Hermione answers, looking down at her hand on Draco's.

"That's my son in there." Draco's grin was now ear to ear. "That's my son." Leaning down, he kisses Hermione's stomach gently. "I love you Perseus Draco Malfoy." He whispers before kissing her stomach again.


	43. Arguing in Australia

"Draco," Hermione whispers softly, watching him sleep. When she doesn't get a reaction, she whispers it a little bit louder. "Draco."

"What woman?" Draco answers back, keeping his eyes closed. Not even having a chance to have one of his nightmares, he felt like he had just barely fallen asleep whenever he awoke to Hermione calling his name. After all, they didn't get back to their room until a little after midnight.

"Are you awake?"

"Well, I am now." Draco answers, lying perfectly still. Keeping his eyes closed, he feels her move a little closer to him in the bed. "What do you want?"

"It's morning." She whispers softly, knowing that the night before he had promised her. "You said first thing in the morning we could go see them."

"Define morning." Draco replies, opening one eye to see her face.

"It's four a.m." Hermione tells him, a huge smile covering her face. She couldn't wait to go see her mother, her father. The night before, Draco had told her first thing in the morning they would go up and knock on the door. They would remind her parents of their forgotten daughter and let them know of their only grandson.

"Hermione," Draco pipes in. "It's four in the morning. Anyone, myself included, in their right mind would not be up this early in the morning. Please, go back to bed."

"Draco!" She screams back, "You promised!"

"I know I promised, but not at no bloody four in the morning. Normal people are sleeping at four in the morning, muggle included." With that, Draco closes his eyes again, trying to drift back to sleep.

"Draco," She whispers lightly, before picking up her voce the slightest bit. "Draco,"

"Fine, I'm awake woman. Merlin! But I am taking a shower first and we are eating breakfast." Hermione smiles as Draco walks into the bathroom with his duffle bag, knowing that she had won.

Getting out of the shower, which he purposely took longer than usual in, Draco sees that it is still only five in the morning, early enough for breakfast, but not nearly late enough to show up at someone's door six months pregnant saying that you are their daughter. Hermione was already dressed in a sundress, her wild hair pulled back into a ponytail. Draco couldn't help but stare at her, her true beauty shining through.

"Is..Did I do something wrong?" Hermione asks, flattening down her hair as she noticed Draco's stare.

"No, quite the opposite. It's just…you look…you're parents will be happy to see you." Draco out-of-the-ordinarily stutters, watching her push her hair down. "Now, let's go have some breakfast."

Leading Hermione to the restaurant downstairs from the hotel room they were staying at, Draco pulls out her chair, allowing her to sit down before pushing it back in. Smiling at him, she puts the red napkin in her lap, under the baby bump now protruding from her purple and orange dress, and sits up straight.

"Welcome to Sydney, may I interest you two in some breakfast this morning?" The waiter asks, looking from Draco to Hermione.

"Well, you tell me. What is good matey?" Draco asks, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as Hermione gives him a death glare, warning him to behave himself.

"The banana lassi is rather tasty." The waiter answers, not catching Draco's sarcasm. "As is the blueberry and buttermilk pikelets."

"I'll take the toasted muesli." Hermione answers, looking at the picture that looked similar to the oatmeal they had at Hogwarts.

"Toasted muesli for the lady." The waiter takes down, "And for you sir?"

"I'll try the blueberry and buttermilk pikelets, since you recommend it." Draco answers, handing the waiter the menus.

"I'll be right back with that sir." The waiter replies, coming back a few minutes later with Hermione's oats, draped over a yogurt and what appeared to Draco to be blueberry pancakes.

"This is pikelets?" Draco asks, looking down at his food once the waiter leaves. "Look like hotcakes too me. I don't know why he couldn't have just called them that."

Hermione shrugs as she takes a bite of her muesli, tasting the rich flavor of coconut and cranberries. Closing her eyes, she savors the taste before taking another bite.

"So, I was wondering." Draco asks, looking at his food. "What were you planning on telling your parents as to how-" He looks down at the table, where Hermione's pregnant stomach sat underneath.

"I am not quite for sure, I figured we could just let them assume." Hermione answers, turning red with embarrassment at the thought of telling her parents anything as to how she had gotten pregnant. "I mean, they had me. I'm sure they can figure out where babies come from Draco."

"I think we should tell them the truth," Draco answers, "My parents know."

"My father would kill you in your tracks if he knew this child was…was forced upon us." Hermione barks back, trying to keep her voice down.

"Well, it only seems right to tell them how it happened." He replies, taking a bite of his own food. "Muggle or not, surely they would understand."

"My parents would not understand." Hermione huffs back, frustrated. "They would be irate. Furious. They would kill you."

"I highly doubt a muggle would kill me." Draco answers, looking at Hermione through the top of his eyes.

"Okay, maybe they wouldn't kill you, but they would defiantly try." She replies, going back to her food.

"And what are you going to tell them if they ask how we met?" Draco asks, looking at her.

"Hogwarts." She answers, being short with him.

"And if they ask how long we've been together?"

"Six months." She replies, not looking up from her food.

"You are only six months along Hermione!" Draco answers, thinking of how that would sound to anyone's parents, even his own. "They are going to think they sent their daughter off to a boarding school to become a- a-" Draco stops himself, thinking about what he was going to say before the words come out of his mouth.

"Just say it Draco, because that's probably what they are going to think anyway." She hollers, tears welling up in her eyes.

"They are not going to think that." He says, putting his hand on hers, trying to comfort her.

"They are, all of Hogwarts already does. I am a hussy who cheated on Ron with you. You think I didn't hear the rumors?" She cries, tears now streaming down her face.  
"You are not a hussy, and you didn't cheat on Weasley with me. We both know the truth and your parents didn't even know you were dating Weasley did they?"

"Well, no." Hermione answers, not thinking about it.

"So, we have been dating throughout Hogwarts if it makes you happy. Throughout the war, if that's what you want to tell your parents." _Anything to get you to stop crying. _"Your parents don't have to know the bloody truth if that is what you want."

"Really?" She asks, her cheeks now tearstained. "You would do that for me?"

"I don't agree with it, but yes I would. Anything to make you happy." Draco answers, ashamed of himself for even making her cry in the first place.

"O-okay." She agrees. "so we met at Hogwarts, we have been dating for-"

"Since the summer of our seventh year, right after you obliviated them." Draco fills in, trying to think of what sounded believable. "And you got pregnant that March, our first time."

"That- that does sound believable, don't it?" She asks, looking at him as he nods his head.

"And then you don't sound like a hussy, you sound like a girl who fell in love and wound up with-" Draco ends his sentence, trying to think of the best way to put it.

"With child." She answers, wiping her cheeks off.

"Exactly. Now, come on." He says, patting her hand as he looked at the clock behind her. "It's nearly six, the muggles should be rising here shortly."

Placing enough money on the table to cover their bill plus a tip, Draco pulls out the chair for Hermione, leading her out the door and down the street, towards where they suspected her parents were now living.


	44. Once Upon A Memory

Hermione's breath was taken away as the taxi crossed the Sydney Harbour Bridge at sunrise. The way the sun shone through the clouds, the view of the Opera House, the span of water below them with a simple boat gliding across the water. For a split second, looking out over the water, Hermione could forget what they were in Sydney for. She could pretend that for a second, they were simply tourists like everyone else. That they were simply going to see the views, to go to the Opera House and walk the beach late at night. She could pretend that they were not going to fix the worst thing she had ever done to her parents, erasing their memories of her.

"Look at that view," Hermione whispers, "Isn't it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?"

"Yea," Draco replies dreamily from behind her, "She is."

Hermione turns around, caught off guard by what Draco had said just to see him staring at her. A blush covers her cheeks as she smiles, placing her hand on his. "I was talking about the water." She laughs, the blush going from her cheeks down her neck. Looking back out the window, she gazes at the scenery. The water was so peaceful, how it could go out as far out as she could see, how smooth the water sat minus where the boats went by, causing waves of white foam to come up behind them. She was almost discouraged as they got off the bridge and were back on land, driving further into Sydney.

The house that the taxi pulled up in front of was a little yellow house with white shutters. A white picket fence surrounded the house, a rose bush with pink roses on it. Hermione knew how the rose bush had gotten there; her mother always had been one with a green thumb. For the first time since Draco had told Hermione they were going to meet her parents, she was terrified as she gave a gentle shiver.

"It's very muggle," Draco whispers, as he pays the driver and the taxi drives off. "Disgustingly muggle."

"My parents were muggle, Draco." Hermione growls under her breath. "Of course it's muggle."

Walking up the porch stairs, Draco grabs Hermione's hand before knocking. "What exactly are you planning on doing Hermione?" He asks cautiously. "You can't just walk in there and tell them you are their daughter."

Hermione looks at the mailbox thinking it through, seeing the name 'Wilkins' in bold black lettering. Three handprints sat on the mailbox, her father's recognizable hand, as well as her mothers, and a small, tiny little hand. Suddenly, a realization hits. Her mother was pregnant again when she altered their memories. They had a daughter whose name was below the little handprint. 'Hermione' it said in small print. "A name I had picked out for you since I was little." Her mother had told her.

"Come on Draco, let's go home." Hermione whispers as a tear streams down her face. Her parents had already had their daughter, Hermione Wilkins.

"What about meeting your parents?" Draco asks, confused.

"Look," Hermione answers, pointing at the mailbox. "They already have a daughter. Let's head back to the Manor. I'm ready to go back home and see Pansy."

"Okay," Draco answers, "We will floo out in the morning."  
"No," Hermione answers, "Let's fly."

"It's too far of a distance." Draco answers, thinking of how long it would take to fly there on broomstick.

"Not if we go by plane."  
"By what?" Draco asks, fear filling his eyes.


	45. Flying: The Muggle Way

Hermione watched as Draco nervously walked through the metal doorway of the metal detectors, the guard standing by nodding a sign that he could walk through as he handed Draco the bucket with his belongings. Draco put his belt back on as the uniformed man in front of him stared at the galleons in the box. Draco quickly grabbed them up, glaring at the man as he stuck them in his pocket.

"Come on, let's go." He whispers to Hermione, "What next?"

"Now we wait." Hermione answers, walking towards a coffee shop within the airport and ordering two cappuccinos. Walking back over to a tall table, she sits down on the stool, setting the drinks in front of her as Draco walks over next to her.

"I don't see why we are doing this." Draco snarls, "We can travel perfectly fine with floo powder."

"We are doing this Draco," She snaps back, the hormones from the pregnancy getting to her. "Because it is faster and I am ready to go home."

"Would rather apparate." He snarls again, scrunching his nose in disgust. "So, how does this work exactly?"

"We board the plane, sit down and buckle our seatbelts." Hermione answers, Draco giving her a look of total confusion. _Oh boy,_ She thinks to herself, _this is going to be fun. _Looking out the window across the hall from where they were sitting, she points as a plane lifts off into the air. "See that?" She asks, causing Draco's eyes to go wide with fear. "That's what we are taking."

"That giant metal creature?" He asks, the fear of a young child in his eyes. Hermione hadn't seen that look in a while, since they were young in Hogwarts and she couldn't help but quiver when she saw it, knowing how scared he really was. She couldn't imagine how scary this was.

"Draco!" She says in a demanding tone, knowing it would get through to him more than her usual gentle tone would. "You have faced Voldermort," He quenched as his arm burned at the sound of the Dark Lord's name. "you have taken the Dark Mark. I think you can ride in an airplane. You just sit down in a seat, lean back and relax. The flight is twenty-six hours."

"Twenty-six hours? But Hermione! That's going to take forever, we should just floo there and at least then we can see the views." _And stay on the ground. _Draco argues, earning himself a glare.

"We have already paid for the tickets, it's a muggle experience." Hermione answers firmly.

"Sodding perfect, a muggle experience. Let's just get a muggle house, a toaster, and a giant talking box while we are at it." He answers sarcastically.

"That's not fair Draco!" Hermione barks back, "You are being a close-minded child right now. We are going by plane! I am ready to go home."

"I understand that Hermione, but we can go home easily without relying on muggle transportation. This is just silly. No wonder muggles die so young, look at what they rely on." He answers, looking out the window at another plane lifting off. "It's dangerous."

"And being a" She stops, looking down at his forearm so that she don't have to say the words, "Being that isn't?"

"That's different!" He answers defensively.

"NO! It isn't!" She barks back as a female voice comes over the intercom, causing Draco to jump.

_"Flight 297, boarding now."_

"Come on," Hermione says, still furious. Throwing their cups away, Hermione leads Draco to where they are boarding. A blonde woman with bright blue eyes, a white button down shirt and a blue pencil skirt stood at the doorway.

"Tickets please?" The blonde asks, holding her hand out as Hermione hands her the tickets. The woman nods, allowing them to go through, looking at Draco for a little bit longer due to his white hair. He smiles and winks, causing the woman to nearly fall where she stood.

Once in the plane, Draco felt his own body tense up. It was small and compact, the seats close together. Many of the muggles on the plane were putting their bags in the cargo compartments above the seats. "Here are our seats." Hermione whispers, pointing down at two of the seats, one by the window. "I'll sit by the window, you look like you are about to pass out already."

"Are you sure this is safe?" Draco asks, looking around the compact space again. "It looks like a deathtrap."

"It's no more dangerous than when we traveled by train to Hogwarts Draco." Hermione answers honestly. "I promise." Draco looks around one last time timidly before sitting down next to her as she fastens both their seatbelts. "It's okay. We will be fine."

Leaning back, Draco prepares for liftoff, whatever that meant. Unsure of what to expect, he holds on tightly to the armrests as the room starts to move underneath him. He watches out Hermione's window as they move around the giant black field, seeing bits of blue go by slowly. "What are they doing?" He asks her quietly.

Hermione answers through closed eyes, "They drive around a little bit before lift off, it warms up the motor and allows them to get some speed."

"Speed for wha-" is all Draco can ask before he leans back in his seat, feeling the difference underneath him as the plane takes off. It was nothing like flying on a broom, where he leaned into the broom, raising it slightly to gain height, feeling the wind blow through his hair. Here, he simply sat in his seat, feeling the pressure against him as the plane got into the air. He watched out Hermione's window as the buildings, the towns, got smaller and smaller until they were simply groups of lights below. "It is beautiful." He whispers once they are in the air.

"I told you it wasn't so bad." Hermione answers, her lips forming a smile as she kept her eyes closed.


	46. A Broom, A Ring, and A Dream

Twenty-six hours later, Hermione's eyes slowly fluttered open as the plane landed. Getting off of the plane with Hermione's handbag, which had the extendable charm on it to carry all of their stuff, the couple gets off, Draco thankful that they are back on solid ground. He couldn't help but smirk as they passed the baggage station, seeing everyone else grabbing their suitcases off of a moving black belt. "Pathetic muggles." He says to himself with a cocky pride. "They don't even realize how pathetic they really are."  
"Well, for being pathetic they sure did get a pregnant woman from Australia to London in twenty six hours." Hermione huffs back in frustration.

"Your hormones are getting to you again." Draco barks back angry with Hermione for proving a point.

Her cheeks turned red as she stomped out of the airport, Draco right on her toes. He couldn't help but be thankful when he noticed the sun was setting there in London. "Give me my broom." He whispers, once they get out of the view of muggles.

"And why should I? So you can leave me here!" She says, still furious.

"No, I was actually going to take you with me." He barks back, "Now give me my broom." Hermione looks at him reluctantly before handing him the bag. Reaching into the bag, he feels around until he can find the handle, pulling out his broomstick. "See?" He says, handing her the dark green bag back, which she put back on her shoulder. "Climb on." He tells her as he puts his leg across the broomstick, straddling it. Looking at him suspiciously, Hermione climbs on, holding on tight to him. Squealing with laughter, she grips Draco tighter as he causes the broomstick to go straight up into the air. "There is a place I want to take you."

"Where is it?" Hermione asks, curiosity getting the best of her.

"Paradise." Is the only word he whispers as he flies quickly through the air, the muggle houses and streets below them getting smaller and smaller. "You have shown me how you fly, I couldn't wait to get back on a broomstick."

Hermione laughs again, forgetting that she was angry with him only minutes prior. She held him close, enjoying the trip and the warmth of his body as the wind blew through her hair. Never in a million years did she imagine Draco could be so sweet, so romantic as he was during this trip. As supportive as he was as she cried on his shoulder during the plane ride home. Her hands went from around his stomach up to his chest as she placed her head gently on the back of his shoulder, closing her eyes.

"Hermione, wake up." Draco whispers, causing Hermione's eyes to flutter open again.

"Sorry," She whispers, sitting up. "Jet lag, I guess."

"Jet what?" Draco asks with confusion as they got off of the broom.

"Jet lag," Hermione repeats, "It's where-" The view stops her train of thought as she sees where Draco had taken her. The grass on the hillside that they stood on overlooked a beautiful lake that reflected the colors of the sunset. The dark purple and orange covered the lake, a soft breeze blowing Hermione's hair back, exposing a bit of her neck.

"Do you still have that blanket we bought in Africa?" Draco asks as Hermione reaches into her bag, pulling out a folded up blanket and handing in to Draco. Flipping the blanket out, he lays it flat on the green grass, showing the beauty of the African artwork on the piece of cloth. It was plain stripes, a few of a dark crimson red, with black diamonds on it, alternating with the black and white stripes, making it memorizing with the view. Laying down on the blanket, he pats a spot next to him. "Lay with me Hermione."

"Draco, what are you doing?" Hermione whispers, eyeing his suspiciously.

"I'm trying to enjoy the view with my fiancee and my son." He answers, the look on his face not changing at all.

"Wait!" Hermione says, suddenly attentive to what Draco had said. "You...You just said..."

"I know what I just said Hermione," Draco answers with a smirk. "Marry me?" Reaching for his wand, Draco looks over at a rock. "I sent Blaise a patronus, having him hide this. Accio ring." A little box with a ring inside comes flying out from behind the rock into Draco's hand. He doesn't get up, instead simply opens the box, laying it beside him and lays back on his back, closing his eyes.

"You...Are you serious Draco?" Hermione asks, still in shock.

"No woman, I decided this was a cruel idea for a joke. Do I look that childish? Now look at the sodding ring." He says, never opening his eyes.

Hermione sits down next to him, looking down at the box. The ring had a silver band, two hearts connecting the band on either side. The hearts were slanted to the right, connected right at the curve. The one on the right a deep emerald green. The one on the left held the same deep tint but in a ruby red. "It..it's beautiful." She whispers, unable to take her eyes off of the ring.

"Of course it's beautiful." He answers, still keeping his eyes closed casually. "Only the best for a Malfoy and you will be the first Malfoy in the line to be a Gryffindor. I couldn't leave that out. Now tell me, will you marry me?" Despite the fact that his eyes were closed to appear calm, he was dying inside of anticipation. Him and Blaise had planned this out to a tee, Blaise being the one to tell him to keep his eyes closed, Blaise telling him he had found the perfect ring, and Draco coming up with the time and place to do it. Whenever he had seen the blanket sitting there in a local booth as they walked through the streets of Africa, having already sent out the first Patronus to Blaise, he knew that would fit in perfectly. Now all he needed was Hermione's agreement, the hardest part.

"Of...Of course I will Draco!" She screams out, wrapping her arms around his neck. It caught him off guard, causing his eyes to open immediately as she pressed her lips to his passionately. "Of course I will marry you."

Draco let out a sigh of relief as he watched Hermione put on the ring, it looking beautiful on her hand. Immediately, she started planning talking about how she was going to ask Pansy to be her maid of honor and the wedding colors, the deep green and red of course, who she was going to invite. "Well, we have to invite Harry, he was the first to be supportive and-"

"We are inviting Potter?" Draco asks, the tone in his voice suddenly turning a bit angry which caused Hermione to flinch.

"Well of course we are inviting Harry. He stood up for me, was the first to wish us congratulations." Hermione answers, not leaving Draco much room for questioning.

"But it's Potter. He has been my worst enemy for-"

"You saved each others lives on numerous occasions Draco. Besides, Harry is my friend. He is coming." Hermione barks back, glaring at Draco before continuing. "And we will invite Neville and Luna, Molly and Arthur, Blaise and Pansy, if Harry is coming than so is Ginny, and Ron."

"Weasley too?" Draco barks again, fury filling him. "After everything he said to you!"

"He has still saved my life Draco!" Hermione yells back, "We were the Golden Trio, I can't get married without them there."

"Fine." Draco growls, not wanting to argue with her again. "But not my father."

"Deal." Hermione answers, pleased. "And we can get married there at the Manor with the peacocks in the yard, your mum will look so beautiful, I'll have her wear a green dress." Hermione says, her eyes lighting up at the thought. "And I'll ask Arthur to walk me-" Her voice stops as she comes to a realization, tears welling up in her eyes.

"What is it Hermione?" Draco asks, sitting up suddenly concerned. Wrapping his arm around Hermione to comfort her, she leans into his shoulder, bursting into tears.

"It...It...It's not fair." Hermione chokes out in sobs. "My...my father...he...he'll never walk m...me down the aisle. He...he...he'll ne..never see me get married." She cries as Draco wraps both arms around her, pulling her into his chest.

"It's okay Hermione. I promise. I know that it must be hard but we agreed on the plane. You said this was easier. That they already had their daughter. That it would be too hard explaining to them-"  
"I...I know...bu...but..." She stammered before breaking down again.

"I know. I know." Draco whispered, patting down Hermione's hair. He knew there was nothing more he could say. So instead, he just continued to comfort her until there, under the stars, with a green and red ring on her left hand, Draco watched her fall asleep in his arms.


	47. What Are Friends For

**A/N: Any of my dedicated readers interested in joining a Harry Potter RP Forum, me and my co-writer have created one called The Return To Hogwarts, and are still in need of some major and minor characters. Please PM me if you are interested in joining. It really is a blast! As of right now, we are in need of Astoria, Hermione, Lavender, Neville, Pansy, Goyle, and Crabbe as some of the more major characters. I would love to get some more Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff in there, but anyone is great.  
**

Whenever they returned to the Manor, Narcissa was more than thrilled at the thought of Draco and Hermione getting married. The past month had been nothing but torture for Draco, having to sit in and listen to the talk of dresses and flowers, whether or not Hermione would lose what little baby weight she had gained in time for the wedding, which Draco didn't see as being any but if they insisted. Talk of how the wedding would be set up in the backyard, as Hermione had planned, and whether or not to even tell Lucius, who was still in the Psychiatric Ward of St. Mungo's of his son's wedding, which they had finally settled on not doing. Sitting beside Hermione there in the Drawing Room at the table, they created a few guest lists of people to be invited when Draco walked in.

"Wedding stuff again?" Draco asks, a look of disgust on his face. "You do realize that we are waiting until after Perseus is born to get married, right?"

"And the wedding isn't going to plan itself Draco." Narcissa answers, tapping her quill on the table trying to think. The guest list wasn't the longest, making sure not to include any of the still dedicated Death Eaters. That took out the Crabbe family, the Nott family (minus Theo and his date, the boy didn't have the courage to make it as a Death Eater), and the majority of the Goyles. Leaving simply, on Draco's side, Ms. Zabini, who wouldn't have a date due to the loss of her latest husband, and the Parkinsons, who Narcissa would probably sit and chat with most of the evening over a glass of mead.

"Beside," Hermione pipes in, "Perseus is due in a month, that isn't nearly enough time to plan a wedding."

Draco sighed in defeat, knowing once again he had lost the battle against his mother and Hermione. "Well, our guests are here. Do you remember how you were going to ask them?"

"How _I _was going to ask them?" Hermione repeats, frustration in her voice. "I thought we agreed that _we _were going to ask them, not I."

"However you decide to do it." Draco answers, "Either way, they are here."

Hermione stands up, walking towards the door and gives Narcissa a grin over her shoulder. "Go on dear," Narcissa answers, "I will take care of this."

As Hermione walks out of the Drawing Room and up the stairwell leading to the Grande Entrance, the room where she had been tortured and Draco had been pressured into conceiving their child, she is embraced with a warm hug, reminding her that despite the war, now everything was okay.

"Hermione," The warm voice says as Hermione looks into her now best friend, Pansy's, eyes. "I am so glad you're back. Tell me everything. How was Africa? How was Italy? How did Drakey...you know?"

Draco flinched at the thought of the old childhood nickname as he walks over to Blaise with a smile. "They never get tired of talking about the sodding wedding." He whispers, "Thank Merlin there is finally some more testosterone in the house."

Blaise smirks at the thought. "Actually, it is miserable on my end too." He confides, "All Pansy can talk about now is when we are going to get married and have babies." He says with a quiver.

"Glad I could be of some assistance." Draco answers with a proud smirk. "We were meaning to ask you-"

"Oh My!" Pansy suddenly interrupts with a high-pitched squeel, "Of course I will be your Maid of Honor. I would be..well...honored." She giggles.

"And you want ME to be your best man?" Blaise asks, raising an eyebrow at Draco.

"Well, that was the original idea, yes." Draco replies in frustration, watching Pansy embrace Hermione in another hug.

"Yea," Blaise answers, smacking Draco playfully on the shoulder. "If I must."

"It'll be so much fun Hermione." Pansy continues, her squealing voice piercing Draco's ears. "We will plan everything and it will be beautiful and then whenever Blaise and I get" Blaise and Draco exchanged a glace at the thought, causing Draco to smirk once again with pride. "married, you can be my Maid of Honor and you can plan all my stuff. It'll be so much fun."

Hermione smiled across the room at Draco as Pansy held her arms around her, making sure to lean over as to try not to touch her belly.

"Oh," Hermione remembered, "We were also going to ask.."

Draco smirked again.

"Yes! Yes! Anything!" Pansy squealed with delight, still thrilled at the thought of being in the wedding.

"If anything happens to Hermione and I-"

"Are you crazy?!" Blaise interrupts, "Nothing is going to happen."

"This is coming from the guy who has had seven stepfathers." Draco says with a bite, causing Blaise to surrender the argument, not wanting to get onto the topic of his mother's affairs. "If anything were to happen to Hermione and I, someone would need to take care of Perseus."

"What about your mum?" Blaise asks, having always seen the better side of Narcissa, even if she was a more proper woman.

"And risk him growing up like me? Are you sodding crazy!" Draco barks back, "Do you not remember what happened in Hog's Head."

"Fair enough." Blaise answers coldly.

"We want someone who will raise him as we would. And unfortunately we couldn't find someone so-"

"Spit it out Draco!" Blaise finally screamed, frustrated with Draco's rambling.

"Would you be Perseus' godparents?" Draco finally says, equally furious.

"Oh, of course we would Draco." Pansy says happily. "We would love to. And now we have to have one so that they are close in age Blaise. We are already looking at nine months in between them. Any longer and.."

Blaise ignores the rest of what Pansy was saying. Her rambling on about children and love and marriage had gotten to be enough for him. "I miss the days when it was just 'Hey, shag me.'" he confides to Draco, before pulling him out into the hallway. "You can still make her pain go away. Why the bloody hell haven't you yet?" He asks. "I can see it, even if she is happy about the wedding, she is torn up inside. Have you seen the way she walks around here, she is a zombie."

"She has come a long way Blaise, mind your own." Draco barks back, "It's none of your concern."

"You have made me a godfather, it is my concern." Blaise argues back, trying to keep his voice down. "And I know the spell. If you don't do it, I will."

Draco looks at him, unsure of what else to say. "Fine," He whispers softly, "Give me until our wedding."


	48. Bellatrix, Battles, and A Baby?

**A/N: Any of my dedicated readers interested in joining a Harry Potter RP Forum, me and my co-writer have created one called The Return To Hogwarts, and are still in need of some major and minor characters. Please PM me if you are interested in joining.  
**

_"Scream my little mud blood." Bellatrix laughs, leaning over Hermione's fresh wound. The words telling her what she will forever be labeled as as the blood drips down her arm. "Scream out in pain."_

_"N….No." Hermione forces out through gritted teeth, "I…I won't."_

_"CRUCIO!" Bellatrix says with a laugh as Hermione feels her body wretch out in pain. Her nerves hurt, her bones hurt, and her skin felt as if her pores had become needles as she cries out in pain, kneeling over._

_"Y…You're dead…"Hermione manages to break out through the scream. "Yo…You can't hurt me anymore."_

_The crazed woman leans over Hermione, smiling her toothless smile as Hermione nearly gags on the smell of her rotten breath. "That is where you are wrong deary." She says with a sadistic cackle, "Auntie Belle will always be around. Simply look at your son."_

Waking up in a cold sweat, Hermione looks over at a still-sleeping Draco next to her. She couldn't help but shiver as she climbed out of bed, being careful not to wake him, and tip-toed barefoot down the hall to Perseus' empty nursery room. The walls were still white, an argument they had been carrying on for weeks now as to what color they would paint it. Draco insisting on the traditional Slytherin colors and Hermione saying she didn't want to pre-place Perseus when there was a chance still that he could become a Gryffindor, a decision that would be made based off of his own personality not either hers or Draco's. Sitting down quietly, she stares at the walls while sitting in a rocking chair Narcissa had given them from whenever Draco himself was an infant, wondering what house their son could possibly be placed in.

"Where do you want to be?" She whispered softly, rubbing her stomach. "We can't simply leave your room white forever?"

"He's going to be Slytherin." A voice from behind her calls out, causing Hermione to turn around in the chair quickly. Draco stood there in the doorway, his plaid pajama pants and a green shirt covering him. "Heard you get out of bed," He continues, "I couldn't sleep with you gone."

Nodding in understanding, Hermione looks up at him, fighting against gravity and her now-obvious baby belly to stand up and talk to him. "We shouldn't try to judge his house for him. He could be brave and daring like a Gryffindor."

"He is going to be a Slytherin Hermione. He is a Malfoy, Malfoys are Slytherins." Draco answers sternly, already sick of this argument playing out again.

"I am going to be a Malfoy Draco!" Hermione snaps back furiously, Draco already being able to see the fire in her eyes in the moonlight. "And I'm not a Slytherin."

"That's different," He says, raising his voice in the slightest, "You will be married into the Malfoys."

"And HE will be my son!" Hermione hollers back, "Do you not think that plays any part in the fact Draco? That he will not get any of my traits!?"

"Oh I hope he does." Draco yells, before adding in a dig out of fury. "But I hope your temper isn't one of them!"

"WHY! You inconsiderate twit!" Hermione screams back. "I never in my life-"  
"Never in your life what Hermione? Never in your life thought that maybe no one else wants to hear you bitch because things don't go your way?" He hollers at her, causing tears to well up in her eyes from anger.

"Look who's talking Draco!" Hermione bit, "If I had a sickle for every time all of Hogwarts got to hear about how Draco didn't get the broom he wanted, or how Draco had to serve detention. It was always about what didn't go your way!"

Draco, now furious that she had even brought that up, simply kept his mouth shut. He knew whatever he didn't say couldn't be nearly as hurtful at this point as what he wanted to say. He looked down before glaring back up at Hermione. "His room will be green and he will be a Slytherin." He says coldly, not leaving any room for questioning as he started to turn around and walk out of the room.

"I am NOT Narcissa!" Hermione screamed at the top of her lungs, causing Draco to stop dead in his tracks, not even turning around as he closed his eyes trying to focus on anything but what Hermione had just said.

"You're what?" He asks sternly, giving her ample opportunity to change what she had said.

"I said I am NOT Narcissa and I will NOT bow down to your every wish Draco Malfoy!" Hermione repeats furiously.

"Is that…" Draco asks turning around slowly. "Am I really acting like Lucius?"

"YES!" Hermione screamed at him, tears now streaming down her face. "Trying to tell me what to do like I don't-" Stopping, she kneels over in pain, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she grits her teeth. The pain was instant and excruciating as she held onto her stomach, breathing in and out quickly to try and control the pain.

"Hermione!" Draco hollers, running over to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she stood back up. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to argue with you! Are you okay?"

Breathing in quick, short breaths Hermione tries to focus on what Draco is saying as she feels another sharp jab to her abdomen causing her to squeal out a small squeak in pain as she knelt back over. "Draco…go…get…Narcissa." Hermione puffs out with each short breath, trying to control the pain.

"Are you okay?" He asks, no longer concerned about the argument. "What happened? What did I do?"

"I'm…..having….the….baby." Hermione continues, "Go….get…Narcissa."

Draco nods, not wanting to leave Hermione's side in case something went wrong but knowing he couldn't deliver the baby himself, having no idea where to even begin on that note. Taking one last look at Hermione, who he had led back over to the rocking chair, he closed his eyes as he apparated from the Guest House over to the Malfoy Manor, praying Hermione would be okay. "I can't lose her." He whispers to himself before running up the stairs in the Grande Entrance, taking them two steps at a time until he reached the top and headed towards the room that was familiar to him from his childhood, his parent's old bedroom. He didn't even knock, pushing the door open quickly to expose a king size four poster bed in the middle of the room, Death Eater artifacts along the far wall on a book shelf and a powder table sitting next to the bed, where Draco had oftentimes as a child watched his mother brush her hair silky smooth before bed. In the bed, his mother slept, her nightgown being one of 'lady-like nature' as she had told Draco, covering her not only down to nearly her ankles, but going the full length of arms too, stopping at her wrists. "Mum!" Draco whispers sternly. "Mum! Wake up!"

"What is it my dear?" Narcissa asks, jumping awake. "What's wrong?"

"It's Hermione." He answers, looking his mother in the eyes. "She…she's knelt over in pain. I think she's…"

"She's having the baby." Narcissa fills in, "Quickly Draco, where is she at?" She asks, jumping out of bed and walking over towards the door in her nightgown.

"She's in Perseus' nursery." Her son answers before looking up. "Mum, we argued. I stressed her out. Is she going to be okay?"

"She's going to be fine Draco." Narcissa answers, rubbing her son's cheek softly for a second. "But I do suggest you don't be like your father." Draco looked at her confused, unsure of what she was talking about. "Your father put me into labor that way too. Whenever I had you, there was no apology for his behavior."

"What were you arguing over?" Draco asks, unsure if it mattered.

"Whether or not you would be a Death Eater son." Narcissa says with a sigh, "I guess in the end, he always knew he would win. There was no other way."


	49. Perseus

Nine hours later, Draco stood there in the delivery room of St. Mungo's holding Hermione's hand as they heard their son cry for the first time. Finally letting his guard down, showing his weakness, he cries onto Hermione's hand. "Do you hear him Hermione? Do you hear our son cry?"

Hermione nods lightly, still in shock from the pain, the potion that the Healers had given her to help ease the pain and the blood loss from the traumatic birth of their son. It hadn't been an easy one and for a while, Draco thought he was going to lose her as the Healers had thrown out words he couldn't understand such as Abnormal Presentation, breech, and umbilical cord compression. The words meant nothing to him, not knowing what they could possibly mean, but the way the Healers said them, the way they scuffled around nervously, shouting out that they needed assistance and that the baby needed to be born as soon as possible was enough for him. _I did this to you, _he thought as the Healers stood around and Draco held Hermione's nearly limp hand during the delivery, _I was the one who put you in this situation to begin with. _

He kissed her hand lightly as he looked up at her numb eyes, seeing the same look he had seen there at the Manor whenever his aunt had forced them into the bedroom. The same look whenever she lay there on the floor as Potter and Weasley burst into the room, saving her.

"Do you want to hold him?" The Healer asked Draco, breaking him out of his trance.

"I'm sorry." Draco answered.

"Do you want to hold your son?" She replied, looking over at Hermione. "We need to work on Miss Granger a bit, if you want to hold your son. To show him to the family you have out in the waiting room."

Draco nodded, still thinking more about Hermione's health than anything as the Healer handed over the bundle in the light blue blanket. Pushing the blanket back, Draco sees a small tuff of the white hair that had been passed down through generations of the Malfoy family. He stood in awe, looking down at the sleeping child, the delicate white eyelashes and his tiny little nose. He had Hermione's jawline, a very delicate one that seemed to curve perfectly, and her thin lips and slept like Draco, where it looked like his eyes were simply closed and not him sleeping. A smile crossed Draco's face as the baby's eyes opened, exposing not the silver of Draco's own eyes, the silver he had gotten from his father, but the chocolate brown shade that Hermione's eyes carried. Suddenly, it all made sense. He wasn't Lucius raising another Draco, he was Draco raising his and Hermione's son, Perseus Draco Malfoy.

Holding his son cautiously, Draco walked out into the waiting room to see his mother, Blaise and Pansy, Harry and Ginny, and Ron waiting on edge. Narcissa quickly taking the baby out of Draco's hands, holding him lovingly as Pansy and Ginny hurried over to see the bundle of joy.

"What happened in there?" Ron asks, having been there since he got the Peacock Patronus from Narcissa stating Hermione was in labor.  
He couldn't fight the fact that he hated Malfoy but this wasn't about Malfoy, it was about Hermione.

Draco's face went white as he replayed everything that had happened over the past nine hours in his head. Taking a deep gulp, he tries to fight back the urge to throw up as he tells Ron, Harry, and Blaise what had happened. "She lost a lot of blood." He starts off, sitting down and looking at the bundle the women on the other side of the room were cuddling up to. "They said that the baby was backwards. That Perseus' cord was..." He stops, taking a deep breath as he put his head in his hands. "His cord was wrapped around his neck." Draco continues, "They were worried that he couldn't breath. That he was gone and that...that all of this was for nothing." Looking up, he looks Harry in the eyes, blocking out the fact that Blaise and Ron were even there anymore. "I thought that after everything I had really lost them both." He tells Harry, getting a nod in return.

"Mr. Malfoy" A female healer said softly, coming back out into the waiting room. "Hermione is ready if you want to take the baby back to see her."

Walking over, Draco picks the baby up from a reluctant Narcissa, her giving the baby one last kiss on the forehead before Draco walked back to the delivery room where Hermione waited. "Are you ready to see your son?" He asks her, walking over to the bed.

Her hair was a mess, being a relief to Draco as that was the Hermione he had always known. Even in the sloppy ponytail the nurses had put it in, it still went out in a hundred directions. Her face was paler than usual and her lips chapped but she was still the beautiful Hermione he knew. "Who does he look like?" Hermione asked, her voice scratchy from screaming out in pain before.

"Find out for yourself." Draco answers, putting their son down in her arms. He looked nothing like what Hermione had dreamed about and for a split second, she was nearly shocked that the baby in her arms wasn't Bellatrix as it had been in her nightmares.

"He...he's beautiful." She whispers, tears streaming down her face. "He...he looks so much like you."

"He has your eyes." Draco answers, looking from down at their son back up to Hermione. Before he could think, his lips were on hers kissing her passionately. "I'm sorry," He whispers as he pulls away, remembering what his mother had said. "I painted Perseus' room while you were leaving with my mum."

Hermione looks at him confused, not wanting to have this argument again. "How?" She asks, trying to place the time between when he had left them alone in the room, when Narcissa had taken her to St. Mungo's, and when Draco had shown up, nearly twenty minutes later. "When did you have time?"

"I cast a spell before I left. Painted the room the way I prefer it." Draco answers, trying to sound like his usual cocky self.

"Draco..." Hermione starts, frustrated that they were discussing this here.

"No Hermione, you don't get a say so in it. We are going with purple, it's already done." He answers, catching her off guard.

"Purple?" She asked, looking up at him. "But I thought-"

"And I thought you wanted a neutral color Granger, but all you women seem to do is change your minds." He says with a sigh, "I guess when we get home I will change it again, but we can't keep doing this. It is rubbish."

"No," Hermione whispered, looking at Draco with a new amount of respect. "I...I like it." She says with a smile.


	50. Narcissa's Secret

**A/N: Sorry everyone for the delayed update. Been working on my family tree and have been getting really far back into it. Am back to the mid-1800's which is really cool. Was wondering, what are some of my readers favorite shippings? **

Within two weeks, Hermione had made it home from St. Mungo's. It was a strenuous labor, taking a lot out of her and had left her with a loss of blood which the Healers said magic couldn't fix, only time. Draco took her on slow walks around St. Mungo's, allowing her to rebuild up her strength and making sure to keep her away from the Psychiatric Ward as to not see his father. She was still persistent on the wedding not being moved back, a week after Perseus' due date, December 8th. Draco had warned her that it would be cold, trying to put up an argument to get Hermione to heal more first but she insisted.

Now, here she stood in a sleek white dress in front of the full-length mirror in Narcissa's room. The dress was a spaghetti strap, a low cut dress that showed off Hermione's toned arms. Being of white silk, it draped over a little bit in the front, hiding her self-conscious baby bump that she still held from carrying Perseus and draped down to her feet, cutting at an angle going from her right knee across to her left ankle.

"You look beautiful." Narcissa whispers, entering the room. Reaching up behind Hermione, she puts a necklace around her neck, rows of two diamonds on either side that met in the middle and went down, forming a straight line. "This was the necklace Lucius gave me at our wedding."

Hermione bit her bottom lip as she looked at herself in the mirror, the way her hair waved perfectly around her face, the frizz having died down from the muggle Mouse her mother had used when she was a child to die down her own hair. She couldn't hold it back any longer, she had to ask. "How did you and Lucius come to be?" Hermione mummers quietly, looking at Narcissa through the mirror.

Narcissa looked down at Hermione's neck where she had latched the necklace, a distant look in her eyes. "It was arranged Hermione. Whenever it comes to pureblood families like ours, it isn't about love or passion. It is about keeping the bloodline pure. Repaying debts."

"What do you mean repaying debts?" Hermione asks, knowing she had already gone too far.

"I don't know the details of it." Narcissa answers, still not making eye contact with Hermione as she explained. "I wasn't meant to. I was a lady, and much like now with Lucius, it wasn't my place to ask about such affairs. I remember that it was a dark, stormy night." She begins, looking off into the distance as she explains the story, reliving it herself. "Father was sitting in front of the fire and our home wasn't anything like this one Lucius brought me into. It was more like my cousin Sirius' place, small and compact with too many rooms for the building we lived in. Mother had the same family tree on her wall, I remember watching as her and Father burnt Andromeda's picture off of it. The house was nice though, it was home to say the least but it was nothing like the Manor. Abraxas, that was Lucius' father, and Lucius showed up at the house. Lucius was disgusted with the way we lived, being a man who had grown up in the Manor here. He was handsome then," She says with pride, "Younger with a stern face that told everyone he was ready for business. They had shown up together, telling my father they were tired of waiting, that he had a debt he needed to pay. My father couldn't provide them with the money they wanted for whatever the debt was, the Malfoys had plenty of that so-"

"So he offered them his daughter?" Hermione asks in concern.

"Yes, Father said he may have something else that would interest them. He looked at Lucius, who was only twenty-one at the time and said he was of the age to wed. Lucius was disgusted, thinking that my father was talking about Bellatrix. He told him he wasn't interested in Bellatrix, that she was too 'unmanageable' for his needs. Andromeda was already wed and disowned, a blood traitor as my parents had called her and with me being the quiet one, I was often times overlooked as Lucius had."

"So then what happened?" Hermione asked, intrigued in the story Narcissa was telling.

"My father told him he had another daughter, a more manageable daughter that would suit Lucius' needs greatly. He called for me and I came, as the well behaved daughter I was. I remember that I was wearing a green dress, one my Mother had bought me saying I was her Slytherin Pride. That's what Cissy was back then, was the prime example of what a Slytherin woman was supposed to be. I had taken Lucius aback." She says with pride in her voice. "He tried to cover up the fact that he was impressed, asking why he would want to marry a Black. Father knew this was our only chance at improving the Black name after what Sirius and Andromeda had done, so he told him I was all he had to offer, thinking that at least that way, I was moving up in the world if he wasn't."

"And they agreed?" Hermione asked, already knowing the answer. Of course they had agreed, Narcissa had become a Malfoy and given birth to the man Hermione was now marrying.

"Yes, it took some persuasion on my father's part but Abraxas knew my father was right, that it was time Lucius wed and carried on the family name as his own. So, it was set up for the middle of June. My father kept me locked away in the house until then to insure my purity for me and Lucius' wedding night. It would have been a deal-breaker if I wasn't pure, Father would have still owed Abraxas the debt."

Hermione nodded understanding.

"Once we were married, it was my duties to provide him with a clean house, a son to carry on the Malfoy name. That is what I did. Father knew I was marrying a Death Eater and although he wasn't thrilled at the thought, it was the only thing he had to offer at the time that the Malfoys would accept. I have grown to love Lucius over the years, to be thankful that he has taken such good care of me. Better care than what Theodore's father took care of his mother."

Hermione nodded again. "Do you think that is why Draco is marrying me?" She asks softly, "Is because of the baby? To carry on the Malfoy name and provide a home for his son?"

Narcissa sat there and thought about it for a moment before answering. "Draco was to wed the Parkinson girl, another prearranged marriage we had set up from the moment they were children. He was to marry into her family and take care of her the way Lucius took care of me. It didn't work that way, however. Draco never had a liking for the Parkinson girl and she was just doing as she was asked. Whenever Draco looks at you, it's more than just him wanting to take care of you. He loves you already Hermione, even I can see that."


	51. I Do

Draco stood there, straightening his tie as he smirked in the mirror. "What do you think Zabini?" He asked as Blaise walked into the room. "I can dress up rather nicely I suppose."

"Just hurry up so that I can get out of this blasted thing." Blaise answered, pulling at his own tie in disgust. "You know, Pansy still isn't letting me live this down."

"What?" Draco asked, smirking again. "The fact that you are all dolled up and ready to wed?"

"Exactly," Blaise answers, "One more comment about 'Blaise, when are we going to get married and have beautiful babies?' and I'm going to vomit." He says in disgust.

"Yea well," Draco laughs, "That's Pansy. She had our entire wedding planned out and I didn't even shag her."

"Wait? You what?" Blaise looked at his best friend in confusion. He had heard them before Draco found out about Hermione, Pansy moaning out in Draco's room while Blaise covered his own head with a pillow in disgust before banging hard on their joined bathroom door. Those were the nights he didn't get any sleep, having to listen to Pansy scream out Draco's name in pleasure. "So you're telling me all of those nights that I had to listen to Pansy..." He asks, unsure that he wanted to hear the answer.  
"Well," Draco answers, shrugging his shoulders "There are other things that one can do to satisfy a woman besides romping their brains out, but no. I never did."

Blaise looked down in defeat. He had been fooled, just as much as everyone else had. "Listen, umm...Are you sure you want to do this? You and Hermione hated each other growing up."

"I know that Zabini!" Draco barks, offended that Blaise had asked. "I realize that we hated each other but things have changed." He hisses in anger, thinking of everything he had been through with Hermione. How happy he was whenever she had came into his bedroom, eating and drinking for the first time. How he didn't even question letting her have the bed in their room as he slept on the floor. How the lightning bolts ran through his body the first time that he kissed her, even if it were before he hurt her. The way her lips still sent lightning bolts through his body even after she betrayed him by snogging Potter. He thought of how she stood there beside him in St. Mungo's when he felt like less than a House Elf and told him she wasn't giving up, that he was her hero. How she had snuck him the Veritaserum because she couldn't stand him being in there for any longer. How, whenever they traveled, she helped him through the muggle areas as much as possible, being patient as he tried to catch on to their traditions, even after he attacked the mime. "I...I care about her Zabini. I want to marry her." He says, shocked even to himself that he was confessing this.

"So, we made a deal Draco." Blaise answers, looking at him. "The spell?"

"I know, I haven't forgotten." Draco barks back, unsure of when he was going to do it. "She is doing so well though. What if causing her to feel numb to it only brings the feelings back stronger?"

Just then, they heard a knock on the door. Draco looks over at Blaise in confusion before nodding his head towards the door telling him to open it.

"Blaise!" Pansy screams, hugging him as Blaise opens the door. "I am so glad you answered! That tux looks amazing on you. I can't wait to get you back home!" She squeals out, causing Draco to flinch in disgust. _And to think, that could have been me._ "Hermione wanted me to give-" She looks back at Draco in shock. Shock that he could dress up so nicely, shock that he was there at all. Somewhere in her mind, she was hoping that Blaise had been alone, that they could get a quick snogging session in before the wedding or that she wouldn't have to see Draco's face whenever he read what Hermione had written. "Ummm..."

"Hi Pansy." Draco answers, "Are you going to give Zabini what Hermione sent you for or stand here gawking?"

"Yeah," Pansy answered, pulling a piece of folded parchment paper out from behind her. "He..here Blaise." She whispered, leaving quickly as to not see their response.

Blaise and Draco sat for what seemed like hours staring at the parchment paper, neither one of them wanting to open it. "It's for you," Blaise finally said, speaking up.

"Pansy never said that." Draco answers, never taking his eyes off of the paper. "What do you think it says?"

"That the wedding is cancelled?" Blaise jokes, earning himself a death glare from Draco. "It probably says nothing." He answers, seeing the fear in Draco's eyes. "Women write sappy love crap all the time. That she can't wait to spend the rest of her life with you or some rubbish like that."

Sighing, Draco picked up the paper. His mouth dropped open as he read it carefully.

_Draco,  
_

_Never in a million years did I think I would feel this way about you. Or, that you in return, would feel just as strongly for me. I know now that you are not marrying me because of the baby. I can see that you love me and this isn't the Malfoy way, to marry a muggle born out of love, but you are doing it anyway. You don't care what others think of us, which is still a shock to me, having known you for the past eight years, seven of them you being nothing more than a pompous, selfish evil little twit. You have changed though and helped me change and survive. You are my hero Draco Malfoy and I do love you so very much. I promise I will do my best to be a good wife to you. However, I do have a slight confession. Whenever you were in St. Mungo's, you asked me to brew up some truth serum and sneak it in to you. I claimed to have done it, pouring it in the tea right before you got questioned by Madam Adonna. However, I must admit for honesty is vital to any marriage, there was no truth serum. I fooled you and for that I am sorry.  
_

_Your Darling Fiancee,  
_

_Hermione Jean  
_

Draco stares at the piece of parchment paper, still in shock from what it said. She had never given him the truth serum, he had been honest of choice, not because of her but because he wanted out. Because he wanted to be with her. "It...it's the sappy love crap." Draco answers, his eyes not leaving the parchment paper.

"So, why are you still staring at it?" Blaise asked, confused by Draco's actions. Draco couldn't tell him the truth, Blaise would never understand why it meant so much to Draco that Hermione hadn't given him the serum. That he had told the truth for himself. Blaise would never get it.

"It's nothing." Draco answers, folding up the parchment paper and putting it in his pocket. "Come on, I need to go get married."

* * *

Draco had slicked his hair back the way he had when they were younger, trying to give it the, as his mother had put it when he was younger, proper look. Standing there before one of the members of the Ministry, he held his breath, waiting for Hermione to come out of the Manor, her arm in Arthur's as they had planned.

"Think she backed out on you yet?" Blaise whispers from beside him with a smirk.

"Shut up." Draco answers through gritted teeth knowing if that were the case, his worst fear had finally come true. Hermione had finally seen him for the monster he saw himself to be and had given up on him.

He looked across the yard one last time, seeing all of their friends and family there before him. The Weaslette sat next to Potter, her hand in his as she rubbed her now six month pregnant belly. Weasley sat beside them on Hermione's side, his date being Lavender, scars covering the side of her face and down to where her Gryffindor red scarf covered her neck, hiding the remaining scars that his aunt's mutt, Greyback, had covered her with, making it impossible for her to come to the wedding had it been closer to the full moon. He looked further to see Molly dabbing away her tears already in the first row, sitting where Hermione's own mother should have been sitting.

On his side, which was now showing bare compared to Hermione's, he saw Blaise's mother in her finest robes. Her latest husband, another of which didn't see the fate coming to him, was deceased from 'natural causes' and sat next to Pansy Parkinson's parents, the two women already smiling as they planned out the wedding that Blaise and Pansy hadn't even prepared for yet. Goyle's mum sat up towards the front, putting her hand on a very proper Narcissa Malfoy's shoulder, who sat there elegantly with the bundle of blankets that Perseus hid in, as if the talk she had had with her soon-to-be daughter-in-law had never occurred.

Draco's eyes went back to the door as it creaked open. He held his breath, waiting for the moment he could set his eyes on her.

"I told you." Blaise continues in a whisper, teasing Draco. "This is that Weasley saying that she changed her mind. That she has decided-"

"I said shut up Zab-" Draco growls, the sight of his bride walking out of the Manor, taking his breath away. She wore her dress beautifully, the way that the white silk draped off of her, a matching white silk shawl draped over her shoulders as she walked arm in arm with Arthur to the front. He stared at Hermione as she walked closer to him, her hair falling down her back gracefully with a single strand falling in front of her face.

He watched in shock as she kissed Arthur on the cheek and hugged Molly before turning towards him, smiling as she walked up and stood across from him. His eyes never left her as he heard talking in the background, it sounding like an underwater murmur as he stared at her. She was beautiful, she was perfect, and most of all now, she was going to be his wife.

"DRACO!" She hissed, breaking the spell that had taken him over from the moment she stepped out of the Manor. "SAY I DO!"

"I...I do." Draco whispers, staring at her. "Until the day I die, Hermione Granger, I do."


	52. Nott's Betrayal

"So," Pansy asked as she sat there over her piece of wedding cake, "Do you feel any different?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione answered, trying not to get the cake on her white dress. What Draco had said at the wedding had caught her off guard and now that they were here at the reception, held only a short distance away from where Draco had told her the words, she couldn't help but notice something about him had changed as he sat on the other side of the tent, smiling down at their son.

"I mean, now that you two are married. Do you feel any different?" Pansy continued to push, looking up at Hermione for answers.

"Not really." The bride said quietly. "Draco is still the same person he was four hours ago. He is still Draco, it's just that we are married now." She says with a smile as her cheeks turned red as she thought about calling him her husband.

"I just never saw Draco doing it is all." Pansy said, starting her rant. "He just always seemed like the type to claim that he didn't need a woman. He never really cared when we were dating. I could go out and do as I wished, come back to his prefect room at night and he didn't even kiss me good night. Sometimes I wondered if he simply preferred being alone until he started helping you."

Hermione looked at her friend with curiosity. Why would Draco not care whether or not Pansy was in his bed? Was there more to the story than even Pansy knew? Did Draco- No, he couldn't have cared about Hermione that far back, he simply didn't care about Pansy.

"So, before we get interrupted again by Draco or Blaise, how was it?" Pansy asked, pressing the question harder. Hermione knew she couldn't keep putting Pansy off, she couldn't keep relying on others to interrupt whenever Pansy pushed the question, demanding details.

"It was painful." Hermione answered, remembering how it stung at first but trying to block out the majority of what happened. "But when he kissed me, it made up for it."

"WAIT!" Pansy exclaims, putting two and two together. "So Draco was... your first?"

Hermione nodded silently, allowing Pansy to believe what she wanted.

"But Hermione," She whispered, a look of shock on her face."That's not possible."

"I think it's very possible, thank you very much." Hermione answered in a matter-of-fact attitude. "I know who I have and haven't-" She stopped herself, thinking about what to say. "Anyway, he was."

"Hermione," Pansy continued, "I was Draco's only serious-ish relationship. Me and him never shagged."

Hermione stared at Pansy for a moment, trying to put together what she was saying. "So you mean-" She started before remembering what had happened at the Manor.

_"'Bout time you step up and become a man Draco, deary,"_

_"Ha ha! My little nephew gets to become a man!"_

_"Is this your first?"_

_The tear that hit the pillow beside Hermione as Draco kissed her one last time.  
_

_The way he fumbled with his belt, trying to get it off. His hands were shaking.  
_

_The way he threw up, not even caring that she was right there beside him.  
_

It suddenly made sense in Hermione's head. It wasn't guilt that made him that way, or fear of messing up. "Are you trying to tell me Draco Malfoy was a virgin?" Hermione asked, shocked to hear the words even come out of her own mouth. "That's rubbish, that's impossible. Draco had his chance at any girl in the school and-"

"And I offered it to him." Pansy replied, "I stood there in nothing but my knickers in the prefect room you two shared before the war. He never took me up on it."

Hermione stared at Pansy shocked. It suddenly made sense on why Draco took the rape so rough. Not only was he being raped too but he had lost his virginity as well in the process. Hermione was his first, his last, and his only.

"I think it's romantic really," Pansy says with a sigh. "I wish me and Blaise had been each others first, to love only each other ever-" Hermione blocked Pansy out as her friend started to ramble on again about romance and love. She couldn't believe it. Why hadn't Draco told her? She knew exactly why he hadn't told her. He couldn't tell her that, it wasn't like Draco. Draco was a Malfoy. One who kept it a secret when he was forced to take the Dark Mark and redeem his father's name. He didn't cry, even whenever nothing seemed to be working out for him. He would, even on his best of days, pick on Hermione calling her a mud blood and disgusting. It was no surprise that Draco hadn't told her this, he still had to act like Draco.

"Umm Hermione?" Ron asked, pulling Hermione out of her deepest of thoughts as he stood in front of her. "I was wondering...umm...if umm..."

"Well spit it out Ron." Hermione said, laughing. "I haven't got all night you know."

"I was ugh...wondering if ugh..." He continues, staring at his feet.

"He wants to know if you'll dance with him Hermione." Ginny says with a laugh as she walks by.

"Yea," Ron answers, looking up. "What she said."

"Of course I will Ron." Hermione answers with a smile, standing up. "I never thought you would ask."

Ron put his hand on Hermione's waist, just as McGonagall had done and led her around the room uncomfortably, seeing Harry smile and walk over to point it out to Draco.

"I know I've asked this before Hermione, but do you love him?" Ron asked nervously, waiting for Hermione to blow up on him.

"Yes Ron," She answers honestly, thinking about everything that had happened. "Draco protected me. He has given me a beautiful son and took me to go try and find my parents. He has helped me so much." She says, thinking about it. "I do love him."

"Right," Ron answers, looking down at his feet. He had always felt like it should have been him marrying Hermione, like he should have been the one to take her to find her parents and try to make things work, not snogging her at her weakest moments. "I wonder you know, if I had been a...a better friend, a better boyfriend..."

"Nothing would have changed Ron." Hermione answers, knowing deep down it was true. "Even if you did do everything perfectly Ron, the rape still would have happened. Draco still would have gotten me pregnant and we still would be having this dance, just like this."

"Right." Ron answers again, it not being the answer he wanted to hear.

"But I am glad we can still be friends." Hermione answered, seeing the disappointment on Ron's face.

Just then, a loud boom hit the side of the tent, causing screams as the night sky filled with zaps coming from wands and flames. Hermione pulled away from Ron, grabbing her wand and pointing it towards the attack. Ron ran towards it, losing Hermione in the crowd.

"Hermione!" She heard Draco's familiar voice call out over the screams. "Hermione!"  
"Draco!" Hermione screamed back, running towards him as she heard a loud boom not but a few feet away from her. Running ahead, not looking around her, she ran into Draco's arms holding him tight. She looked behind him, seeing a Death Eater standing behind them, his wand pointed at Draco's back.

"Avada Kedev-"

"INCARCEROUS!" A girl's voice screams out from behind Hermione, binding the Death Eater's arms and legs in ropes as it knocked him to the ground. Hermione turned around to face her husband's savior only to see Ginny smiling behind her.

"What?" She says with a shrug, "You think I'd actually let your husband die just because you snogged Harry?"

"Thank you." Hermione answers, truly thankful that Ginny had saved Draco's life. She ducks her head, dodging an attack from another Death Eater as a fireball hit the tent behind her. "EXPELLIARMUS!" She screams, knocking the Death Eater back as the wand flew from the unknown attacker's hand.

"Get Perseus." Draco yells at her. "Get him and Ginny in the house and safe! I am going to get to the bottom of this!"

Hermione nods as her and Ginny run off, Draco staring at the Death Eater still intertwined in ropes. Walking over slowly as the battle rages on around him, he pulls the Death Eater's mask off, revealing none other than Theodore Nott's father. "Nott." He whispers, looking down at the man. "You did this?"

"Pathetic blood traitor." The man spit, staring up at Draco.

Draco suddenly filled with rage as he stared back at the man in front of him. The man who, when his father had been sent to Azkaban had been the one who told him how to bring glory back to the Malfoy name. The man who never once doubted Draco, now not only crashing his wedding but calling him a blood traitor in the process. "If I'm not mistaken," Draco whispers, his blood boiling with anger, "You are in no place to be calling names." He stared down at the man for only a moment longer before sighing, remembering where the Death Eaters had gotten him. "And this is for my father." He says, stomping down on Nott's face, not only breaking his nose but causing him to go unconscious.

He picked his head up, looking around the tent at the people screaming and dueling, seeing Harry fight someone who looked fairly familiar, even with the Death Eater mask on. "Alecto Carrow." He whispers, seeing her white hair drape down her back in a straight braid. He ran in that direction, hoping to find Theo and get some questions answered.

"Potter!" Draco screams out, causing Harry to turn around. "AGUAMENTI!" He screams, pointing his wand at the Death Eater that he knew was Alecto, causing her to flinch away from the water. "Potter, she nearly drowned as a child!" He hollered out, letting Harry know she was deathly afraid of water. "USE IT!"

Harry nodded at him in thanks, pointing his own wand back at the Death Eater, shooting more water in her direction as she jumped out of the way, losing concentration.

Draco continued to run away from the tent, towards what he saw as a tall, lanky boy running in the same direction. "THEO!" He screamed out furiously, trying to get the boy to stop. "NOTT!" The boy continued to run away from Draco, turning around every so often to see if Draco, who hadn't let up, was still following behind him. "IMPEDIMENTA!" He screams, pointing his wand at Nott's back, causing him to fall to the ground.

Theodore turned over, fear in his eyes as he faced Draco, trying to back up slowly on his hands and feet.

"EVERTA STATUM!" Draco hollers in fury, knocking Nott back another two feet. "Think it's funny to have daddy crash on my wedding, do you?" Draco asks, grabbing Theo by the shirt as he caught up to him, staring Theo in the eyes. "Think it's funny to have him nearly kill me and my wife, do you?"

"I...I didn't know." Nott stammers back, trying to save himself.

"You didn't know by telling your father the date and time of my wedding that he would come and try to kill us! That he would try to kill my son! My mother! She took care of you Nott!" Draco hollers, shaking Theo against the ground as he screamed it. "She watched you as your pathetic father was out fighting for the Dark Lord!"

"YOU FOUGHT ALONGSIDE HIM!" Theodore hollers back, now angry himself. "You think it didn't suck when you and Lucius crashed on the Weasley wedding, or you think I just didn't know?!"

Draco didn't need an explanation anymore as he punched Theodore in the face, knocking him out cold. He knew the reason Theo did it. It wasn't because Draco had crashed in on the Weasley wedding. It wasn't because he was trying to show his father, once and for all, that he could make him proud and be a man like Lucius had told Draco he was doing. Nott had done it because Draco had married Hermione. He was a blood traitor to all the Death Eaters now, having married a mud blood. That was the only reason Theo had done it and Draco was furious over it. Once again, just for good measures, he punched the unconscious Theo in the face.

"And I don't regret marrying her." He said coldly as he walked back towards the Manor.


	53. Forgetting

Hermione sat upstairs in Draco's old bedroom, posters of Quidditch players on his wall and a bookshelf filled with the Dark memorabilia in the corner. Draco obviously hadn't been in this room since the war, seeing as how the bed was still made and the Draco that Hermione knew now would never have anything Dark Arts in his home. She shivered as she stared at little Perseus in his bassinet. His mouth was open just the slightest bit as he kept his eyes closed and his fist clenched around Hermione's finger. She couldn't believe it, he was so beautiful. So perfect. How could something as delicate as their son come from something as violent and vicious as the war they had to fight when they were barely adults themselves.

She felt like they couldn't be safe anymore, anywhere. They were at their own wedding, what was supposed to be the happiest moment of Hermione's life and they got attacked. Something could have happened to her or Draco or worse, what if something happened to Perseus. What if one of the Death Eaters had gotten him in their grasps. She knew what they could do. She had seen what they had done to her and Ron trying to get to Harry. She shuddered at the thought.

"My mother charmed the house with Cave Inimicum." She hears her husband's voice whisper as the door opens softly, allowing a sliver of light to shine into the room and across Perseus' face.

Hermione shuddered again, thinking of how that same spell had only managed to give her, Ron, and Harry a little bit more time. How it had only saved them momentarily from the inevitable fate they were going to meet as they stood before the Malfoy Manor, not knowing what was inside. Hoping that no one could recognize Harry with the curse she had put on his face, or that Draco wouldn't give them away. The word 'MUD BLOOD' on her arm burned as she could imagine Draco's Dark Mark had as she looks down at the bassinet.

Draco watches as Hermione's eyes don't leave their sleeping son. Draco didn't have to see him to know how he was sleeping, his arms up on either side of his head as his mouth was open the slightest bit and his eyes barely shut, as if he would open them any minute. He remembered what Blaise had told him. 'If you won't do it, I will.' and how Draco had answered, 'It will be done tonight.' Taking another step closer, he looked at his wife.

"I can make your pain go away." He whispers into the darkness as he picks his wand up, pointing it at her.

Hermione turns around, scared of what Draco might mean. Did someone at the tent say something to him, convince him to change his mind. To obliviate her, or worse. To kill her. Hermione shivered as she looked at Draco's wand. "Pl...please don't obliviate me." She whispered softly, trying to come up with something. "N...not in front of Perseus."

"EMOVERE MORSUS!" Draco called out nervously, a burst of blue light coming from his wand as it hit Hermione in the chest. She fell back onto the bed, laying there for a second. Concerned, Draco ran over to the bed, wrapping his arms around her quickly and holding her close.

"Draco," She whispered into his shoulder as she tried to focus. Her mind was fuzzy, almost as if she were drunk and she couldn't focus on the emotions she had been feeling seconds prior. "What...What happened?"

"That was supposed to take your pain away." Draco whispered to her, holding her close to his chest. "Snape gave it to me after I...after I told him what they made me do." He looks at her. "I figured it would make a nice wedding present from him."

Hermione stares at Draco, shocked that he had put that much time and effort into making sure she wasn't hurting, even before he knew of the baby. He did care about her, and not just because of Perseus, but for other reasons. He had been willing to help her long before she had even considered helping him.

Hermione felt her body shake as she leaned in, her lips touching Draco's lightly. Feeling as he responded accordingly, she continued to kiss him, deepening the kiss as he ran his hands up her back and across her shoulders. "You did look quite beautiful tonight Mrs. Malfoy." He whispers, returning Hermione's kisses as he lay her back on the bed, her hair surrounding the pillow as he looked down at her. Hermione gently undid the first few buttons of Draco's shirt, causing him to bite his lip in nervousness. As she got to the third button, Hermione saw the similar light pink of a scar. Looking up, she saw fear and shame in Draco's eyes.

Hermione bit her bottom lip as she unbuttoned more, exposing Draco's bare chest and seeing three long scars, one along his chest, one going the length of his stomach and one down his side. It took her breath away as Draco looked down in shame.

"What...What happened Draco?" Hermione asked, running her finger across the scar on his chest as she looked up at him in shock.

"Potter." He whispers lightly, having never shown anyone besides Snape his chest since it had happened. "We got into a duel in the girl's lavatory our sixth year. He-"

"He used Sectrum Sempra." Hermione whispers, remembering Harry telling them about it in the Common Room, how Draco had been bleeding and he had no idea what to do. He felt like a murderer, watching Draco bleed out onto the floor until Snape walked in, telling Harry to go back to his dorms as he leaned over Draco's body, healing the cuts on Draco's body. Hermione could almost see the blood pooling around Draco's body as he cried out.

Draco nodded softly as Hermione leaned down, kissing her way along the scar on his chest. Going from the point on his left shoulder down to the bottom of his ribs on his right side she kissed lightly, before going down to his stomach where she kissed where the scar nearly circled around his stomach. Looking down at her, Draco moaned out lightly.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking down at her as her eyes looked back up at his.

"I think they make you perfect." Hermione whispers, "They show that beneath the bad boy, Draco Malfoy is still just as human as the rest of us." She says, kissing her way back up his body until her lips met his again. Kissing him softly, Draco felt as Hermione softly licked his bottom lip, begging him for a deeper kiss which he sweetly obliged to as he held his new wife in his arms.

Draco felt as excitement overwhelmed him, causing him to press against the seem of his slacks whenever Hermione started to unbuckle his belt. "Hermione," He whispered, breaking their kiss. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Gazing up at him, Hermione's chocolate eyes gazed into his grey eyes. Her mouth dropped open the slightest bit as she looked down at his chest, wondering if it was truly what she wanted before speaking. "Yes." She whispers, "Make love to me Draco."

Draco couldn't hold it back anymore as he leaned in, kissing her neck lightly as he heard her sigh into his ear. "Draco." She whispered lightly as he continued to kiss his way down her neck, into the dip between her neck and shoulder and moving the straps of her dress as he kissed his way down her chest. Pulling her dress down and off, Draco looked down at Hermione's naked body.

"Merlin." He whispered softly gazing down at her body, only the moonlight showing a soft light through the window to make her look even more beautiful. He looked down her chest, her breasts looking perfect in the moonlight down to her knickers, the white lace of them causing him to get even more excited at the thought of loving her. "You are beautiful." He whispers as he runs his hands over her body, working his way down the center of her chest down to her stomach and resting his hands on her knickers, touching them lightly. He could feel her warmth, the wetness of her excitement through them, exciting him more.

Reaching for the point on her knickers where they met her hips, Draco pulled them down slowly, kissing her lower stomach lightly as he did. Leaning back up, Draco pressed his body to Hermione's as he kissed her softly, feeling his way up her thigh with shaking hands until he reached her core, exploring her gently with his hands, causing a moan to escape Hermione's lips as she unbuttoned and unzipped his slacks, pulling them and his pants down his legs to his knees. It took her breath away as she saw how excited he was.

"Make love to me," Hermione whispers again, pulling Draco further on top of her feeling as he entered her, sending another sigh out of her as she felt what she had wanted for the past five months. Kissing him passionately, she embraced the feeling as Draco made love to her for the first time, their first real sexual experience.

* * *

"I love you," Hermione whispers as she lay her head on Draco's chest.

"I love you too Hermione." Draco answers, brushing her hair behind her shoulder out of her face. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me." He whispers softly, kissing her as he tried to hold on to the thought of Hermione like this, carefree. He felt as her breathing evened out, as she gently closed her eyes and before he knew it, Hermione had fallen asleep laying on his chest.

Draco watched her sleep, hoping that Blaise would be right. That whenever she woke up in the morning, even though the spell had worn off, that her pain would be gone and she would be able to return to being the Hermione he knew before the war. Draco could only hope.


	54. Holy Water

**A/N: Would like to thank my most loyal of readers. I honestly never saw Emovere hitting it off this well and believe me when I say, I am just as sad to see it end as you all are. I would like to give a special dedication to Big and Rich for their song Holy Water, which gave me the inspiration to write this fanfic and to Rae Carson and DJ Vivian for keeping me writing whenever I felt like my own personal world was crashing around me. Also, thank you to Pug1998, SerpentofDarkness, shaymars, xJashesx, and redskittlsbaby3 for following me from day one with the story and religiously posting reviews. To everyone who read Emovere, I thank you. It wouldn't have gotten anywhere without you.**

The following morning Draco had to explain to Hermione what exactly had happened, or at least as well as he had known. Emovere Morsus, a spell Snape had made for himself to deal with the death of his dearest friend, Lily Potter, took the pain away from the traumatic experience for an hour, long enough that the person dealing with the experience could grasp back onto reality and see it for what life for what it really was, leaving the traumatic experience as little more than a movie in the victim's head. Hermione sat there listening as Draco explained it to her as Snape had explained it to him, hoping that it would be enough to keep her as the person she was before the rape.

Finally, after he had finished, Hermione looked at him, the deep chocolate color in her eyes as she said the words. "Thank you Draco," She whispers softly, kissing him on the lips. Quickly, he took her up in his arms, holding her close to his chest as he thanked Snape silently for giving him the strength, the ability, to bring his wife back.

Eleven years later, Hermione walked towards Platform 9 3/4, holding Draco's hand as they watched a young Perseus running ahead of them, pushing his trolley as he gleamed with pride. Draco held their sleeping toddler in his arms, a young Caelum Malfoy sleeping in his arms while a little girl, about five, tugged on Hermione's dress.

"Mummy," She pouted, "I want to go to Hogwarts."

Hermione looked up at her husband before leaning down, brushing the light brown hair our of her face with her hand. "You will Narcy." She whispers, "Your time will come."

"What did I tell you Perseus!?" Draco barks, keeping his Malfoy demeanor as Perseus ran far ahead of them. "You are going to stay with us, stay close."

"But Dad-" Perseus started.

"But nothing." Draco answers, not knowing if Theo had a son around the same time they had had Perseus, or if any of the other Death Eaters had for that matter.

"Now if that doesn't sound like the Drakey I know." He heard a high pitched voice call out from behind them. Draco couldn't help but cringe at the old childhood nickname, knowing exactly who was behind them.

"Pansy!" Hermione smiled, standing up and hugging her old friend. "What are you guys doing here? Priscilla don't start for another-"

"Another year, I know." Pansy laughed as the pug-faced girl stepped out from behind her, her dark complexion matched her hazel eyes and dark, sleek hair perfectly, causing Perseus to blush whenever he looked at the girl. "But Blaise insisted."

"I had to see my godson off for his first day at Hogwarts." Blaise laughs, patting Draco on the back. "Remember those days Malfoy?"

Draco smiles lightly, hoping Blaise wouldn't give away too many details on how Draco was back in school. The way they had tormented Longbottom, hiding his toad, Thermos was it? They had hidden him in their compartment the entire ride to Hogwarts, causing the boy to search for his beloved pet for over an hour while the three of them, him Blaise and Pansy, snickered under their breath. He didn't want Perseus to hear what he had done, hoping that he could keep the young boy out of trouble as much as possible and away from Draco's past, although he saw it being inevitable to a point, him having the Malfoy last name.

"Make sure to tell Neville and Hagrid hello for me." Hermione whispered into her son's ear before watching him board the train. A tear ran down her cheek as she watched her oldest son leave them until Christmas break. "Will he be okay?" She asked, looking up at her husband.

"He will be fine." Draco promised, kissing her lightly on the forehead.

"There they are!" Hermione heard an old friend holler as she saw an arm flying around in the air.

"Is that-" Hermione started, looking in the direction.

"Potter and Weaslette." Draco answers coldly. He had developed a new level of respect for both Harry and Ginny over the years. Harry had been the first to congratulate them on Hermione's side, Ginny saving Draco's life, quite literally. He couldn't really keep the childhood resentment whenever they had done so much to help Draco and Hermione whenever they needed it most.

Running in the direction of the couple, Hermione quickly wrapped her arms around Harry's neck. "I am so happy to see you but-" She looked confused as to why they were there. Their son, Albus, had been born three months after Perseus.

"He barely made the cut off." Harry answered, seeing the question in her eyes before she even had a chance to ask it. "You should have heard the way he was bragging, saying that he would be the youngest in his class but still able to go to school with Victorie and Fred."

"That's great." Hermione says with a smile as Draco walks up to them, Narcy holding his hand and Caelum still sleeping in his arms. "This is great." She said, looking off as the train's whistle blew, a last minute call for any procrastinating students or mothers who still couldn't let go. "How do you think they will do?" She asked, staring into the corridor as she watched Perseus sit down, opening a book quickly to catch up on his Hogwarts: A History reading.

She couldn't hear the conversation taking place behind the glass as the door opened, Albus, Fred, and Victorie walking in behind him and Draco tensing up with fear. The Weasleys and the Malfoys, natural born enemies. Fred stood over Perseus with an envious look before Victorie took his arm, pulling him back to sit down across from the young Malfoy boy. He watched carefully as the train blew one last warning call and started to putter off. For only a split second, Draco got to see as Perseus and Albus shook hands and Albus handed him a chocolate frog.

"I think they will do great." Harry answers, also seeing the exchange between the boys. "I really do."


End file.
